• Just weeks before he's to be sentenced for driving under the influence, British pop star George Michael has admitted he's addicted to drugs, but once again took some time to praise pot:

[My arrest] involves prescribed drugs and it involves a dependency on them and the tendency to chase one drug with another because of side effects.
...
We could sit here with any number of policemen and doctors and they would all tell you if everybody who had a dependence on alcohol changed their mind and had a dependence on weed, the world would be a much easier place to live in.

We weep at your eloquence, dude...

• Warsaw mayor Hanna Gronkiewicz Walz took a stand against the homophobic government and said the town's Gay Pride will go on! We wonder what President Lech Kaczyński will have to say. Probably something in Polish. And not pleasant.

• Julie Enzer has something to say, "Gay Pride is not just poppers and blowjobs!" Only Enzer's version's a little longer. And persuasive.

• Anne Heche's soon-to-be ex-husband alleges the actress "has at times exhibited bizarre and delusional behavior". He obviously missed that whole alien abduction thing...

• Pam Anderson pissed off some paparazzi in Cannes. Apparently they were upset her tits showed up late for the red carpet and bounced away before striking properly perky poses. Poor paparazzi...

• It's just like the 400-pound gorilla in the room, only it's a 400-pound gorilla on the loose! A witness remarked, "Everyone was in panic, running away, screaming, wailing, screaming kids running around, I don't know what all, kids without parents—it was a total drama." Kids without parents and a 400-pound gorilla? That's not drama. That's some shit....

• Need to learn how to give a hand job? Click here.

It’s been years since male model Swedish Marcus Schenkenberg ruled the runway. But this cultural irrelevance hasn’t stopped The Local’s Paul O'Mahony from devoting this irreverently informative, unnecessarily schizoid “Introducing…” column to 38-year old Schenkenberg.

In addition to proving those essential introductory details – dated Pam Anderson, fucks mad reality hoes and likes PeTA – O’Mahony informs us that Schenkenberg has recorded a Ricky Martin-flavored single:

...The muscular Swede with the Dutch ancestry also released a single. For a man purported to speak five languages - none of them Spanish - the decision to release a song called “La Chica Marita” had more to do with the success of Ricky Martin-inspired Latino pop than his own fondness for some chica called Marita.

This shit’s anything but caliente. In fact, it’s frio. Muy, muy frio. Whomever told Schenkenberg he should sing, dance or even speak must be tracked down and punished. Seriously. This video counts as the top-five worst things in human history. Even worse than racism and genocide. That’s bad.

Check it out, after the jump. Unless you want to maintain your Marcus-related masturbatory fantasies, in which case we don’t advise viewing “La Chica Marita”...

CONTINUED »

Via Dial The Operator who, in turn, lifted it from Popbitch comes the totally unsubstantiated rumor that homo-photog David LaChapelle's so afraid of the killer bird flu, he's bought a compound in Hawaii:

David is convinced Avian flu is going to wipe out most of earth's population, but that the only safe place will be Hawaii. LaChapelle has bought a former nudist colony on Maui and is hoping to turn it into a bunker for all his friends, like Pamela Anderson. LaChapelle also likes to break wind loudly.

We're not sure we understand the logic here. Does Mr. L think birds don't exist in Hawaii or that it's too far for them to fly? Regardless, we've a feeling that in the unlikely change that a bird flu pandemic extinguishes the burning rash that is humanity, it gonna get you, too, David.

Unless, of course, you let loose on continuous fart, in which case you're totally cool.

Your really must run out right now and get the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson Uncensored! We’d missed it when it originally aired, but since its release on DVD we’ve been unable to pull ourselves away from the television.

Bea Arthur reads from Anderson’s book Star Struck and deadpans a passage on anal sex. Courtney Love is a glorious mess, slurring words and falling down. Lady Bunny, repeated jokes about Andy Dick’s sexuality and Tommy Lee’s pecker size round out what may be the funniest 80 minutes ever captured on a DVD.

It’s great to see celebrities not taking themselves too seriously, dishing like real people, and being funny, not contrived.

Roast Anderson [Comedy Central]

Fabulous Pamela Anderson’s sexy pole-dance to the song "The Bitch is Back" sung by Elton John for his NBC special Elton John: The Red Piano at Caesars Palace has been axed by the network brass. Pam appeared gyrating alongside a stripper pole on a giant video screen as he belted out his signature tune.

"We believed the content was not appropriate for 8 p.m.-7 central time and decided to pull the song from the special," NBC said in a statement Tuesday.

Curiously, the gay parts of the night, Elton John just being himself and Justin Timberlake appearing as a young Elton, will air just as they were seen during the live performance. Our take is that Elton and Pam were competing backstage for Justin, and that Elton gave her the axe (as it were) to ward her off. The bitch is back, indeed.

NBC Cuts Pamela Anderson Pole-Dancing Video [AP Via Yahoo]