We've never understood the argument that anal sex isn't natural. Seriously - have these anal attackers ever even done it in the poop chute? It's a perfect fit! Unless, of course, you're sleeping with some loosey-goosey gutter slut.

Regardless, the Utah legislature continues to toe the anti-sodomy line: they've just voted to uphold the state's anachronistic laws against so-called deviant sexual practices. Well, as far as gay couples are concerned. Only married hetero couples are allowed to get down and dirty. Openly gay Senator Scott McCoy attempted to repeal the law, but the ruling GOP refused to comply. Or even debate. Of their staunch conservative stance, McCoy mused:

I have a hard time understanding how the state could say we have an interest in the sex, in the intimate associations of two unmarried persons, but we don’t have an interest in the intimate associations of two married people. It’s black or white. It’s the exact same action. What’s the difference if it’s done in a married relationship? There’s no rational distinction between those two settings.

The rational, of course, lies in many of the lawmaker's religious leanings and the fact that they think homos will burn in hell for all eternity. Unfortunately, not all the politicians could find the words to describe their aversion. "If you have to ask why sodomy should be illegal in Utah..." Senate Majority leader Curt Bramble said before trailing off and continuing, "...Because I believe sodomy should be illegal in Utah.” Oh, well, he must think he's the voice of God, or something.