We'd be lying if we said we didn't love Dancing With The Stars, the show where not so A-List stars flit about with professional dancers for the ultimate Hollywood title. Alright, maybe "ultimate" is a stretch, but whatever.

Last night marked the beginning of season three. For this go-round, we get a chance to see folk such as Vivica A. Fox, Jerry Springer, Joey Lawrence, and our boy Mario Lopez shake what their mama's gave them. While obviously we love Lopez, we're quite taken with football player Emmitt Smith (pictured with partner, Cheryl Burke). So big in the bod and so light on his feet. Swoon... While we've always had a guilty crush on conservative pundit, Tucker Carlson, we can't help but wag our finger at his red-faced, half-assed effort. Shame on you, Tucker!

We know our readers, and we know you watched, too. So, tell us, who are you cheering on? There's no shame...okay, well, maybe a little.

Though Julian McMahon's Nip/Tuck character Christian wasn't willing to go all the way in his threeway romp with Bruno Campus' Quentin character, this coming season rumor has it Christian is ready to go all the way — with Mario Lopez. The "homoerotic encounter" between the sex maniac and Lopez's "infuriatingly fit" plastic surgeon character is set to take place in the gym showers. Lucky for you, caps from the scenes are already available. There's more after the jump.

Mario Lopez in the Shower on Nip/Tuck [Most Proper, via]

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There was always an unidentifiable tension on Saved By the Bell that kept us coming back for more, and finally someone has pieced it together for us in one coherent video. Set to the music from Brokeback Mountain, Zach and Slater's love for one another is highlighted in the most touching way. We know it's a joke, but we got a little choked up watching it anyway, maybe just out of nostalgia for being thirteen. Hmm... Except being thirteen totally sucked. That can't be it. [via ELH]

Oh, admit it. You love Mario Lopez. From his days on Kids Incorporated, through his post as the host with the most on Petstar--and who could forget "A.C. Slater" on Saved By The Bell? But it was his portrayal as Greg Louganis on Breaking The Surface that introduced America to Mario's package, like a birthday present wrapped in Speedo wrapping paper true thespian abilities. And thank God for his latest return to television: our beloved Mario landed the plum role of Dr. Christian Ramirez on The Bold And The Beautiful, where he will undoubtedly be featured often without his shirt. How we enjoy the guilty pleasures in life.

Although we hold a touch of resentment against Mario Lopez, as he beat out certain members of the Queerty editorial staff for a prized seat as host on The View's all-male knockoff The Other Half, which lasted about a minute. But what a glorious minute it would have been...chatting with Dick Clark, doing lines in the dressing room with Danny Bonaduce...ah, the grandeur. Damn you, Mario Lopez.

Mario Lopez, where have you been? Mario is returning to TV, with a role in The Bold And The Beautiful, and this guy couldn't be happier. All it takes for the rest of us is the view of those abs, and we're happy too. Good Morning!

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