The Baptist State Convention of North Carolina ruled last week in favor of banning churches which approve of homos and their sinful homo "lifestyles". Obviously we're not so thrilled about this move. One man, however, absolutely adores the decision: Reverend William Sanderson aka "Pastor Bill".

Leader of North Carolina's Hephzibah Baptist Church, Sanderson's made quite a name for himself touting homo-hating and pressing for a more conservative church. In light of last week's decision, The News & Observer has a rousing piece on this god-fearing man. Among the more interesting tidbits, one can read about how Sanderson wanted to be a veterinarian, believes in the Virgin Mary and, of course, ain't too keen on the homos. He says:

We've got to fight for our children's lives. When they start saying in school that a man and a man is just like a man and a woman, well no, it's not.

We suppose from a biological perspective, Sanderson has a point. You see, women have vaginas and men have penises, so a man and a man together means no vagina, but two penises. Don't you love glaringly obvious gay math?

Also, can we point out a somewhat unsettling, yet unsurprising quote:

When we take God out [of America], what's God going to do?...He's going to spank our hind.

We can't help but think that Sanderson would love the feel of God's baby-soft rump slap. We can just hear him screaming, "Oh, God, yes, I've been a sinner! A dirty, dirty sinner! Almost as dirty as those fudge-packing faggots!" He'll beg and plead to be punished, yearning for that almighty penance. A busy entity, God's one-on-one lesson will most likely be cut short, leaving poor Sanderson with a nasty case of holy blue balls. And if there's one thing you don't want, it's celestial blue balls. Trust us, we know.