Homo actor Rupert Everett pumping his new autobiography and chatting about fame, fairy wings and why Hollywood smells like man.

Plus: special Naomi Campbell pictorial cameo and obligatory phone throwing joke!

(Elisabeth Hasselbeck wants his cock.)

We totally forgot about DJ Shadow until a few minutes ago when a friend suggested we post the video for his single, "This Time (I'm Gonna Try It My Way)". Our reaction, "Crikey! How could we forget about DJ Shadow?" To which our friend replied, "Have you seen Naomi Campbell recently" and then it all came rushing back to us. But, we'll save the gory details for our therapist.

We haven't heard Shadow's most recent offering, The Outsider. Taking a cursory look at the reviews, it's not that great. We do, however, j'adore this song. Apparently Shadow and his record label asked fans to make their own videos. This one's not the winner (we've included the winner after the jump), but we think it's totally radical (it reminds us of our youth...don't ask), so we're giving it a chance to shine.

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Fucking Naomi Campbell must have the best guardian angel ever. Despite the fact that she's atttacked no less than four assistants, the vicious model got a mere five days community service for throwing her crystal-encrusted Blackberry at her main, Ana. Appearing in Manhattan court yesterday, Campbell "apologized", saying: "I am very sorry... The cell phone hit Ana. This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her." We're sure she meant to say, "I'm sorry I didn't knock that bitch out, fucking incompetent maid. Oooo, if I get my hands on her!"

The judge ordered Campbell to pay $363 in medical expenses and serve five days of community service. Her lawyer successfully argued for an indoor service, saying he worried about Campbell's "security". Um, right. Who in their right mind's going to try to fuck with Naomi Campbell? You'd have to be a complete moron to tussle with that girl. She'd totally rip you apart and strut all over the itty-bitty pieces. And then eat them.

Naomi Campbell has yet again managed to get arrested for assault, bringing her grand total to nine violence-related arrests in eight years.

You may recall that the model landed in hot water after throwing her crystal-embedded phone at an assistant. Her latest victim comes in the form of her drug councilor. The Daily Mail reports:

Naomi Campbell was held for 12 hours in a police cell before being questioned over an alleged assault.

The 36-year-old supermodel had to sleep off jet lag after being arrested for allegedly scratching the face of her drugs therapist.

Miss Campbell was questioned by officers after her counsellor walked into a police station with blood-red marks down both her cheeks.

We can only assume that Campbell had a yen for a bit of bloe and confused her drug therapist with her drug dealer. It's a common mistake, but an unfortunate one considering that the super model has a hearing here in New York next month for the aforementioned cell phone incident.

Don't worry, she'll throw some cash around and get out of it like she always does...

Take action! Speak out! We want to hear from you, the Queerty reader. Okay, there's no social significance, we just think it's really funny when famous people act like maniacs. And we're not in their line of fire.

For today's question:

Who is scarier: George Michael behind the wheel of a car, or an angry Naomi Campbell holding a cell phone?

Post your comments below, or email them to holla@queerty.com.

• Mo'Nique loves the gays and we love her so much too. Please go see Phat Girlz. [Rod2.0]

• And essay on BET's Down Low Exposed special, through the eyes of a person with HIV. [AfterElton]

• MK at Popbytes is just beside himself about Whitney Houston. Witness the meltdown--a.k.a., "The Gayest Blog Post Ever." [Popbytes]

• Drag queens have hit the pages of The New York Times Magazine: an exclusive on TrannieGear.com. The world needs to know these things. [PAYOR]

• Gay icon Lindsay Lohan gets booted from the Louis Vuitton campaign, in favor of cell-phone warrior gay icon Naomi Campbell. Apparently her good friend Robert Duffy, President of LV designer Marc Jacobs Int'l, knows she needs the work to pay her upcoming legal bills. [FemaleFirst]

• Madonna's tour is going to be quite the swanky affair. [WOWReport]

We rushed to Bryant Park on Friday with our photographer Randy and arrived late for the Heatherette show. Upon noticing the world's first blog star approaching, security whisked us in backstage. We ran to make it to our seats, but the show had started already. It looked like we had to remain backstage the entire show. Which is not a bad thing when surrounded by Amanda Lepore, Brandywine, Naomi Campbell, Kelly Osbourne, JC Chasez, Lizzie Grubman, Lydia Hearst, Nicky Hilton, Michael Lucas, Patrick McMullan, Tinsley Mortimer, and Zach Augustine. Richie and Traver's show was a hit. And yes, Naomi does look that good up close.

More exclusive pics after the jump.

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