Porn mogul and editorial critic Michael Lucas has finally replicated his penis so that you too can experience the horror joy sensation of his well-publicized rod.

An authentic replica cast directly from his very own uncut shaft and balls, Michael Lucas' Official Dildo exquisitely details every vein and curve of his world-famous member.
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Michael Lucas' Official Dildo is made of non-toxic, hypo-allergenic silicone.

Despite our tagline (a catchy slogan at best, a marketing gimmick at worst), Queerty does not have an agenda beyond "entertain and inform our readers." That's true for Queerty, and the three other sites under the Jossip Initiatives umbrella.

Most of our readers understand as much. That's why they continue coming back. Michael Lucas, of porn company Lucas Entertainment, doesn't understand our appeal or our mission, which is made evident by his column in this week's New York Blade, where he goes on the attack against this site, myself, and Queerty's editor Andrew Belonsky.

It was a welcome surprise.

Despite the numerous emails and marketing materials we regularly receive from Michael, his business associates, and his company – evidence of a courtship, it might seem, or at least hopes of a marketing relationship – Michael claims he doesn't like this site.

That we regularly discuss Michael on the blog is evidence of his mark on gay culture. As he'll be the first to tell you (as he does with us, so I'm paraphrasing here), he started his business from the ground up, leveraged his porn career into a level of status among mainstream media, and speaks three languages. (Perhaps building my business from the ground up and leveraging my media rants into a level of status among mainstream media will forever be overshadowed by my only speaking 1.5 languages.)

Alas, his accomplishments deserve recognition.

They also make him a public figure.

And like Rosie, Lance, Reichen, and Ellen, gay public figures draw Queerty's attention — our praise, and our criticism. If we disallow the mainstream media from poking fun at or criticizing members of our own – they'd receive a stern letter from any number of gay rights organizations – who should have that right but the gay community itself? And while Queerty does not, by any measure, attempt to speak for the entire gay community, we're certainly a part of it, and command our say.

CONTINUED »

Michael Lucas knows you want to know every detail of his day. That's why the ageless porn mogul posted a very special rundown of his actions on May 8th, 2007. It's a pretty typical day. Lucas has breakfast with his boyfriend, runs his highly successful business and chats with a lovely German mag, EreXXXion. Nothing spectacular.

Until around the five o'clock mark. That's when things got heavy...

CONTINUED »

Porn mogul Michael Lucas does not approve of our preferred picture of him. Thus, he had flack Bryan Christopher - why do all gay Bryan's spell their name with a 'y'? - send us a small selection of Lucas-approved shots.

We're having a terrible time deciding on which one will become our new Michael Lucas-related visual. They're all just so Lucasrific! So, darling and opinionated reader, we need you to make the decision for us.

We've pasted the three pictures after the jump. All you have to do is tell us which one you prefer and it shall be done. Careful, though, Lucas' emotional range borders on stunning. You may not be able to look away. Kind of like Medusa. Only without the snakes. Hey, that could be a good look for Mr. Lucas, don't you agree? Maybe not for summer, though...

CONTINUED »

Michael Lucas certainly has cause to celebrate. The pouty-lipped porn mogul can continue distributing his porn epic, Michael Lucas' La Dolce Vita. You may recall International Media Films Inc. filed a lawsuit claiming Lucas' skin flick encroached on Federico Fellini's similarly named classic.

On Friday, a judge ruled in favor of Lucas, saying that [it] seems extremely unlikely that a hapless purchaser seeking to buy Fellini’s film will inadvertently stumble across ‘Michael Lucas’s La Dolce Vita.’ Reacting to the verdict, Lucas told Wall Street Journal's law blog,

From the beginning, this case has been more about anti-gay and anti-sex prejudice than about well-founded legal claims. I am thrilled about this ruling and I hope we can now get this whole unnecessary distraction behind us.

35-year old Lucas has also been celebrating his new column in The New York Blade. This week, Russian born Lucas spilled some ink on his favorite subject, "anti-semitism" in the gay community. Lucas opens by wondering why so many gays support Muslim causes:

I’m disturbed that the world gay community is increasingly anti-Israel... How can gay people side with the Muslims who want to kill the Israelis?

CONTINUED »

• Lisa Kudrow's a genius. The people who cancelled The Comeback are fools. That is all.

• Paris Hilton's dead, naked body never looked so educational. Artist Daniel Edwards has created a life-size sculpture to highlight the "disturbingly glamorized trend of Hollywood's girls gone wild", according to TMZ. In twenty year's time, Hilton's real body will be doing that on its own.

• Michael Lucas' former right hand, Heather "Reznor" Fink and her comedy troupe sure like meat. Especially in panties. And they say the porn industry doesn't fuck you up.

• Gene Robinson on New Hampshire's new civil union laws: "I think this moves us one step closer to the American promise to all its citizens of equality under the law. My partner and I look forward to taking full advantage of the new law." No more living in sin for those boys!

• Class Comics, Inc: totally NSFW gay superhero fun.

• Jim McGreevey and Dina Matos have "agreed" on joint custody of their daughter. Also, McGreevey's faggotry apparently is "not significant".

• Posh and Becks must be stopped.

• VH1 has made a career out of making New York's career.

• From PageOneQ: "[A] Bentonville, AR man is seeking $20,000 in damages and the firing of the town's top librarian, claiming his two sons were disturbed after stumbling upon The Whole Lesbian Sex Book in the town's public library." Only $20,000? Fuck, it's The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. That's a lot of information, definitely deserving of $25,000.

Who'd have thought 15 years ago that Al Sharpton—that guy in the jogging suit always hanging around Jesse Jackson—would have become a civil rights power broker responsible for taking radio veteran Don Imus off of broadcast airwaves? Well, he is now. Al got serious—and he got rid of those jogging suits. He stood up and presented himself to the public and to politicians as someone to be taken seriously.

That's essentially the thesis of an opinion piece porn star Michael Lucas has in this week's New York Blade, comparing Sharpton's response to Imus with our community's lack thereof in light of Ann Coulter's terming Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards a "faggot":

Imagine if a prominent person made an anti-black remark in front of a televised political conference. What would you think if you heard Al Sharpton say that the network had a responsibility to “consider” taking the person off the air? You would think Sharpton had suddenly turned into a wimp, and you would be right!

When Gays Don't Attack [New York Blade]

We hate to break it to you, but we may not get the joy of reading all about the ins and outs of Michael Lucas' porn empire. This morning we reported on NYDN's story that former flack Heather Fink (who once went by the name of Heather Reznor, which she trashed after leaving Lucas Entertainment) will be penning a tell-all about her porntastic tenure. Fink, however, insists that ain't the case.

In a comment posted on that story, Ms. Fink writes:

I am very sorry about the way this whole thing is being talked about. I made some jokes that were turned into something that seems a lot more serious and mean. Also, if I were to write a book about anything related to gay porn, it would be fictionalized based on my adventures in the industry- not a mean tell-all. So there's many inaccuracies in all this gossip.

As for the poop pictures- apparently that's true. Oh, Heather, you so crazy...

Michael Lucas sure has his hands full - and we're not talking cock here. Not only does the porn producer have that nasty copyright infringement lawsuit, but he's got a former assistant's proposed tell all to worry about.

Long-time staffer Heather Fink (who you may know by her nom de porn assistant: Heather Reznor) has announced plans to write a memoir of her time with good old Michael. Rush & Molloy report:

...Fink is writing a tell-all about her time in "the only industry where I was never sexually harassed - gay porn."

But Lucas, despite baring all of himself in flicks like "The Bigger the Better," is taking legal action to clamp his former mouthpiece. "There's a lot to tell," Fink told us. "My trip to the dildo factory; getting a crazy, incoherent phone call from Boy George the day before he was arrested, demanding that we messenger DVDs, that [Michael] wore underpants with butt padding. Layers of them."

If you think that revelation's ugly, apparently Fink's been sending Lucas pictures of doo-doo. That's right: straight up shit. Of his electronic love droppings, Lucas says she's acting like a scorned lover, insisting, "I don't want to deal with her at all, because of the obscenity of her E-mails. And the quantity of them. We were never lovers." No shit Sherlock.

The lawsuit and book are the least of Lucas' troubles, though - there've been mad rumors that another, rival porn company's on its way to NYC. More on that one later...

We sure hope Michael Lucas has a good lawyer. The porn star has now officially been served with papers over his latest fuck flick, Michael Lucas' La Dolce Vita's alleged infringement on Federico Fellini's classic and similarly named, La Dolce Vita.

We previously reported that International Media Films seeks unknown damages from the porn star formerly known as Andrei Treivas Bregman. Now a source tells us that three legal entities are getting worked over: Michael Lucas himself, Lucas Entertainment and Lucas Distribution. That's some deep, deep legal dickin'...

The same source also wonders about the movie's record breaking win at the GayVN:

Some say that people voted for him repeatedly simply to bring more attention to what he did. In other words, the more attention he gets (which he actually wants, btw), the more there's a chance of harsh legal action coming his way.

Okay, so Scarlett Johansson wasn't attacked by drag queens, but she was celebrated as Harvard's Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year. The Puddingers stand as the nation's oldest undergraduate theater troupe, so rest assured none of them will be enrolling in Michael Lucas films anytime soon. Unless, of course, they're like Teddy Prince.

Of the honor, Ms. Johansson had this to say:

Thank you so much for this fabulous golden pot. It's been such a wonderful day. This is the closest I'll ever get to a Harvard degree... I can't wait till later tonight when we party.

Sure, we love fashion week, but we're far more interested in the parties than the shows themselves. Seriously who wants to sit around in a crowded tent just to watch better looking people trotting around in clothes you can't afford? Snoozefest! That is, of course, if you can get a seat, which apparently you couldn't at Heatherette's Wizard of Oz themed show, according to the kids over at New York Magazine (really the Go Fug Yourself girls in disguise).

They saw the danger straight away, writing:

The first bad sign was the throng of people — many waving invitations — thwarted from simply getting inside the tent, period. Egregiously, the adorable, aged, venerated photographer Bill Cunningham was outside in the freezing cold.

From this day forward, we'll never, ever attend another fashion show - unless, of course, we get richer and/or better looking. But, we suppose we'd rather just get richer, then we can make ourselves better looking. Hey, it worked for Michael Lucas. Oh, wait, no it didn't. Okay, we stand by our original statement...