• A retired Anglican archbishop has been officially censured after he married some lesbos. Oh, please, isn't the fact that he'll burn in hell enough? [BBC News]

• It may only be October, but you best be thinking about spring. Hopefully this will help. [men.style.com]

• Headline: "Gays Stand To Gain If Dems Win House." Duh. [The New York Blade]

• See how progress on Michael Lucas' new movie, La Dolce Vita, is going. If you don't, you're a prude. If you do, you're a perv. [La Dolce Vita]

• RI AG says Mass. marriages not valid. Yeah, we saw that one coming. [The New York Times]

• The Foley IM transcript. We don't recommend you eat before reading it. [Jossip]

• Nip/Tuck creator penning show on trannie sportswriter. Brad Pitt's signed on as producer. Oh, he's so progressive. [The Advocate]

As if Nip/Tuck's new season isn't star studded enough with the addition of Mario Lopez as a homo, Access Hollywood, the leader of great journalism, just announced that once-promising singer, Alanis Morissette just signed on to guest star as a lezzie. Morrissette will appear in three episodes as the lover of Dr. Liz Cruz, whose played by Roma Maffia.

Don't quote us on this, but we have a feeling Morissette has a little practice as a labia lover. She was, after all, a big star during the 90s and all feminist and the such. Yeah, she's probably gone down under a few times. She looks like she'd be good at it, too.

http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah1556.shtml [Access Hollywood]

More hotness seeps from Nip/Tuck, where just last week came news (and photos) of a guest appearance by Mario Lopez — playing an "infuriatingly fit" plastic surgeon who's rumored to get it on with Dr. Christian in the locker room. Add to the list of cable-ready jerkoff TV a scene where Christian has a mother-daughter encounter and Thad Luckinbill of The Young & The Restless stopping by the showers for some rear nudity. Forgive us our lust, but Nip/Tuck has always been at the forefront of leveling the gender playing field for on-camera sex and nudity.

You're Booty-ful [PITNB]
Earlier: Super Mario Meets Nip/Tuck

Though Julian McMahon's Nip/Tuck character Christian wasn't willing to go all the way in his threeway romp with Bruno Campus' Quentin character, this coming season rumor has it Christian is ready to go all the way — with Mario Lopez. The "homoerotic encounter" between the sex maniac and Lopez's "infuriatingly fit" plastic surgeon character is set to take place in the gym showers. Lucky for you, caps from the scenes are already available. There's more after the jump.

Mario Lopez in the Shower on Nip/Tuck [Most Proper, via]

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• Here's what you fags have been waiting for all season: the new Abercrombie & Fitch catalog! [Trent]

• There are lots of gay options on the tube tonight. Once you're done watching Will & Grace's live episode, head on over to ABC to see how well Fred Savage handles being a closet-case in Crumbs. [Crumbs] [Will & Grace]

• ABC gets all gay-friendly by airing a PSA starring a couple of soap stars speaking out against homophobia. [Mediaweek]

• Ever the progressive thinker, the Pope calls gay unions not a "casual, sociological entity" but "a question of the correct relationship between a man and a woman." [ABC News]

• The peeps over at Dolce & Gabbana watch way too much Nip/Tuck. [Towleroad]

• Spokane has a new mayor since ousting James West from office. No word yet on the new guy's online chat room habits. [The Olympian]

• Martha Stewart fires one last contestant tonight. You must watch because this is the show's last episode. Ever. [The Apprentice: Martha Stewart Offical Site]

• Speaking of finales, if you missed last night's Nip/Tuck and want to find out the identity of the Carver, just click the link. All we'll say is "ew." [Zap2it]

• Some people just refuse to let the whole Ford thing die. [Good As You]

• Hot on the heels of the gay civil union ceremonies in the UK this week, Aussies are asking for "marriages" of their own. [Sydney Morning Herald]

• We finally learn the identity of that Julius McMahon-raping, Bruno Campos-cutting Carver in tonight's Nip/Tuck season finale. We've endured a very drawn out storyline and we better not be disappointed. [Zap2it]

• A Taiwanese singer seems more upset about the gay rumors besieging him than Kenny Chesney and his "fraud." [CRI Online]

• Civil Unions finally reach the rest of the UK tomorrow. That means Elton John and David Furnish's big day is finally here. We can't wait. [Breitbart]

• Indianapolis finally gets around to banning discrimination based on sexual orientation. Go Hoosiers! [Indy Star]

• We're not advocating taking any drug before having unsafe sex no matter what. Not until further testing. Use a rubber, people. [Advocate]

Bruno Campos plays the asshole, cokehead, and bisexual surgeon on Nip/Tuck. We have a sneaking suspicion though that he is The Carver. We'll find out on next week's season finale.

Bruno Campos [IMDB]
The Carver Official Profile [Myspace]

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Even the fact that his character on Nip/Tuck has become a skinhead Nazi can't stop us from thinking that John Hensley is the cutest thing on TV. He is that hot.

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Joan Rivers is still the hardest working and funniest comedian in the biz today. And the gays love her. She is performing Wednesdays at the Cutting Room to a very gay crowd from November 9-December 21. Recently the grand dame of comedy chatted with Bradford Shellhammer, dishing on Star Jones, Liz Taylor, and the Olsen Twins.

We just saw the last Nip/Tuck and screamed like sissies when we saw you as a guest. How did you get involved in the show and what do you think of it?
Plastic surgery is my life. I just gave my parrot a beak job. Please write and e-mail Nip/Tuck and tell them you want to see more of me.

You are a huge gay icon. I think mostly because of your direct nature and honesty. Did you intentionally seek out support of the gay community? If not, why do you think we love you so much?
I don't know why gays love me because I hate them. Who are you people and do your mothers know what you do!?! I am all for gay marriage, though. Why should only straights suffer the misery of divorce.

Recently, we saw an old Saturday Night Live that you hosted in the 1980s. You were sooooo mean to Liz Taylor. And soooo funny. Do you have any current Liz jokes you can share?
Since she started working so hard for AIDS with amfAR I've taken all of the jokes about that fat, old drunk out of my act. Besides, since she is almost at death's door, I'm hoping to be mentioned in that liquor stained will.

Who would win in a fist fight, Kathy Griffin or Margaret Cho?
I'm much more interested in which Williams sister would win.

Tell us about your Cutting Room shows. What can our readers expect to see?
If I show up to perform at the Cutting Room, you'll probably get a pretty mediocre show as I am getting quite old and tend to repeat jokes 2 or 3 times. If you do come, bring rubber gloves as Chlamydia is rampant. Also be warned that most employees at the Cutting Room are dyslexics and wash their hands before entering the restroom.

After the jump Joan explains how a gay man can get away with wearing a necklace, the absolute worst red carpet outfit, and why she hates blogs, oops, we mean clogs.

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What does an actor do when they move to NYC to make it and absolutely nothing happens? They pick up their Prada and move to Los Angeles of course! Willam Belli did just that, however it was not until he started doing drag that his career took off. Next week Willam will be featured on the cult series Nip/Tuck where he promises "hot tranny love and a beatdown." Our TiVo is already set.

Willam also has a blog we recommend checking out. Having appeared on shows ranging from The Shield to Sex and the City to Eve, this tranny has done enough small parts and is set for the big time. Willam tells us "one day, I hope to live la vida Lohan and appear on these wonderful sites like Queerty with all y'all discussing what a hot mess I am. It's all about goals, kids."

For someone who claims "I don't wait tables, I'm not a hooker, and I don't do extra work. The only reason I'm successful as an actor is poor doesn't agree with my sensibilities (like dairy). Seriously...I'd rather eat pussy than Ramen noodles," we hope a starring role is just around the corner.

And for the record. We'd eat the Ramen.