Isn't it bizarre that Paula Abdul once lusted for a cartoon cat? Although, perhaps not as bizarre as the fact that David Fincher directed this video for "Opposite Attract". Fincher, of course, would go on to direct other head-scratchers, such as Seven and Zodiac.

Seven confounds because it's so fucking weird; Zodiac because people seem to love it. Us? We think it's shit. What's not shit, however, is the news that Paula's releasing a greatest hits album. That's the shit.

• They may not have been able to get fingerprints from the blade that killed porn producer Bryan Charles Kocis, but police are hoping his computer's hard drive and telephone records will lead to his killer. We love a good mystery!

• Rumor has it American Idol's looking to replaced Paula Abdul due to her wacky ways. Why, then, would they ask Courtney Love to take her place? Seriously, someone please explain...

• Also, someone explain John Galliano's fall 2007collection to us, because we don't really understand the whole smeared lip stick, stocking thing. In fact, it sort of makes our heads hurt.

• Wait, the Bush Administration lied about global warming? We feel so...well, yes, deceived, but, honestly, we saw that coming.

• Speaking of government mistakes, The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Coalition for the Homeless say the government has not done enough to address the "epidemic" of homeless gay youth. (That's because they don't care...)

• In other mistake-related news, Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have apparently grasped the mistake that is drug addiction and have checked into rehab. Together.

• Lily Allen's "debut" album comes out today. As if you don't already have it.

• Paula Abdul claims she got drunk and fell down was assaulted by a man at a "private party" over the weekend. Oh Paula, just because Fox signed you for three more years doesn't mean you can go starting fights. [AP]

• Kids in California won't have to rely on their parents to teach them what "gay" is for much longer if a controversial new bill is passed that would require homosexuality to be addressed in a positive way in school textbooks. So now instead of "James Buchanan the bachelor President," California might teach "James Buchanan the possibly gay President who lived with a man that many called 'Aunt Fancy.'" [Pink News]

• A fraternity at the University of Vermont allegedly engaged in Brokeback Mountain-themed hazing, which is illegal in Vermont (hazing, not cowboys fucking). We hope that photos surface. [WCAX]

• Child molestation between adults and their step-children is totally legal in Connecticut as long as both parties are the same sex. At least for now. [Washington Blade]

• Those intrepid Soulfource Equality Ride members (are there any left that aren't in jail?) are taking their big bus to the Mormons. [Deseret News]

• Paula Abdul Rehab Watch. We hope she never sobers up. [Rotten Ryan]

• Kate Moss' beau pleads guilty--and goes apeshit on a reporter. Hot! [Jossip]

• Gay icon Gina Gershon divas out over a pair of shoes, solidifies gay icon status juuuust a little more. [Daily Dish] via [Socialite Life]

• The real reason we watch Footballer's Wives. [PAYOR]

• Soap operas filling up with bubbly gay teens. [AfterElton]

• Brokeback Mountain (yes, we're sick of talking about it too, but this is actually legit) has inspired new anti-discrimination laws in Taiwan. Cool. [Taipei Kid]

• Chief Justice Roberts or Justice Souter: who is more gay? [Wonkette]

• Why Paula Abdul is the most important Idol judge. [MSNBC]

• Scientology may have been the "cure" for Tom Cruise's gayness, but now it's blamed for a woman's death. Or maybe, the woman was just nuts?...[The Scoop]

• Madonna, the Kabbalah, and chicken soup. Read to the end for the link to the story. [PAYOR]

• Faye Dunaway leaving the message of all messages. Listen all the way through, bask in the momentum. It's ironic that she complains about wanting to leave Mommie Dearest behind, yet she just soooo brought her back to life. [WOW]

During an interview on Howard Stern's Sirius radio program, Simon Colwell predicted the three finalists for this season of American Idol:

"Let me tell you who's gonna be in the finals," Cowell said. "The bald-headed kid (Chris Daughtry) and the guy with gray hair (Taylor Hicks)."

A few minutes later, he added, "I think the top three will be the two I mentioned and Kellie Pickler."

While Simon is trying to portray himself as the all-knowing soothsayer of music competitions, we presume he can read the weekly reports on how many votes are cast for each contestant. So he would know who has been in the lead so far. It's not that fancy a prediction.

Although when we TiVo Idol, we do fast-forward through comments by "Uhhhhhh, it was alright for me" Randy Jackson and "Your light shines from within" Paula Abdul, and only watch Simon's snappy critiques--unless Paula is drunk/high, in which case we watch her comments over and over. Cracked-out Paula is the best. But Simon's opinions aren't inherently any more accurate than the other judges: remember, in the preliminary audition stages, he gave "no" votes to both Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks. Suddenly, he's changing his tune?...

Simon picks Idol finalists

This season of American Idol is amazing, but not because of the singers. The singers are good though they’d better watch out because Abdul is slowly stealing their spotlight. We’re convinced that Abdul is back to popping the pills. Either she had a Botox session go amazingly wrong or the girl has had a few recent visits from the pill fairy. We went crazy with our Tivo on Tuesday looping back and forward watching Abdul’s drug induced responses. Abdul continuously referred to the singers’ performances as “out of this world.” Secretly, we think she was referring to her state of consciousness, or lack thereof. The combination of the fidgety turret syndrome-like head movements, coupled with the bad drag queen hair and the scary pill-popping smile made it perfectly clear.

Pill popping Abdul aside, we still have to predict who will win this season. Don’t hate us for doing this, but we’re predicting Katherine McPhee will take it all. She’s cute, girl can sang and after dropping the Streisand, I’m sure she has the gays on her side. We also like her because Abdul loves her and her pill poppy behavior really shows itself when McPhee is on stage. Simon put it best:

McPhee, the final contestant to take the stage, earned Cowell's highest praise of the night, with her performance of Barbra Streisand's "Since I Fell for You. "There were four very, very good vocalists tonight," Cowell said. "And you were the best."

Our predictions aside, somebody stage an intervention with Abdul, but not until the season is over.

Ladies First on "American Idol [E! Online]
American Idol [Official Site]

• A Paula Abdul dating show sounds like the perfect televised train wreck we've been waiting for. If there is a God, her dating pool will be filled exclusively with American Idol rejects. [Zap2it]

• The DGA hearts Ang Lee. We'll soon find out how much the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sceinces loves Lee and Brobeback. Oscar noms are out tomorrow. [BBC]

• China does not heart Brokeback Mountain. [BBC]

• A gay Colombian man, currently in Orlando, wants the U.S. to grant him political asylum because of increased homophobia in his native country. But is landing yourself in a state run by George Bush's bro really a step in the right direction? [Miami Herald]

• Guy Ritchie will be best man at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding. We would be super-happy fags if Madonna somehow ends up godmother to the most beautiful baby in the world. [Digital Spy]

• American Idol might not be so good this season. Paula Abdul seems to be off the meds. [Dot Conor]

• Dan Renzi’s hilarious “brother” is back with another Project Runway recap. [Dan Renzi]

• And you can’t have Dan without having Rich. He’s famous for these posts. [Four Four]

• Gay weddings in Baltimore? Might be sooner than you think. [The Advocate]

• “Q: What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being retarded.” We just spit up our coffee. [The FAGAT Guide]