There was a point in our lives when we hoped to look like British model Sam Saffman. Then we realized we'll never look like him. Not in a million years, really.

We'll never model for Dolce & Gabbana. We don't have a finely tuned abdomen, nor do our lips curve in such a sumptuous manner. And we've yet to master that come hither stare and Ford Models certainly wouldn't take us on.

So, what can we do? We can exploit Sam Saffman. And, really, isn't that what life's all about? Be a part of human tradition, after the jump...