Ah, yes, our imaginary instant message alter egos are again having a fake computer-enabled conversation about a real event real people just like you really want to attend. Really!

Ttlykewl: Hiya. What are you doing tonight?

BrdNYC: I've picked my ass good and clean, so...well, nothing. Sitting alone in my house, I guess.

Ttlykewl: That's stupid. You should go ice skating.

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After cancellation last year due to the weather, Southern Decadance is back, though maybe a bit smaller. Of course the "weather" last year was more than just a few showers. Hurricane Katrina devastated the city and forced most of the residents to leave. There were a couple dozen hardy souls who marched down Bourbon St. on Sept. 5, 2005 to keep the spirit of New Orleans's legendary Pride celebration alive, but for the most part, the party got rained out.

This year Southern Decadence is back and starts today, continuing through the long weekend. All the hotels and guest houses are full already, and the event even has two official websites, not doubt due to some petty gay argument. We don't have time to figure out who is right in this one, so you can just visit both if it interests you.

With all his recent involvement in reconstruction efforts, we wonder if Brad Pitt will be the grand marshal.

Southern Decadence Returns To New Orleans [365 Gay]
Southern Decadence [Official Site #1]
Southern Decadence [Official Site #2]

When our friend sent us this link, we thought he was making fun. He denies it vehemently, but we're not convinced. Anyway, for those queers here in NYC who care not about fashion, parties, or socializing with the larger world, have we got the group for you: The NYC Gay Variants. Variants? That's dangerously close to variables, which reminds us of math, which makes us cry.

No matter, we actually think this is kind of cool, except for the not shopping or fun thing. Scrabble's fun, though, especially when you're stoned and getting head, which we assume these kids don't do. Or, conversely, they do it really, really well. Also, they're serious about pronouns. No fucking around here, just gay nerd love. (We're not making fun. Okay, just a little, but only with love.)

Gay Nerds Unite! (Seriously) [The NYC Gay Variants]

There are all sorts of reasons a gay might have a moustache: they are rocking the entire facial hair look, they are channeling the 80s in an ironic electroclash way, or they just think it looks good. For these individuals, a quality pair of moustache scissors is a must, and Tweezerman is once again there for us when we need them. And they come with a cute little comb.

Another stache-related item of interest is the Moustache party in Toronto every third Thursday at Remington's male strip club. It's a pretty gay crowd, but guys and girls are both welcome upstairs and are encouraged to enter the amateur strip competition. Just don't take off your skivvies without a cabaret license or you may be hauled off the stage.

Tweezerman Moustache Scissors with Comb ($17.99) [Target via Uncrate]

Last night we went to Bruce LaBruce's French Exit party at the Drake Hotel in Toronto. Aside from the annoying straight girls swing dancing in the middle of the floor, we had a nice night, complete with a delicious, free cheese plate and top-notch entertainment from Canadian trannie sensation Lola who was dancing with a green light sabre and some fag with sunglasses.

What a little coquette she was, tossing her black feather boa around the necks of unsuspecting party-goers. The last time we saw Lola was in last year's Toronto Gay Pride parade where she was wearing nothing but a pink tutu and some balloons. See a couple more photos from last night's party after the jump.

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We had a blast at the Out 100 party Friday night, mingling with stars and friends alike. As Perez reports, Sharon Stone's speech was a bit, um, off.

We saw our pals Dan Renzi, Jason Bellini, and Kim Stolz and met many pretty fabulous people. Check out some Flickr photos: here and here. And also check out Patrick McMullan’s site. You just might catch our editor in a photo or two.

Thanks for the invite Out!

A new gay networking event is launching this week in Manhattan and Queerty wants to invite some of its readers to attend the party. Come have a glass of champagne on us and the fellas over at Adam New York this Wednesday night. The party is being held at an ultra glam and exclusive secret Meatpacking destination. SORRY WE FILLED UP!

From the Adam guys:

Adam is the place where New York-based gay professionals working the media, arts, politics, business, finance, and other professions intersect. It's a virtual and real-world private members' club which meets monthly in prime locations around Manhattan.

It will be a great way to network, meet other gay professionals, and wind down in the middle of the week.

We alluded to our hangover earlier and it is a rough one. Six vodkas will do that to you. Last night, we ventured with a friend to Marquee to see a special set by the Go-Go's, the Belinda Carlisle fronted 80’s pop sensations. The girls have never looked better and sounded great too.

While rubbing elbows with Venus Williams, Lindsay Lohan, and Richie Rich, we got to asking “what exactly was the party was for?” Nobody knew.

Not even the FIVE PR gals we asked throughout the night. Not one of them knew what the party they were throwing was for. Classic.

This morning, upon doing some research, we discovered the bash was for Nordstrom Silverscreen, a new site featuring a video mash-up Nordstrom did of "Our Lips Are Sealed" with Fat Boy Slim. Once the site goes live, you can click on the clothes in the video and purchase them. Which is a brilliant idea.

Someone should tell Nordstrom’s PR team. And you queens should run out and download some Go-Go's tunes. They don't make records like that anymore.