As you guys know, we're avid readers of Craigslist's missed connections. Not only do we secretly hope someone missed our connection, but we can't get enough of the love lorn lamentations of the hopelessly hopeful. In search of a good laugh, we came across a great mystery, instead.

It's pretty dead over there, but we did happen across a post entitled "We can be famous..." published by an alleged 18 year old. And it had a picture? We couldn't resist!

Little did we know that we'd stumble upon a mystery that threatens to consume us all...

[Read On ...]

Yeah, we know it's possibly the gayest thing ever, but we love Mariah Carey's Christmas album. It's even better than Streisand's - a pretty serious statement, that.

Anyway, we just wanted to let you guys know what we want for Christmas, Hanukkah and even Kwanzaa: you!

xoxo,
Queerty

Having lost twenty or so pounds over the last few months, Mariah Carey is looking good for a drag queen, though we doubt she ever stopped loving herself. Supposedly she caught the eye of the powers-that-be at Louis Vuitton while lying among their trademark trunks in a bikini for a music video shoot. He just thought she looked so... thin. And her boobs looked so... weird, but in a fashiony way. And well, she's thoroughly Emancipated Mimi; who can compete with that? Perhaps Lindsay Lohan should be worried for her future with the fickle Frenchman.

Carey to Become Fashion Model [Contact Music]

• The plucked, tanned, fancy-boy metrosexual is out. Thank God. [NYT]

• Clay Aiken fans explain why they are suing. A.K.A., "Why we are such losers." [Pressbox]

• Mariah Carey to return to the big screen, after she makes money off Intel. [FF]

• Video of shopping with Johnny Weir. LOVE HIM. [Socialite's Life]

• The leader of the Anglican church to meet with the former Nazi Pope on their differing views of homosexuality. The Anglican leader will explain why they have ordained Gene Robinson, who is gay, as Bishop in New Hampshire, and bless gay weddings in Canada. In other words, the meeting most likely won't go well. [Mirror]

• Kylie Minogue is all better, after her treatment for breast cancer. She's working on a new album already. And the world resumes spinning. [monsters&critics]

• We’re beyond wondering how she does it, but Madonna looks great in yet another video. [Made In Brazil]

• The normally butch Tom Ford gets a little queeny in this video clip from the Vanity Fair shoot. [Vanity Fair]

• Don’t forget, the Grammys are tonight. Hopefully we’ll see a Madonna/Mariah slapfest. [BBC]

• The editorial staff of the NY Press has walked out after the publishers refused to print the Danish cartoons that are causing uprising across the world. [Boozhy]

• Michael Lucas has also recently addressed the subject on his blog. Porn and politics do indeed mix. [Lucas Blog]

• We prefer Tom Ford photoshoots where the fashion guru is frolicking with barely dressed triplets and not naked starlets. [Just Jared]

• Tip to Karl Lagerfeld: stick to fashion. [NY Daily News]

• Don't expect The Gays' two favorite music divas, Madonna and Mariah, to get all friendly at tomorrow night's Grammy's. They're being kept apart. [NY Daily News]

• Apple has cut the price of the Shuffle and added a Nano that we might actually be able to afford. [Reuters via Yahoo]

• Foreign HIV/AIDS infected sporty types get the OK to travel to the Gay Games. [Chicago Tribune]

• The San Francisco Library is giving homophobes in the Bible Belt something new to protest: a traveling exhibition on gay history is coming to the Midwest and the South. [San Jose Mercury News]

On the second to the last day of the Queerty sponsored Bid 2 Beat AIDS auction we are highlighting some clothing that could make you a celebrity look alike drag queen.

We know you belt out “We Belong Together” while lathering up in the shower. Why not slip into this signed Mariah shirt and take it to the next level. We know some of you have a J-Lo booty. Don’t worry, we got you. Try on this signed Jennifer Lopez tracksuit. We think it’s your color.

And for all the Imeldas who read Queerty, we have shoes for you too. A pair of Carlos Santana signed heels complete any look. Buying shoes and raising money for LIFEbeat in one easy transaction? Charity never looked so good.

• The Madonna media train keep on trucking. We have two words for her new Rolling Stone cover: Fucking hot!

• Of course the ex-gay movement would recruit this guy to write a book about his past queer lifestyle. The media is going to just eat up his Christian-fashioned name: God Easter.

• Anna Nicole Smith took home a female bartender in West Hollywood last week for a night of lesbian love. E! needs to give this woman back her own reality show.

• Kinky gay supernatural sex on cable isn't going away anytime soon. Here! has signed Dante's Cove on for a second season.

• If you missed Mariah Carey's stop at the Virgin Megastore in Hollywood yesterday, not to worry. Another queen stops by tomorrow night: Tab Hunter.

• Mariah Carey will make an appearance at the Virgin Megastore in LA tonight. We encourage all you Angelenos to be there before the imminent nervous breakdown causes her to once again disappear from the scene. Bitch is due.

•We've heard the Eddie Murphy/Johnny Gill rumors but we're not sold just yet. We always thought Eddie was into trannies. Unless Johnny Gill becomes Johnny Girl at night.

• Q Network joins Logo and Here! as the trio of gay cable channels in NYC making it the hottest threesome this side of Chelsea.

• A ship goes down in Titanic. In Brokeback Mountain, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal go down on each other. But that isn't the only thing these two movies have in common. (Via Defamer)

• Gender-free bathrooms seemed to work just fine on Ally McBeal.

• Rent doesn't come out until next weekend but being a card carrying queer you're required to whet your appetite with this preview.