• Tory politico, Sir Simon Milton, has come out of the closet and will be marrying his long-time lover, Robert Davis. Of coming out, Milton remarks: "The time was right...We’re happy and excited. I would rather tell people myself than be the subject of rumour.”

• The murder rate for trans California women just keeps on rising

• Despite activist pressure, the FDA won't be lifting its "gay blood" ban.

• PlanetOut Inc's stock continues to fall.

• Kurt Cobain, Joey Ramone, other dead rock stars live! Wear Doc Martens!

• Ahhhh! It's Kylie Minogue's head! And it's floating!

• Lesbian alleges shelter left her out in the cold: "It was pretty clear the reason she put me on hold is because I said I was a lesbian."

• Did Dick Cheney hire hookers? From Roll Call: "Vice President Cheney isn’t not on the phone records of the alleged D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a high-price call-girl ring in Washington, the accused madam’s lawyer said on Tuesday."

Commercial Closet - the non-profit "non-watchdog" group dedicated to celebrating and chastising pro and anti-gay ads, respectively - has announced their nominees for the 2007 Images in Advertising Awards.

Among the nominees, concerned consumers will find ads from, yes, Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs' bear-y friendly bear hug adverts, and the always gay friendly.

Meanwhile, Holiday Inn, NBC Universal and Sony Playstation have all been nominated for the dreaded "clean-up your act warning" - um - award.

Ball Park Franks has a new advertising campaign - "Hunger Gets What Hunger Wants" - in which burly arms rip through young boys' stomachs, pick up a nice, long dog and cram it down their throats. They're downright freaky.

Of the campaign, homo-journo Dan Avery pleads, "Think of the children!" It seems to us Ball Park may have been thinking about the children a little too much.

Experience another horrific video, after the jump...

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• Larry Birkhead has passed the test. The DNA test, that is, meaning he's officially Dannielynn Smith's baby daddy. His trouble's aren't over, though: Anna Nicole's mama may contest custody. Hasn't this child been through enough?

• Kabaddi: the gayest non-gay sport ever. Well, only for Westerners.

• Gays and anti-gays converge at Oregon's House to fight for gay marriage and against gay marriage, respectively.

• Girls Transsexual Twins on film!

• Gays are taking over straight bars! Social experiment or end of the world? You be the judge. No seriously, ABC literally has a poll: "Should Gay Patrons Go To Straight Bars?" Tomorrow: "Should blacks and whites drink from the same water fountain?"

• First Elizabeth Hurley and new hubby Arun Nayar get disowned by his grumpy parents, now they may face jail time? Some honeymoon...

• Free oxygen's for chumps. You should totally start spending your hard earned dough on bottled oxygen. Now that's fresh.

Someone out there may care to know that Manhunt will now be giving away its patented (read:relabeled) lip balm at all their sponsored events. How generous.

We originally received the not-so-exciting news from a publicity flack and, honestly, didn't even know how to approach this particular story. A fellow editor, however, also received the mass email and forwarded it us with this little note: "They should create a lip balm with Abreva in it! Now THAT'd be useful on Manhunt." Agreed.

Who says porn's a dead end job? Michael Lucas' star and potential clone, Ben Andrews and Falcon star Erik Rhodes have landed new modeling gigs. Some may think their cinematic good looks and gargantuan penises would send them straight for the swimsuit section, but the boys have signed up for a less seedy direction: Loehmann's.

That's right: the boys are topping off the discount retailer's new ad campaign, which envisions them in a variety of fantastical guises, like geeky office workers. It may seem like new territory for these two titillaters, but we're sure they're familiar with the campaign's tag-line: "Work It!" And they are. Mama must be so proud.

See more pics here.

In the second part of our morning kiss trilogy, we again turn our eyes to that damn Snickers commercial. We'll spare you the overblown details, because by now you know that daddy corporation, Masterfoods pulled the adverts. Accompanying news reports focussed on outcry from gay mega groups like HRC and GLAAD - the two groups credited with forcing the retraction - thus the debate swirled around the plug's alleged homophobia. As any good homo knows, he who blows hardest, blows loudest.

At the height of the hysteria, homos were plotting boycotts against the no longer satisfying candy bar. The queers weren't the only ones offended by the accidental gay kiss. Another group raised their voices, but for different reasons all together. The screeches of anti-gay conservatives got drowned out by the squeals of the sissy set.

Actually, we never would have discovered this divergent displeasure had it not been for that Trebay piece...

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• Watching those Snickers commercials? No. Masterfoods yanked 'em, issuing the world's most flippant, indifferent statement in history: "We know that humor is highly subjective and understand that some people may have found the ad offensive. Clearly that was not our intent. As with all of our Snickers advertising, our goal was to capture the attention of our core Snickers consumer."

• Heading to rehab after admitting to fucking you former campaign manager's wife? No, that's pretty much San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's territory. (What's up with everyone going to rehab. Party poopers.)

• Going to Best Week Ever's "The First (and Possibly Last) Annual ZARFCON 2007"? Only if you join them in DC for All My Children actor Jeffrey Carlson's performance in Hamlet.

• Being named Human Rights Campaign's new chief diversity officer? Only if your name's Cuc Vu. (And, yes, they work "the nation’s largest gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization" into the first sentence".)

• Blaming your divorce from Nick Lachey on The Notebook? Yes. That is, if you're name's Jessica Simpson, who says, "I just figured out the statement." Yeah, that's how we read it, too.

• Barring The New York Times from your fashion show over a bad Cathy Horyn review? Only if you're Carolina Herrera. Well, she sure showed that bitch Cathy, now didn't she? Only if Horyn cares, which we doubt she does.

• Announcing your official presidential bid on February 13th? That's what Mitt Romney's reportedly doing. Happy fucking Valentine's.

A copywriter reader sent us a little love note this weekend telling us about his work with dating website, match.com. He writes:

We did some outdoor boards for the UK Match.com that were posted all over their Underground stations. And being the good little homo that i am and wanting to represent my peeps, i asked that we include a gay couple, so we did, no prob.

Nice, right?

So, we followed his link to see what the matchers had in store for the single fagalas. Above you see the gay friendly version. What's that? "Where are the homos," you ask? Why, they're nestled cosily in the upper right hand corner, next to the rainbow. (Duh.)

Sure, it's kind of funny that they're next to the rainbow, but we can't help but wonder why one of the men's green. Can someone please explain? We know it's a fantasy world - note the cream puff's having a romantic date - but they could have made the second homo a normal color, like brown or black or even white. Although, maybe he's got an upset stomach. We don't know....

At least the homos are represented. Not like those bastards over at eHarmony - they're currently being sued for discriminating against queers.

Why do they discriminate against queers? Because they're Evangelicals: founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren got the company off the ground with the help of James Dobson and Focus on The Family. They may have cut official ties when the company went public, but those damn ideological connections have a way of sticking.

• Speaking of coming out: a new study shows that revealing one's HIV status may help maintain healthier CD4 cell count.

• Meanwhile, Iranian scientists claim to have formulated a new herbal remedy for HIV.

• In other international news: with nowhere to express themselves in the West Bank, gay Palestinians are finding comfort in Jerusalem.

• Now, let's turn our attention to some frivolous celebrity gossip: rumor has it that Tom Cruise has asked Ben Stiller to appear in The Hardy Men: an updated, comedic version of the popular mysetry series. Um, since when's Cruise a comedian?

• In education news, more and more people are turning a critical eye on bear culture. The gays, not the forest creatures. As far as we know, the forest creatures don't have any culture...

• Finally, people are twisted over the Snickers' commercials. Homophobia or just plain stupid? You be the judge.

• Janice Dickinson on Survivor contestant turned model JP Calderon's coming out: "I just wanted to tell you how fucking proud I am of you. Coming out yesterday must be really hard, and then being on the cover of a national magazine the next day?"

• Gavin Newsom on getting it on with former campaign manager, Alex Tourk's wife, Ruby: "I want to make it clear that everything you've read is true and I'm deeply sorry about that...I hurt someone I care deeply about, Alex Tourk and his family and friends, and that is something I'm deeply sad about and sorry for".

• Editor and Publisher on FBI agent Deborah Bond's testimony on Scooter Libby's knowledge on Valerie Plame: "[Bond] described the bureau's interview with I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby on Oct. 14, 2003. Asked where he first learned of Ambassador Joe Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, he had told the FBI then -- from the vice president, on or about June 12 that year, in a telephone conversation".

• Morvin Crumlish on computer generated "recommendations": "I find the idea of my bodily functions and sexuality being obsessed about by marketing professionals disturbing, but perhaps my biggest concern is that they are right".

• The Jewish Theological Seminary's study's on conservative Jew's increasingly accepting feelings on gay rabbis: "the decisions clearly raise the possibility among many that the Conservative movement has taken a move to the theological Left, further parting company from the Orthodox, and further approaching the Reform movement".

• Jennifer Hudson on being on American Idol: "...You go through this mental thing... You've been abused, misled and brainwashed to believe whatever they want you to think...I knew I had to sing my way out of it".

Late last night we received an email subjected, "Gays, Business and Burgers". Mistaking it for some exceptionally perverse (and undoubtedly intriguing) porn, we were slightly disappointed to find a tale of "offensive" marketing.

Attempting to capitalize off of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's sort of funny but certainly offensive characterization of gays as "girlie men", Fatburger ran an add campaign for their new Baby Fat deal describing the culinary combo as perfect for "women, children and the occasional girlie man".

We actually think it's sort of amusing, but West Hollywood couple David A. Lee and Daniel Vaillancourt disagree: they wrote an angry letter protesting the homophobic tagline. Of the matter, Lee says,

We basically told them that this ad campaign is an insult to the LGBT community, and that until it was discontinued we would not patronize Fatburger,

It may not sound that serious, but consider Vaillancourt's amendment, "That was a hard promise to make, because Fatburger is our hands-down favorite." A more dedicated activist, we do not know. While some companies would ignore a solitary complaint, Fatburger replied within 24 hours, apologizing for the offense and insisting they'll take down all the posters.

The email also informed us of two other notable bits: one, the couple make a living as screenwriters and two, Lee won a case against former employers, Continental Airlines. It seems CA refused to honor their contract and offer Vaillancourt travel benefits.

As for the so-called "screenwriting", we took a look at IMDB and the boys each have one credit: MTV's short-lived sexy serial, Undressed. We're not sure what's more surprising: the boys' battles for equality or that it took two people to write that shit show. Regardless, we're impressed by their results. Nicely done, gents.

We've included the entire email, after the jump.

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