• Speaking to visitors in Bethlehem, Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini (pictured) seemed to blast Pope Benedict XVI's recent edict insisting Catholic politicians vote according to Catholic ideology. Martini insisted, "The Church does not give orders... It is necessary to listen to others, and when speaking to use terms that they understand." Word. [Catholic World News]

• Gay rights v. human rights in Fiji. [Fiji Times]

• Jonny McGovern's up to his old tricks. And we do mean tricks. [Daily Motion]

• Hedi Slimane's furniture. [Reluct]

• This pleases us not: "New data released by the city's department of health show that the highest rates of new HIV infections are among gay men 35 to 49 years old." [Gay City News]

• Would we be better off ignoring Peter Pace's comments? [NY Blade]

• Staffers at London's Carlton Tower complain that Michael Jackson - who checked in under a woman's name - doesn't tip enough. Or, really, at all. What do they expect? He's broke. [Daily Mail]

• A South African journalist has come under fire after outing two restaurant owners. [Mamba Online]

• Rosie even answer interview questions in her patented poetics. Weird. [AfterEllen]

• Vermont's Senate passed a bill to protect against gender discrimination. [Rutland Herald]

Our gossip-obsessed cousin Mollygood reports that Michael Jackson made good on his miserly promise and charged fans $3500 a pop for a bit of face time.

MG wonders what kind of person would cough up so much dough to yuck it up with MJ. We know - they're obviously [insert adjective here].

• Friendly warning to America's Next Top Model's Nigel Barker - the kids from New Now Next have been stalking you. We don't think you're in any danger, but you may want to be careful when/how/where you do your stretches. Also, if some faggots ask you to spot them, throw the poor boys a bone. Especially if you're wearing short shorts. [New Now Next]

• Lance Bass is writing a memoir not-so-cleverly entitled Out of Sync. [Entertainment Tonight]

• Gawker wants you to rename it. [Gawker]

• Meanwhile, Bass' ex's (Reichen) ex and former Amazing Race contestant, Chip Arndt, hopes to raise 100,000 to fight AIDS. Cool, right? What's not so cool is that his correspondent MySpace page plays "Here Comes The Sun". What about Michael Jackson's Ryan White memorial tune, "Gone To Soon"? Too depressing? Okay, what about "You've Really Got Me" by The Kinks? Oh, wait... [MySpace]

• Largo's would-be city womanager Steve Stanton's still deciding whether to appeal his firing after announcing impending sex change. [St. Petersburg Times]

• No more gay only bars in England. Contrary to what you may think, this is a good thing... [Pink News UK]

• Universal Press Syndicate vows to continue publishing Ann Coulter's column. [TPM]

• No Idol for The View. [TMZ]

• Holy fucking shit!! Stonewall reopens in 5 days! OMG! We're totally hyperventilating! Hurry, someone remind us how much we don't care!! [NY Observer]

• Don't forget Good Times tonight at eastern bloc with guest DJ's Baby C and Sparber. Details and some pics from a previous installment, after the jump...

[Read On ...]

It's a week of change in the wild world of Michael Jackson. Not only does the scary singer have a fresh lawsuit to tackle, but now his older brother, the less talented, but just a freakish looking Jermaine, alleges that MJ may have found the Islamic light. A faithful follow of the Quar'n, JJ tells The Muslim News:

When I came back from Mecca I got him a lot of books and he asked me lots of things about my religion and I told him that it's peaceful and beautiful. He read everything and he was proud of me that I found something that would give me inner strength and peace.

I think it is most probable that Michael will convert to Islam. He could do so much, just like I am trying to do. Michael and I and the word of God, we could do so much.

(We would have posted a picture of Michael and Jermaine in their current guises, but we feared the potency of their utter freakishness would make you sterile. See? We have your best interest in mind.)

We know Michael Jackson's an easy target and all, but the lawsuit filed by the family of the late Manuela Gomez Ruiz really tests the legal imagination.

Apparently the gravely ill Ruiz got booted from the Marian Medical Centre's two-bed trauma unit after Michael Jackson came in for the flu . One day later Ruiz died of a heart attack. The family's lawsuit accuses Jackson and the hospital of intentional and negligent emotional distress, elderly abuse, false imprisonment and conspiracy.

Quite the charges, huh? Also sounds like a load of bullshit. They might as well be suing Jackson for a "Thriller" induced nightmare that "resulted" in a broken nail and subsequent (and very bloody) car crash ten years on...

Assault and vehicular homicide, anyone?

• HIV positive? Smoke weed everyday!

• Think HIV doesn't cause AIDS? You're "beyond stupid", says doctor who discovered HIV.

• Donating money to anti-gay-nup campaigns? "That's a waste", says allegedly gay Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

• Named Britney Spears? Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has some words for you.

• Looking to boost American Idol's fear factor? Hire Michael Jackson to "mentor" contestants.

• Banning Chisinau, Moldova's gay pride? That's illegal, says Supreme Court.

• Do you love us? Do you want us to win the 2007 Bloggie for best LGBT blog? Well, you should head over and vote for us. Seriously, dude, we want your vote. We want it more than we want anything in the entire world. Nay, universe.

• British rapper Q-Boy has signed on to present Channel 4's Coming Out To Class, a special "Gay Week" film about homophobia in schools. Other Gay Week specials include My Big Gay Prom and Mum's Gone Gay.

• Britain's Home Secretary and devout Catholic John Reid spoke out against anti-gay adoption Catholics, saying, "If you bring in a law which says all people will be treated equally, then all people will be treated equally." That's the smartest thing we've heard all week.

&bull, We're not sure which is worse: the fact that Michael Jackson's new album will be produced by Will.I.Am from The Black-Eyed Peas of news that it'll be released via internet.

• We're so grossed out, we just have to let the headline do the talking: "Over a third of gay men with anal infections reported no unprotected anal sex". Use condoms, fools!

• What does Wanda Sykes have to say about Isaiah Washington? Lots of funny shit.

No jokes here. Just pure Michael love.

Sure, we may love the Mark Foley scandal story, but we really love a good Michael Jackon's a big fucking weirdo story.

It seems Jackson's not content being known for his astonishing talent, alleged penchant for little boys, and keeping his children under black veils, now he's adding cross-dresser to his list of tabloid-ready insanity.

We've got nothing against cross-dressing, of course. We've been known to put on a pair of heels and march around with the best of them (one of the Queerty boys once performed "My Heart Belongs To Daddy" in a red-leather dress under his drag identity, Steamy Puddles), but Jackson really should have put a little more thought into this one. Unless, of course, he wants the entire world to continue making fun of him, which at this point must be getting a little old. Although, maybe he's into being punished and all that.

If that's the case, he probably has a huge erection right now. (Ew, did we really just make a reference to Michael Jackson's erect penis? We need to take a shower...)

• CDC says, "HIV Tests For Almost All Ages!" Yay! [Bloomberg News]

• Lesbian Fire Chief Under Fire! Ha! Don't worry folks, we're here all week! (But, seriously, discrimination ain't cool.) [365 Gay]

• Lesbian Mama Under Custody Fire! (Doesn't really translate, does it?) [The Advocate]

• Fashionista David Colman equates Alexander McQueen with Dracula. No, Not Really. [The New York Times]

• Gay Italians to Pope: Don't Forget We're Pissed, Too. [BBC News]

• Michael Jackson + Leprechauns = Theme Park? Lawyers everywhere are drooling. [Mollygood]

• After weeks and months of mounting pressure from conservative religious types, WorldPride 2006 is out of Jerusalem and will take over Tel Aviv. [Ynet]

• We weren't the only ones obsessed with the models walking down Paris' runways. [Made In Brazil]

• One of Queerty's best friends attending the opening of the world's largest bathhouse in Cleveland. Unfortunately, he didn't bring his camera. But one blogger did. [FAF]

• Michael Jackson had no idea – zero, people – he was in cahoots with a gay porn director. [Jossip]

• President Bush's top domestic policy advisor, Claude Allen--who likes to criticize political opponents for liking "queers"--was caught shoplifting at Target. Said the security guard: "Is that a Todd Oldham lamp in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Ba dum CHING! [SoVo]

• Liza With A 'Z': The Movie has been found! Apparently Liza misplaced it. Go figure. [Yahoo]

• Australia offers residency to domestic partners of "skilled labor" migrants. They're specifically interested in doctors. And we're guessing "gay blogger" doesn't count for anything. Damn it. [SSO]

• Polygamists are the new gays. [MSNBC]

• Michael Jackson is broke. You know, paying off child molestation victims doesn't come cheap. [Yahoo]

• Gay bathhouse owners filed suit to prove they are not "sex venues." What a relief! Every time we've been to a bathhouse, not a single guy has tried to have sex with us. [LA Times]