The Oscars sure were lesbianic, huh? We had Ellen hosting, Jodie scowling, Portia vamping, Melissa singing and winning.

One would think that Hollywood had become one big lesbian meet-and-greet. According to uber-fashionista and known homosexual, Simon Doonan, it has.

And what's more, we should have seen it coming.

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Just when you thought the Oscars were over, here's some footage from Ellen the show detailing Ellen the person's backstage adventures at the big event.

Not only do you get to see such mega-stars as Cate Blanchett and Queen Latifah giving the old girl some love, but you'll see Ellen having an excited breakdown before things get rolling.

If it were anyone else but Ellen, we'd probably make some snarky comment. But, since it is Ellen - one of our fave faves - we'll just say we're happy she's lived her dream.

Now suck it up, girl!

After winning an Oscar for the mind-bogglingly boring, "I Need To Wake Up" from An Inconvenient Truth, lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge told reporters: This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.

Ms. E also expressed her shock and dismay over beating out Dreamgirls:

Dreamgirls is what music and movies are about. It's a musical, and it's what I grew up loving. Had there not been three songs...you might be talking to a different person here.

But, congratulations anyway...

Watching the Oscar red carpet madness gives us such a headache. We can't keep track of who's who, what they're doing there and why we should care.

The kids over at E! were certainly no help - not only did they not seem to know the answers to those pressing questions, they didn't seem to give two shits. The complete and utter stupidity of Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana Depandi and homo extraordinaire Jay Manuel from America's Next Top Model was only eclipsed by former The View co-host Debbie Manopoulos. When asked how she stays so thin, she said "I don't eat". The duo over at ABC weren't any better and Joan and Melissa Rivers on TV Guide really couldn't hold our attention.

As hard as it may be to believe, the only person we could focus on in the celebrity cluster fuck was Sally Kirkland. Coincidentally enough, her reality defying, rabbi designed dress seems to be made from the rainbow flag. Thus, she's our Oscar patron saint.

So, round of applause for Ms. Kirkland. Crazy's never looked so good. Or so disturbing.

See some more red carpet shots, after the jump...

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We never doubted for a second that Ellen Degeneres would do a bang-up job hosting the Oscars. She does, after all, have a bit of hosting experience.

Ms. D made history as the first lesbian to host the Oscars, an especially magnificent milestone considering all the homophobic dialogue as of late. With regard to those scandals and other discriminatory diatribes, Ellen had this to say:

If there were no blacks, Jews and gays, there'd be no Oscars.

We know you guys totally love Jennifer Hudson, so we thought we'd pass along some Annie Leibovitz pictures of her from this month's Vogue. When we say "some", we mean three - we wish we could give you more, but they're totally being chintzy. We can, however, offer you this link, through which you can watch the video of Ms. Hudson chatting with Andre Leon Talley.

(In case you missed it, here's the link to our video of Ellen getting all glam and shit for W. It's like an Oscar siren explosion up in this piece!)

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Funny girl Ellen Degeneres received some good news yesterday: she's been picked to host this year's Academy Awards, which air February 25th. With the Grammy's and the Emmy's under her belt, Degeneres certainly has the experience necessary to keep unruly celebrities in line. And, no doubt, in stitches. Of her selection, Degeneres said:

When [producer] Laura Ziskin called, I was thrilled...There's two things I've always wanted to do in my life. One is to host the Oscars. The second is to get a call from Laura Ziskin. You can imagine that day's diary entry.

Ellen Degeneres Tapped to Host Oscars [ABC News]

• Chokeback Mountain didn’t win the big award. But you can download the short story for free over at AOL. The narrator is hottie Campbell Scott. [Audible]

• Madonna is set to do The Simpsons. [D Listed]

• Don’t Worry. Andy Towle did not commit suicide like many believed he would after hearing the news of Crash’s victory. [Towleroad]

• We’re amongst good company in the latest issue of Cybersocket. [Cybersocket]

• Kia’s pissed. And funny. [Exceptional Mediocrity]

We popped on to iTunes today and were given a wonderful surprise. Dolly Parton’s Oscar nominated song “Travelin' Thru” is available as a free download. It is sassy and uplifting and it just made our morning.

Pop over to iTunes and get it. Also, check out Transamerica if you haven’t. And don’t miss Dolly performing “Travelin' Thru” Sunday night. Her gown is sure to be as over the top as her persona.

Besides being a triumph for cinema, a Brokeback Mountain win at the Academy Awards could also mean a lot for the gay community. Any film that wins Best Picture immediately gets a box office boost, and more cheeks in those seats means more people that are shown the light on gay rights.

But Crash’s recent win at the SAG awards over Brokeback has some gays we’ve talked to a little scared. Why? Because SAG members make up the largest voting block of the academy.

Let’s just hope the Academy has more sense than those actors (you’ve dated one, you know what they’re like) and give Brokeback top honors. Not only is it a far better film than Crash (which seems to inspire awe in some of our friends and seething vile in others) Brokeback Mountain is a movie that has the rare ability to actual change people’s minds – for the better.

The 78th Annual Academy Awards Nominations [Official Site]
Screen Actors Guild Awards Winners [CBS]