Wordsmiths T Cooper and Felicia Luna Lemus certainly have their own storytelling styles, but these lovers' respective works follow similar trajectories. Nothing is every permanent in their stories.

The sand shifts at the precise moment their protagonists seem to have it all worked out. Their impermanence bleeds into everything, from family history to gender and sexuality to interpersonal relations. Lemus’ new novel Like Son follows Frank, a thirty-year old who has to unearth the meaning of a photograph his dying father hands him.

In Cooper’s Lipshitz 6, or Two Angry Blondes, recently released in paperback, the 100-year-old history of a family starts in the pogroms of Europe and ends with the last offspring impersonating Eminem.

This queer couple's unique manner of brandishing the written word make them a perfect addition to The Style Issue.

We sent their friend and Queerty contributor, James Withers on a mission to mine their minds for a look into their literary idiosyncrasies, the evolution of their relationship and the difference between German and American readers. And, as we find out - um - straight away, this trio has more in common than just writing. They all love gay porn. Who knew?

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The American Association for Nude Recreation wants to bring sexy back. The Florida-based group has expressed alarm over its geriatric demographic and hopes that a new campaign will help recruit some pretty young things. CNN reports:

To draw 20- and 30-somethings, nudist groups and camps are trying everything from deep discounts on membership fees to a young ambassador program that encourages college and graduate students to talk to their peers about having fun in the buff.

In the buff buffs say age isn't the only factor sagging their numbers, but price. That's why a number of established nudist colonies are offering special discounted rates for college students. That's very thoughtful, but where will they put their change?

Online dating service eHarmony isn't taking Chemisty.com's advertorial attacks lying down. The company - which got its start under James Dobson's Bible-thumping thumb - has hired famed lawyer Lanny J. Davis - who helped Clinton during that whole Lewisnky blow job brouhaha.

In an effort to save his client's hide, Davis has asked NBC and People to stop running Chemistry.com's adverts, which highlight eHarmony's irrational, allegedly discriminatory practices.

As you may recall, one commercial features a man saying eHarmony rejected his application because he's gay.

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Canadian homos get an eyeful on this SoGayTV version of Temptation Island. Watch as host Mathieu Chantelois tries to get boys to cheat on their lovers. With strippers. On Chantelois' bed. Needless to say, this shit ain't safe for work.

Some think self-proclaimed bisexuals get the best of both worlds, but that's hardly the case. In fact, this sexual social class often finds itself on the outskirts of queer circles, particularly by gay men: Most gays feel that bisexuality is a cop-out. They just don't think it exists. When they are finally free from that closet, they are staunchly gay. They are free and liberated, and don't want to accept any other label. Amity Pierce Buxton, who founded the Straight Spouse Network - a support group for individuals whose spouses have come out - remarks tell The Star Ledger:

Most gays feel that bisexuality is a cop-out. They just don't think it exists. When they are finally free from that closet, they are staunchly gay. They are free and liberated, and don't want to accept any other label.

The same article notes that openly bisexual people remain a rarity, with only 1.8% and 2.8% of men and women identifying as "bi", respectively, while 2.3% of men and 1.3% of ladies who identify as gay. Yes, we understand it's tempting to dismiss the seemingly sexual greedy but, as we've mentioned before, dismantling sexual binaries may be one of the best things we can do.

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It's hard finding a date. That's why millions upon millions of people turn to the internet to find their next honey. And we're not talking Manhunt here. Believe it or not, gay men and women actually find longterm lovers via the world wide web. One of the biggest site, eHarmony, refuses to help them.

Founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren claims that since eHarmony's a "marriage" based-site, they can't cater to the homos. Homos, of course, can't legally marry and eHarmony goes by the book. What he doesn't mention, however, is that his law book goes by another name: The Bible. The popular site got its start under the Focus on The Family wing. Warren's great chums with that old homo-hater, James Dobson and Dobson used to promote the site on his radio show. The men severed their business ties back in 2005, when eHarmony became a publicly traded company. Their homophobic legacy lives on, however, thus ensuring no gay will ever find love on their cultish site.

Now another dating site's looking to fill that gaping hole. Chemistry.com - an offshoot of gay loving match.com - has launched an aggressive ad campaign highlighting eHarmony's discriminatory logic. Here's their queer commercial. It's sweet, to the point and, we hope, effective...

It's hard to find a man these days. Let alone a super man. The seemingly endless quest for love can get a bit tiresome, leading lonely hearts in the realm of fantasy. Never fear, heartbroken homos - the superhero match makers are here!

Despite existing in separate comic company realms, Doctor Fate and Professor X have teamed up to help you find the super-powered lover of your dreams. All you have to do is head on over to the Superhero Dating Quiz, answer some standard questions - "Do You Like Big Muscles?", "Do you like flying?" - and the duo find your match.

We're 65.2% compatible with Beast from the X-Men. Batman trailed close behind with 64.6%. No offense, Beast, but we're going to go with Batman. Oh, shit, we've made Beast cry!

It's not you, Beast, it's our distaste for shedding animals. We'll give you a call if things between us and old Bat butt don't work out.

(Super thanks to reader Nathan for sending us the link. You're our hero.)

• It's been such an informative day around these parts. First of all, we solved part of that "Hear Boys Talk" mystery. You may recall we dialed the salacious 646 number and got some nonsensical, non sexual little ditty. One question remained, however: "Why??" Well, a reader wrote in and provided more of an explanation:

For what it's worth, those "hear boys talk" cards are being spread to promote the Pegleg brand. They're a band of bougie downtown boys who sell graphic tees with an "urban" sensibility. They're also vaguely homophobic. You can see at [here] Don't call me out and keep up the good work!

What? Those fuckers used our libido to promote their product? It's like we're reverse whores, or something.

While we're happy to have more answers on this one, we're left with an even bigger puzzle: did Stylelist know the whole time?? If so, we feel one of the following: a. annoyed, b. foolish or c. insanely proud of their clever commercial camaraderie.

• Speaking of multiple choice, yesterday we asked you if Johnny Knoxville's "Happy Birthday, Homo" shirt should offend our politically-minded souls or if we should let him give us a good tickle. Well, the answers are in, readers and we've just let out a big belly laugh. Good thing, too, because it was beginning to hurt.

• Banksy continues to make bank. One of the rascally British guerilla artist's paintings just nabbed £288,000. That's like a million of our worthless American money.

• Larry Birkhead and Baby Dannielynn are finally free to leave the Bahamas! But only if they return for yet another custody hearing in June. This kid's going to be thirty by the time this shit's resolved.

• A gay Karaoke bar is totally hiring. Qualifications: good looking, willing to do anything for money and an uncanny ability to hold your liquor. Fellatio skills not necessary, but preferred.

• Mark Simpson sez, "The Teenager is dead. Long live The Teenager!" This essay will explain all those pressing questions, like why you're such a fucking child.

• Noah, As The World Turn's gay teenager, has some questions about finding a boyfriend. So sweet.

• How many married men stay in the closet? A lot.

We're putting our money where our mouths are on this one. This morning we posted a Stylelist-provided image of a sex line advert and wondered what the hell "soft talk" could mean. And, more importantly, why anyone would want to call this "adults only" chat line.

Well, a reader by the name of Captain Ahab pulled himself ashore to leave this note:

Well...when are you going to call and post what you heard? Out's [Stylelist] didn't have the balls to call either. Pussies.

Now, we may be a lot of things, but we're certainly not pussies. So, we put our fingers to work in hopes that the voice on the other line would, well, put our fingers to work. And you know what? It didn't work.

When they say "soft talk", they mean it. And when they say "adults only", they mean, "anyone of any age with 33 seconds of their life they're willing to sacrifice for pure garbage". That, of course, isn't as enticing as "adults only".

The message itself isn't so much "boys talking" as "one boy singing...poorly":

Love is feeling. Feeling Love. Love is golden. Golden Love. Peg Leg wants you to do your love. Do you [love?] 07? 07 love.

At least now we know "peg leg" doesn't mean amputation fantasy. It's a person. Wait a second...Captain Ahab, is that you?

We wanted a little Style, but we got a headache, instead. The kids over at Stylelist discovered this wholly unsexy, perplexing and somewhat disconcerting sex ad down in Soho. And, really, it's too genius not to pass along.

"Hear Boys Talk"? Um, are people really so desperate that they'll call in to hear some "soft chat". What does that even mean? Politics and shit? Do you discuss how much you miss The Comeback or your favorite ice cream or how to get drool stains out of your pillow? That's what relationships are for, not sex lines.

If we're going to spend our hard earned dough on a Chatty Cathy, we want them to be the nastiest fucks on the planet. We want them to say things that make us blush, cringe, vibrate and, more importantly, ejaculate.

(And, yes, Stylelist, we think the peg leg thing's weird, too.)

Within the masses of cupid's misguided muses, there's one homo-journo who actually has something to say: Michael Svoboda.

Originally written for Frontiers, Svoboda's column, "The Deep End", follows the typically tiresome Carrie Bradshaw formula, but only in practice: real life stories turned into universal lessons of love. For those of you down with the heartbreak struggle, you'll be happy to hear that Svoboda's compiled his entire cock hungry collection in one easy-to-click package. There's no neurotic or pathetic ruminations a la another journo that's come up in these pages. It's just straight up sexually-related humor.

"The Deep End" may not be contagious, but it's certainly addictive.

Check out the entire collection here.

You may not be able to tell from this poorly pixelated picture, but these are the faces of frustrated heterosexuals. Now, it's been a while since we were "straight", but we remember the trials and tribulations of understanding the opposite sex. Luckily, some brilliant comedians have come up with a solution for all the gendered confusion: homosexuality. That's right! Homosexuality will make understanding your lover a snap! As the announcer says, there are "many, many benefits" to homosexuality. Like what? Well, like high-fiving your gay lover after sex. What bitch does that? And, for you ladies, you can collect all the cats you want! Hoorah!

Click here to get all the eye-opening details. You'll be glad you did.