Your self-righteousness is rubbish.

The responsibility to protect lies with each individual. I got infected because I foolishly had unprotected sex with another person on 12/31/1993. Whether he knew he was infected or not is irrelevant. I knew beforehand how the virus was transmitted; nevertheless, when I discovered my box of condoms was empty, we did it anyway. I don't hold him responsible for infecting me, hell I had already forgotten his name by the time we did the deed. I was responsible not he.

Honestly, anyone who attends a bareback orgy and thinks they are not taking a huge risk is either stupid has lived on a desert island for much of their lives. If they were raped, that's one thing, but it sounds to me like they willingly gave it up.

I have had sex with quite a few since I was diagnosed. Amazingly, I have been approached many times by silly men and boys who want to have sex with me without a condom. After first explaining to them what living with HIV entails (conversion sickness, money, doctors, lifestyle changes for the drugs, side effects, etc.), I send them on their way. I don't pretend to understand why someone would want to be infected, but there are more than a few who do.

If it's true, the guy's a scumbag. The difference between him and Rob is that Rob is having sex with guys, sometimes by their choice unprotected. They're idiots, but he's not going out knowingly to infect people like this guy (if allegations are true). remind of Patient Zero in Shilts' book: has sex in dark in bathhouse, turns on light with lesions, tells guy "I have gay cancer. Now you'll get it, too."

Rob, I applaud your honesty and integrity in dealing with being HIV+ and the idiots who don't seem to know better. I also applaud that you don't blame the guy who infected you, and take personal responsibility for your actions.

But don't you see? You are exactly the person your infector should have been. We all share dual responsibilty for the spread of (or prevention of) HIV. It's the responsibility of those who are not infected to practice safe sex, and the responsibility of those infected to inform their partners of their status. (Gold star for you both further educating them and then turning them away.)

Saying "well he didn't ask, so he must have wanted it/was willing to risk it/or didn't care" is no excuse. It's a type of self-serving justification that wouldn't fly for any other situation wherein you witness or allow someone to harm themselves. As much as we like to deny it, in a civil society we are our brother's keeper.

Making it a criminal offense for someone who is HIV positive knowingly to have consensual unprotected sex with another is foolish and counter-productive. I strongly believe in individual responsibility. When someone ignores the signs that state one should not ride a bicycle on a freeway, do we arrest the driver who hits the cyclist? It might be a civil matter, but hardly criminal.

I choose not to infect someone if I can prevent it, but each of us has the responsibility to be prepared. It's just like pregnancy in a sense. If a man and woman have consensual sex, is it the woman's sole responsibility to make sure pregnancy doesn't result? When I was in high school and college before AIDS, I never took a girl's word that she was taking the pill. I absolutely didn't want to be a father at that stage of my life.