What else do you do when you've just accidentally said Queen Elizabeth's birth predates that of the country you stole?
Blundering Bush makes ANOTHER gaffe as he winks at the Queen [Daily Mail]

Sir Peter Davies has called off his wouldbe wedding after ex-Hell's Angel and chosen officiator Charlie Ridley resigned from his post. Queen Elizabeth II's royal music master, Davies planned to marry his beau, Colin Parkinson on the small UK island of Sanday, but officials refused his request, instead offering an alternate island in the Orkney chain.

In response to our report, an Orkney Council official sent us a note saying that the senior registrar would travel to Sanday for the allegedly star-studded event. Davies stuck to his guns, however, and insisted Ridley preside over the ceremony. But, now Ridley's called the whole thing off, dashing Davies' dreams. The Scotsman reports:

Yesterday it was revealed Mr Ridley had resigned from his post, saying the row had taken its toll on his health.

He said he had fought to be allowed to perform the ceremony because it was a principle he believed in. But he felt he had become a casualty of the row over the council's refusal to let him officiate.

"All I wanted to do was perform a professional service for everyone on the island. I felt I was left with no option other than to resign with immediate effect," he said.

Ridley then ran from the room holding his bosom and crying, "Why? Why? Why?" He hasn't been seen or heard from since.

For his part, Davies promises to marry elsewhere, saying, "Everything has gone so sour..." No use crying over spilled marriages, right?

(You may notice we changed Davies' picture. A reader found it a bit scary - and, quite frankly - he did look a bit like a maniac. So, we've switched it out for this one. Not quite as funny as Pope Benedict XVI in his little red hat, but not without its frivolous charm.)

An organization known as The Christian Concern for Our Nation has petitioned Queen Elizabeth II (pictured, looking mischievously cannibalistic) to use her totally symbolic powers to stop a "pro-gay" discrimination law. In a seemingly endless statement, the Churchies implore:

On November 4th 1952, in your Coronation Oath, your Majesty declared that you would 'to the utmost of your power maintain the Laws of God and the true profession of the Gospel'.

We therefore call upon your Majesty to urgently consider a proposed law, formulated by your Government, known as the Sexual Orientation Regulations which are being introduced by virtue of Section 82 of the Equality Act 2006.

Perhaps the CCON hasn't been brushing up on their political science. Sure, Lizzie's head of the Church of England and the figurative head of state, but she really can't do more than chat it up with Tony Blair. What's more, she's not one to get involved in national politics. She's too busy waving from windows and trotting about with her little dogs. And, of course, sporting of her fetching hats - a feat much more important than any silly legislation.

Join with Queerty as we pay homage to Quentin Crisp, who six years ago this week was called by the Lord but opted for hell because he heard the devil had a big one and was poking bottoms with a pitchfork while using it. Quentin Crisp was born queer in England on Christmas Day, 1908. Her Majesty the Queen avoided all comparison with him, knowing her quips and her hairstyles were inferior.

In his twenties, he determined to live "not merely as a self-confessed homosexual, but a self-evident one." Part and parcel of his mission was "making the existence of homosexuality abundantly clear to the world's aborigines". Quintin’s magnum opus was his life, though his autobiography was none too shabby. Titled The Naked Civil Servant, it was adapted for a television film starring John Hurt in 1975.

He later developed that material into a one-man show, An Evening With Quintin Crisp. As in his earlier days he had worked as a prostitute, there was no small number of people claiming to have enjoyed An Evening With Quintin Crisp. One of his most famous quotes would eliminate the need for relationship advice columns, were it to be universally heeded. “The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.” Upon his death, Quintin Crisp was cremated and his ashes were scattered over Manhattan.

Named Reginald Kenneth Dwight at birth, Elton John was dubbed “Sharon,” by Rod Stewart. Elton reciprocated by naming Rod “Phyllis.” Queerty of course wishes for Sharon and Phyllis to be the happiest girls in the panties shoppe.

You might have thought you learned everything worth knowing about Elton John when he was associate producer of The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne. But then you realized there was a lot left to learn about him when he was the executive producer for Women Talking Dirty. What’s left to reveal could come in John’s 2006’s flick It’s a Boy Girl Thing.

Or it could come in a sitcom. ABC has approved the showing of a pilot for a mirth and girth fest based on Sharon’s real life as an aging rocker, tentatively titled Him and Us. We just hope that in the episode that shows Elton being knighted, celebrity guest Queen Elizabeth II gets the hot camera angles she deserves.