Wow. Just over two weeks into 2007 and already the nation has a story around which (almost) everyone can rally. By now you’ve heard the distressing story of Yale’s Baker’s Dozen: the aurally-inclined boys who marked the New Year by getting the tar beat out of them by a bunch of San Francisco thugs. In case you’ve missed it, the boys were in town performing one of their famed concerts. At a party later in the night, they decided to get a sassy with an a cappella version of the beloved patriotic anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner”. It’s at this point that what would have otherwise would have been a night of celebration sparked what would become a news explosion - or, rather, ejaculation...

The alleged aforementioned thug: a one Dick Aicardi reportedly didn’t take to their entertainment and verbally threatened them. 18-year old victim Sharyar Aziz Jr – a name with which you’re soon to be familiar – recalls the inaugural altercation with Aicardi, “You're not welcome here,' he called a few members of the group, whether it was fag or homo, very, I would say, juvenile taunting." Witnesses say Aicaidi then called in some back-up and proceeded to beat Aziz and his choral comrades. Aziz ended up needing a three-hour surgery for his jaw, which had been broken in two places.

Now, we have two big fan flamers right there: "The Star Spangled Banner" and homophobic vernacular. The first outlet from which we heard of this story highlighted the latter, a trend that would spread through gay media. Edge Massachusetts opens its story thus:

Members of renowned all-male singing group from Yale University say they were taunted with anti-gay slurs, attacked and beaten after singing at a New Year’s Eve party in San Francisco.

Alright, that’s factual enough. Consider the headline, however: “Men’s Singing Group Beaten in Anti-Gay Attack”. This, of course, raises the question of motivation. Did Aicardi and company take issue with the singer’s perceived faggotry? That’s a matter of opinion.

Fox News’ Sean Hannity zeroed in on the musical introduction. After interviewing Aziz last Thursday, Hannity fumed:

And you know, I want to get these people that did this to you, and I hope - working with your attorney and the detectives out there that we're able to find them. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to offer a $10,000 reward for anybody that will come and testify that as a witness to this, to help get these people - you know, America is still a country where you can sing the national anthem and not be attacked viciously like this, and cruelly like this.

Sure, it’s great to support the country and all that, but that’s some serious dough right there. Hannity’s response should come as no surprise: he's an unabashed patriot. But, being the (nearly) perfect story, conspiracy theories abound.

Some speculate Hannity’s motivated not by a love of our country, but by his equally homophobic ideology. Writing on Thursday’s interview, Newshound journo Marie Therese points out that Aziz never mentions the anti-gay aspect. In her mind, Hannity purposefully avoided that pitch:

...When Hannity asked the victim... "Did you get any indication what it was about?," the young man's answer deliberately omitted any reference to the words "fag" and "homo", which local media here in the Bay Area have reported were the generative reason for the attack.

"Truth be told, I couldn't tell you what was going through their minds, what it was that made them feel, you know, that a call needed to be made," Aziz answered. " ... I couldn't tell you what was the trigger, the initial trigger, what it was ..."

Hannity jumped in to say "It seems related to the Anthem. Do you think it is?" …When it became clear that Aziz was struggling, Hannity spoke up to compliment [sic] him.

It's at this point that Hannity upped the sensational ante with his reward.

On the surface it seems as if Hannity’s simply pumping some patriotic muscle, but in an updated version of the article Therese wonders:

…It dawned on me that the reason Sean Hannity and Fox News have gotten involved in this case is that Gavin Newsom is running for re-election next fall.

Conservative America would like nothing better than to see the man who authorized gay marriage go down to defeat.

It is no coincidence that FOX News' footprints are all over this story.

Kimberly Guilfoyle, Newsom's ex-wife, works as a host for FOX News' weekend edition of Big Story and is also a Fox News legal analyst.

Wow, that's quite a hypothesis: jilted ex-wife employs conservative newsie to take-out civil rights-endorsing mayor. Of course, taking out the mayor would send a powerful message – Newsom did, after all, authorize illegal gay marriages back in 2004, thus proving himself a thorn in the anti-same-sex side - but it seems a bit far-fetched, all the better for this sensational story.

While Hannity may or may not be trying to take out handsome Newsom, The Baker’s Dozen themselves are none-too-pleased over what they say to be his insensitive comments. When about the attacks by San Francisco ABC affiliate KGO-TV, Newsom responded:

I don't think it's good for the city, to answer your question, obviously it's not. But there's still a lot of questions I have. Why were these kids -- they're all under age -- why were they in a home with a lot of liquor? How'd they get the liquor? What the heck were they doing down there? Why is everyone hiring an attorney? Who's culpable, who's not?

To this, the Yalie’s lawyer Matt Gonzalez of Gonzalez & Leigh curtly replied,

I don't know why the mayor wants to blame the victims at the outset. He has this incredible tolerance for bad police work, but wants to speculate about what these young men were doing.

Ah, yes, the police: another group that’s come under fire. Everyone can agree they’ve botched the investigation, not least of all Aziz’s wealthy parents. They allege Aicardi’s own social prominence affords him preferential treatment:

There is some suggestion that at least one of these boys has been in trouble with the law before, and family influence prevented him from being charged… [They want to] insure that all crimes are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, local politics and influence notwithstanding.

So, not only do we have a possible hate-crime, an incompetent police force, a scandalous mayor who may or may not be targeted for his past political record and anti-American potential, but there’s also a healthy dose of class politics. Then, on top of it, some say that intra-Catholic prep school conflicts helped fuel the fire: Aicardi attended a rival school many of the party’s attendants. Delicious!

Even the hosts of the party - Reno Rapagnani and his wife, Leanna Dawydiak – have caused a bit of controversy: both clocked time on the SFPD and Rapagnani also served as a mayoral bodyguard. San Francisco Chronicle’s Andrew Ross and Phillip Matier report the couple have a tenuous relationship with the force. The booze at the party, meanwhile, has spurred Newsom to question Rapagnani’s judgement, leading Rapagnani to fire back at the mayor.

All this story needs is a bit of racial profiling and we’d have the perfect journalistic storm. So far there’s no confirmed reason for the attack other than senseless violence, nor have any arrests been made - thus leaving ample space for speculation. And, as media’s wont to do, it agrees to take the ball and run. As Scott Herold writes for The Mercury News, "…There is no such thing as an objective rendition of the facts. Before you believe any of us storytellers, consider the source."

Here's another truth: it sure is fun to sit back and watch the fireworks.