We've said it before and we'll probably say it again: poor Katie Holmes. Not only has she been zombified, used as a womb for Tom Cruise's miracle baby, but now the date for her nuptials to the looney movie-star has been set.

Mark your calendars, ladies and germs: Ms. Holmes will become Mrs. Katie (Sorry, Kate) Cruise on November 18th in Italy. Dressed in Armani, Holmes will go through the traditional Scientology ceremony of having her brain officially removed and replaced with cotton candy, pebbles, and a severe distaste for reality.

On the plus-side, once the "loving" couples reaches the end of the publicity contract (oh, please, you know it's true), there's no doubt Holmes will be a very rich woman.

Of course, she still won't have a brain...

• Project Runway's Vincent Libretti hates blogs. Especially when they're mean to him. Loser. [Defamer]

• Hetero artist sues boss for mistakenly calling her a lesbian. If we sued someone everytime they call us straight we'd be...nevermind. [Gay People's Chronicle]

• Another anti-marriage protest in South Africa. Didn't South Africans already learn that apartheid ain't cool? [News 24]

• Every time Pat Buchanan says flamer, a demon gets its horns. Also, makes a fun drinking game... [Wonkette]

• University of Minnesota joins Arizona on trannie talk. Everytime someone stands up for a trannie, Pat Buchanan feels a sharp pain in the chest. Keep talkin'! [Minnesota Daily]

• It's not gay, but we can't resist the sight of a model eating shit. Hurts so good... [Mollygood]

• Shocker! Not all hospitals able to test for HIV. Thanks, Congress! [Houston Chronicle]

We came across this article by Andy Horwitz (pictured, spreading the love) over at Nerve, the hornball online magazine. In it, Horwitz takes aim at a New York Times article by Katy Butler in which she dissects the so-called Brokeback marriage trend: that is, when gay men marry straight women in an attempt to cover up their sexuality.

Horwitz takes offense at Butler's depiction as men as villains. He writes:

The article revolves around a Lifetime Channel scenario, in which all women are victims of men — either consciously conniving men or men too weak or cowardly to know themselves.
It is also fundamentally sexist. You would never see such a story written about men who marry lesbians and the havoc that wreaks on their sense of masculinity, safety, commitment and trust.
Such articles enforce rigid codes of conventional American masculinity, envisioning non-traditional masculinity as a threat or trick.

While this may be true, Horwitz goes on to say:

Of course, women's sexual freedom is curtailed by the same impulse: it's simply not taken seriously — no real straight man would have a problem with a lesbian wife, he'd just invite the girlfriend over for a three-way!

Maybe we're just not following him, but wasn't he just railing against the perpetuation of socio-sexual stereotypes? Disparities aside, it's a pretty interesting article, particulary when he offers alternative conceptions of marriage.

Ch-ch-check it.

Public hearings began today in South Africa as the country continues to mull over exactly how they'll be dealing with gay marriage. LGBT organizations and politicians gathered in White City in the township of Soweto (yeah, we think it's a bit tacky, too) to debate whether the proposed Civil Union Act creates a separate - and decidedly unconstitutional - class for gays of the marrying type. Obviously, gay activists maintain the Act's inequality, while the conservative folk insist on securing the sanctity of marriage.

The hearings were interrupted temporarily as all the people who lost their lives fighting apartheid rolled in their graves.

• We've never listened to Fall Out Boy, but there's no reason we can't check out one the band member's own cock shots. BTW, love the Morrissey album. Nice gay touch. [Jossip]

• If you missed last night's Project Runway finale (a dutiful gay would have been glued to his/her TV set at 10 last night), The Malcontent has an extensive wrap-up. [The Malcontent]

• Andy gives us yet another opportunity to ogle a half-naked Jake Gyllenhaal. [Towleroad]

• Our favorite queer rocker, Michael van London (he’s beautiful, nice, and talented, what more could you ask for?), will be giving those queers in West Hollywood a reason to travel North of Santa Monica Boulevard. He’s playing the Sunset Strip next week. [Michael Van London Official Site]

• The Church that is the final resting place for John Adams and his son, John Quincy, will get to hang a pro same-sex marriage banner outside of its entrance after all. [Bay Windows]

Jane Spahr, a lesbian Presbyterian minister has confessed to marrying a couple of dykes two years ago. She’s now going up against the Church’s governing body, the Presbytery of the Redwoods . Is she being tried in Middle Earth?

Spahr tells why she did it:

As the first witness in her trial before a church judicial commission, Spahr testified that while she knew the Presbyterian Church (USA) reserves marriage for a man and a woman, she purposely used the language the couples wanted when she presided over the nuptials.

"I don't care what your sexual orientation is, what's most important to me is what you call it," she said. "They said 'marriage' and I was honored to do their 'marriage,' so they would not be seen as second-class in any way."

Kudos to Spahr, if we had more brave religious leaders like her (straight, gay, whatever), we may not have to deal with some of the discrimination found in most religions. Not that we go to church regularly, but it would be nice for those homos that do to actually be exposed to the one thing most religions seem to preach but not practice: tolerance.

Minister Admits Presiding at Lesbian Unions [AP via Yahoo]

• The MSM has finally discovered the Brokeback Mountain parodies that have been filling our inboxes faster than shirtless pics of Clay Aiken. We're officially over both of them. [NY Times]

• While we're generally pretty unforgiving when celebs record themselves in their most private moments, we're going to take it easy on Texas A&M's Chris Walker. Not because he's half-naked and hot but because he's lip synching "Total Eclipse of the Heart." [Towleroad]

• Soccer star Ashley Cole is suing two UK newspapers for libel for printing gay orgy stories in which his name was never even mentioned. Makes perfect sense to us. [Press Gazette]

• Following the news that gay marriage is good for your health, we now get word that marriage bans are bad for us. [UPI]

• In talking about his being a gay role model, Westlife's Mark Freehily says "I don't know that I necessarily like it too much because, knowing me, I would probably say the wrong thing." We say don't stop talking about your sexuality, Mark. It's the only thing that gets the band press these days. [Sydney Morning Herald]

• There's another reason to go on walking tours other than the fact that it works your glutes: Learn about gay history. [The Scotsman]

• Well that was quick. George Michael has already copped to possessing drugs and being "stupid." [CNN]

• Clint Eastwood may be the epitome of hetero machoism, but his son Kyle isn't one to refuse a little oral from a male friend. [NY Daily News]

• Sydney Mardi Gras has transformed The Only Gay in the Village Into an entire parade. [Sydney Mornign Herald]

• THe MSM is finally starting to pick up on the fact that Brokeback Mountain has cemented itself into pop culture, something the blogs have been all over for months now. [Reuters]

• A Church in Massachusetts wants to hang a giant banner above its front entrance supporting gay marriage. But this isn't any old church - it's the final resting place of two Presidents. Finally, a couple of Presidents who support same-sex marriage. [The Patriot Ledger via Towleroad]

Let's get this straight. Senator Hillary Clinton does not support gay marriage but does support civil unions. She also doesn't support a constitutional ban on gay marriage. All this has led to a lack of support of Hil from those queers at New York's Empire State Pride Agenda. They explain their anti-Hil stance:

"It will send a message to other elected officials that you can be working against us during this critical time and not suffer a negative pushback from the gay community," he said. "We have become a community that throws money at politicians, and we demand nothing in return. And that's what we get: nothing. It's the wrong message to send."

It should come as no surprise that Hil doesn't support gay marriage. Just look at the revolving door of badly permed hair that her husband thrust into their own marriage: Monica Lewinksy, Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones. She's saving us all from that lifetime of pain and ridicule.

That said, we have the perfect vice presidential candidate for Hil when she runs for the White House in 2008. It's another person who doesn't support gay marriage: Boy George.

On second thought, that ticket might just confuse voters.

Gay Rights Group Criticizes Senator Clinton's Stance on Same-Sex Marriage [NY Times]

We don’t know what’s gotten into Boy George lately but he seems to in the news as much as he was during his Culture Club days in the 80's. It could just be the need to generate buzz for a nonexistent career. Or, more likely, it could be blamed on the massive cocaine withdrawal he might be suffering at the moment. We’re sure his publicist is making sure his nostrils are free of any nose candy.

It seems the Boy isn't too keen on gay marriage. Wonder what fellow brit (and newlyood) Sir Elton John has to say about this.

"Gay unions, what is that all about? I haven't been invited to any ceremonies and I wouldn't go anyway. The idea that gay people have to mimic what obviously doesn't work for straight people anymore, I think is a bit tragic.

"I'm looking forward to gay divorces."

Well, that pessimistic attitude is no way to get yourself invited to what is sure to be the hottest ticket of the year: George Michael’s summertime wedding. But if the Boy is right and gays all over start filing for divorce in droves, we owe him a coke. Of course we mean Coca-Cola.

Boy George ridicules gay marriage [Pink News]

Since they're pretty much losing the battle against gay marriage, conservatives are now turning their attention toward banning gays& lesbians from adopting children. They're up and running with November ballot inititatives. Someone please save the children from The Gays! But there are already some surprisingly strange laws already on the books across the country. For example, single gays can adopt kids in Mississippi, but queer couple cannot. This is logical. Well, not really.

At least Utah is consistent. All unmarried couples (that includes straights!) are prevented from adopting.

But conservatives are already losing this battle, too. Last week a Missouri judge ruled a lesbian can be a foster mother. It may not be adoption per se, but it's certainly a step in that direction for the state.

Drives to ban gay adoption heat up in 16 states [USA Today]

Missouri judge says lesbian can be foster mom [The Advocate]

• Brits love Brokeback Mountain (and Jake Gyllenhaal) just as much as their neighbors across the pond. [Zap2it]

• The country's largest Catholic university is offering a minor in queer studies. This can only be considered progress if the required classroom textbook is not the Bible. [Newsweek]

• New Jersey doesn't define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. That means gay marriage may already be legal in that state. [NJ.com]

• Trannies are the new gay cowboys. [The Wichita Eagle]

• RIP Professor Dorius, a man who was run out of town by a bunch of old ditties just for looking at a few pretty pictures. [SF Gate]