Prince Harry can't have everything he wants. The 22-year old royal insisted he be sent to fight in the Iraq War, but Army brass ain't having it. BBC reports that General Sir Richard Dannatt has nixed the plan due to threats against the would-be reconnaissance commander. Dannat said,

Following a visit to Iraq last week I discovered a number of threats relating directly to Prince Harry and those around him and I am not prepared to export those risks... I know Prince Harry will be extremely disappointed and his soldiers will miss his presence in Iraq.

We understand how much the prospect of fighting the not-so-good fight meant to you. You'll most likely never be King, so this was an opportunity for you to really shine. Now, you'll just sink back into your life as a peaceful citizen. Or, you could go it alone and become a war vigilante. Better yet, you can form a rag-tag group of mercenaries with a clever name, like "The H-Team" or "Harry's Angels"! That would show the stupid army.

Poor Prince Harry. He's so rich and famous and has become a national hero for joining the army, but home boy still can't handle his booze. Diana's princely son took a spill after screaming at a photogs outside London's Boujis, flashing his pink panties to the crowd. So, what's young Harry's drink of choice? A vodka blend charmingly called "crack babies". Diana would be so proud.

Meanwhile, Harry's brother, William, had some laughs with pals and snapped some photos of himself in what appears to be an ode to coke-snorting. But that may just be our plebeian interpretation.

Harry brawls while Wills drools [thisislondon]

A reader sent us this link over from The Wow Report. It's being marketed as a picture of Prince Harry's erect willy, but we can't tell if it's in fact his enlarged member or if it's nothing more than an optical illusion.

So, reader, why don't you weigh in and let us know what you think. That is, if you care, which you know you do.

• In Britain, tabloid The Sun apologized for yesterday's cover story showing Prince Harry grabbing a girl's breasts at club. Not only did the rag get the nightclub wrong, they got the date of the photos wrong: They were taken in August 2003, not August 2006. [Guardian]

• In Ohio, a gay rights group has abandoned its effort to have Cincinnati voters decide whether gay men and women should be protected under the city's anti-discrimination ordinance after many of its signatures were acknowledged to be forgeries. [AP]

• In Kansas, two boys have confessed to stealing the rainbow flag – yes, that rainbow flag – waving outside a Meade bed and breakfast. The boys' father last week brought them to the B&B to apologize to the owners. [Out Q News]

• In New Mexico, the beating an 18-year-old gay man in Edgewood last month is now being attributed to the attackers' wanting to "scare him straight" after he allegedly touch the butt of one of the suspects. [Out Q News]

• Marcia Cross is still fuming over Barbara Walters asking her whether she is a lesbian. The question came during a live The View segment — and beforehand backstage, Walters told Cross she would have to ask her about it. [Scoop]

• In Wisconsin, tourism officials are worried that the industry will take a hit if voters in November greenlight a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. [AP]

• In Estonia, police launch a formal investigation into the attacks on the gay pride parade held in the nation's capital Tallinn over the weekend. [Advocate]

• In New Jersey, a former high school student got the OK from an appeals court – even though he missed the filing deadline – to sue the school district on charges his then-band teacher infected him with HIV during their sexual relationship. [AP]

• Though the military's discharging of 726 service members under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy last year represents a 10 percent increase over 2004, there's no evidence to show there's been an increased effort to force out members. [NYT]

• In Australia, the federal government is expected to move for a ban on gay couples from abroad being allowed to adopt children from the county. Such policies are usually left up to states – where some allow gay citizens to adopt, others not – but P.M. John Howard is likely to assert federal power over the matter. [Pink News]

• Big Pharma companies Gilead and Merck announced they'll be providing once-daily HIV pill Atripla to developing nations around the world. No word yet on which countries will receive the drug, and at what cost. [Advocate]

• In New York City, City Council speaker Christine Quinn – almost always an ally in gay rights – is at the center of criticism over a push to have the city's nightclubs install security cameras at entrances and exist. Critics say it's a privacy violation, especially for gay men and women not open about their sexuality. [NYT]

• In Britain, Price Harry cops a feel. [The Sun]

The Top 5 Reasons Queerty Is Oh-So-Envious Of The United Kingdom:

5) Their poufs can get married.

4) They had the original Queer As Folk, one of the most brilliantly-written (and successful) television programs in UK history; we just had the schlocky version on Showtime.

3) The UK is home to Dame Edna's Neighborhood Watch, the gayest, sexiest, most pointless game show in the history of Earth's existence. Please buy it on DVD.

2) George Michael is throwing a baby shower for his fair-weather friend, Geri Halliwell, in his London estate. Not that we could get in--damn those restraining orders!--but it's fun to dream.

...and the #1 reason we're jealous of the UK:

1) Prince Harry. A.k.a., "William who?", the best thing to happen to redheads since Rick Astley.

How we wish we had real-life royalty when alas, we only have Hilton Hotel heiresses. How we wish we knew how to parachute jump, so we could be the tandem instructors the next time. How we wish we could get a handful of...the area of his body we KNOW you looked at immediately.

• Harriett Miers has withdrawn her Supreme Court Justice nomination. Let's hope Bush's next pick has much better hair.

• A British army sergeant suspected cadet Prince Harry had the name of his girlfriend inked on his royal arse. So Harry was shouted an order: "drop your pants and show me your backside!" Funny enough, this was all part of a fantasy we had just two nights ago.

• Word is Siegfried abuses and drugs up his tiger-clawed boyfriend, Roy Horn. Roy has even resorted to concealing a secret cell phone and knife "to protect himself." Why didn't they incorporate this kind of material into their sleep-inducing Vegas show?

• A Pennsylvania student is being punished for writing that gays are "subhuman" on his blog. We're sure he meant superhuman.

•Mr. Star Jones, Al Reynolds, was left to suffer in a confined jail cell with other masculine convicts for 12 hours. 12 hours we say! And despite phone calls to his beard, um, wife, she never showed up at the police station. Star always did struck us the compassionate type.

• The anti-gay flyers showing up in Texas are great reading material. The line that reads queers "troll for homo sex at 'gay' bars" made us snort out or morning latte. It also left us wondering what goes on in all of those chaste "straight" watering holes. Bible reading and gospel singing? Um, no. (via Andy)