The American Family Association, those demigods of familial values, has just released an edict urging their members to boycott Wal-Mart over its alliance with National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Insisting that said alliance furthers gay causes (or, as Shirley Phelps Roper would say, are "fag-enablers"), the AFA hopes to run Wal-Mart out of business. 365 Gay reports:

Randy Sharp, AFA's director of special projects said he did an online search of Walmart.com using such terms as "gay," "lesbian," "transgender," "bisexual," and "gay marriage".

"They'll come up with hundreds, sometimes even thousands of products relating to homosexuality [and promotion of] the agenda of the homosexual community," Sharp told Christian publication Agape.

AFA is calling "on Christian consumers to spend their dollars elsewhere as a sign of their displeasure with Wal-Mart's pro-homosexual leanings."

We've never thought of Wal-Mart as particularly gay, so to test out the Sharp's theory, we made a list of "gay" things to see if we could find them. And, you know what? We found every last one of them!

So, what was on our list? Poppers, industrial sized butt plug, a goat, "Family" sized Vaseline, barely legal hookers, Mark Foley, crystal meth, spiked necklace, rubber gloves, a gerbil, a gerbil wheel (don't ask), plastic wrap, a clown mask, and Saltines (we've got a sensitive tummy).

There you have it folks, Wal-Mart's a way better place to get your supplies for your next gay orgy than that dumb ol' sex shop.