The Russian government may allow gay pride, but some religious figures aren't having it. The Russian Orthodox Church released a statement wagging a righteous finger at the "sexual minorities march". How quaint.

The Russian Orthodox Church considers unacceptable the sexual minorities parade, which infringes on our multiethnic nation’s moral norms, on public order, and in a long run - on our people’s future.

The statement goes on to damn same-sex sex, claiming it only leads to further "despair" and "moral degradation". Is that what they're calling it now.

What's more, it seems gay pride's just selfish displays of decidedly offensive behavior:

Aggressiveness in promoting gay ideas even under a human rights disguise is obviously provocative. The gay activist nave no respect for other people’s rights and do not even consider that what they do may offend others.

How could we have been so inconsiderate? Don't worry, though, the Church says they'll show us the way. Lucky us.

Stop gay propaganda in Russia - Moscow Patriarchate [Interfax]

• NewsBusters, the watch dog group dedicated to "exposing and combating liberal media bias", are taking aim at GLAAD the group released a statement in which president Neil Giuliano "urges" the media to commemorate Falwell as a homo-hating monster:

As they look back on the life of the Rev. Falwell, media have an opportunity and a responsibility to reflect on the outdated, hurtful attitudes and beliefs he embodied...

It's an important opportunity to take stock of how far our nation has come in moving toward a more respectful and inclusive society, and how far we still have to go.

Newsbusters go on to accuse CNN of buying into the Falwell bashing:

On Anderson Cooper 360, CNN correspondent Randi Kaye, who raised eyebrows in December for a story worrying about Saddam suffering when he hanged, shared no comparable horror at the death of Falwell. Her transcript read like a commercial for GLAAD... Anchor Anderson Cooper titled his segments "Faith and Fury," and fury was certainly in heavy rotation on CNN.

If only Evangelical revisionists were in charge of the media...

• America's Next Top Model's (Ms.) J Alexander warns touchy-feely fans to back off: "I knocked a lot of people in the nose and knocked a lot of people in the head and knocked a lot of people in the chest for grabbing up on Miss Jay."

• California-based gay activist Larry Sprenger has died. Sprenger's work with the Municipal Elections Committee of Los Angeles helped close bath houses to stop the spread of AIDS.

• CBS' Kiddie Nation proves that reality television really is for children.

• St. Petersburg Pride banned! The city's just too dang busy, you see?

• Wanna see some cute boys? Sure ya do! Especially when they're fine ass D&G models posing in their undies...

• Just so you know, Antarctica's still melting.

• British passport authorities refused four-month old Eden Lurie's picture because her hair was deemed "too spiky". To curb the problem, the gave her a digital trim. How thoughtful.

• Meanwhile, another set of British passport authorities have admitted to issuing nine passports to al Qaeda operative, Dhiren Barot. Not only did Barot want to set off a dirty bomb, he also had big dreams of blowing up parking garages with gasoline packed limos. What a chap.

• Another teacher falls prey to anti-gay assaults on free speech. Amy Sorrell of Fort Wayne, Indiana, has been suspended with pay after she allowed students to print a controversial op-ed that included such horrid homo propaganda as: "I can only imagine how hard it would be to come out as homosexual in today’s society. I think it is so wrong to look down on those people, or to make fun of them, just because they have a different sexuality than you."

• Police have finally found the body of Dr Joaquin Leal Bermudez. The Spanish hematologist went missing in Norway back in January. Police soon arrested a suspect found driving Bermudez's blood stained car, but he ain't talking.

• The Russian Orthodox Church still isn't down with gays. The deputy Patriarchate of Moscow says, "The authorities should be acting depending on public opinion which I find quite clear - open propaganda of a gay way of life is rejected by our public, arousing protests and antagonism."

• If Andy Warhol were still alive, he'd be a rich motherfucker. One of the artist's famous Marilyn's (the "Lemon Marilyn", to be specific) may be auctioned for $15 million. It's current owner bought it for $250. Shit, we need to start buying more art...

• Current Swedish law requires all transsexuals be sterilized. Now lawmakers are debating whether to let them freeze their eggs and sperm. Hooray!

• From a reader: "[HX Media owned] In Newsweekly in Boston has informed all of their freelance writers that they will not be paying them for pieces that have already been written and published in the paper. At least one writer immediately removed their column from the paper. They also dumped Q Syndicate which is where they used to get a ton of their freelance material." Note to young homo-journos: look elsewhere for work.

Moscow's Patriarchate Foreign Minister Metropolitan Kirill spoke out against Moscow's controversial gay pride yesterday, insisting that such an event would spread sin:

We believe that the law should not interfere in citizens' private lives. You can sin if you want to, but you will answer to God. However, if you are trying to propagate your sin by seducing and degrading people, society must oppose it.

He went on to utter one of the most perplexing ruminations on democracy in history. Kirill claims that if the homos are allowed to march, the event would "mean something is wrong with democracy. Democracy should be for everyone, but it appears that we have double standards." Huh? If democracy's for everyone, then wouldn't the march uphold such standards? We're confused. But, it seems, not as confused as Kirill himself...

(Update: Reader John just sent us an email saying that Kirill's not a Catholic but, in fact, part of the Russian Orthodox Church. The confusion stems from his title, "patriarchate" - which is used in both the Roman Catholic and Russian Orthodox tradition. In Catholicism, a patriarchate is one of the twelve highest bishops, while in the Russian Orthodox there are nine. There used to only be four, but they changed it. Interesting, no? Thanks, John, we just learned something new.)

If you were looking for some teary explanation of horrid homophobia, you're looking in the wrong place. Despite video evidence, Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov's press secretary, Sergei Tsoi, denied attacking Russian gay rights activist, Nikolai Alekseev after a meeting in London. Going into full-fledged robot mode, Tsoi said:

I assaulted Nikolai Alekseev? Who said that?

This fact is not ‘protocoled’. And any ‘non-protocoled’ action is not a fact.

Um...so, if you're not told do something but do it anyway, it never happened? How convenient.

Responding to Tsoi's denial, Alekseev remarked:

The Moscow Mayor’s press secretary is pretending that he does not understand what’s going on. In reality, I suspect that he knows perfectly what the allegations are about.

We suspect you're right. Unless, of course, Tsoi has selective memory. Hopefully Scotland Yard will help job his memory.

In the meantime, we're in awe of Tsoi's denial, tenacity and, more than anything, balls.

London police are reviewing video and eye witness accounts that Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov's press secretary, Sergei Tsoi physically attacked and verbally threatened a Russian gay activist after a press conference last week.

Mayors from London, Paris, Moscow and Beijing had gathered in London to discuss policy issues, including gay rights. Luzhkov has come under pressure after banning Moscow's gay pride and referring to homosexuality as "satanic". As a press conference wrapped up, Nikolai Alekseev, a Moscow pride organizer, stood up and waved that symbol of fag freedom - the rainbow flag. Tsoi apparently didn't appreciate the blatant display of liberation, because he allegedly started yelling at and pushing Alekseev in an attempt to take his flag. Staffers broke up the scuffle before the fists could fly. Now police are wondering whether they should press charges.

Of the attack, Alekseev remarked:

If in Russia people of such high standing get away in such incidents, in Britain there is a slightly different perception of law abiding. Next time staff of Moscow Mayor will think many times before to breach the law... Mr. Tsoi [had] used homophobic statements [before] and now he is underpinning them with actions in front of all the media, which means he feels more and more untouchable.

Though Tsoi can't be arrested in Russia, if found guilty, he can be nabbed next time he heads on over to the UK. Something tells us he'll be changing his travel plans.

Eminent and equally omnipresent British activist Peter Tatchell said:

It reveals yet again the repressive, authoritarian nature of the Mayor of Moscow's regime... It was exceedingly discourteous for Mr Luzhkov’s staff to abuse the hospitality of the Mayor of London in this way.

It's a regular comedy of manners.

The war of words coming out of Moscow reached new heights today as Bishop Sergey Ryakhovsky lent his support to Mayor Yury Luzhkov's decision to bar Moscow's gay rights parade.

In addition to upholding the Bible's so-called prohibition on homosexuality, Ryakhovsky insists that gay rights simply don't exist:

The tolerance our sexual minorities mention so often, does not in reality correspond to the concept of ‘right.’ The fundamental human rights as formulated by the UN General Assembly in 1948 in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, do not include anything like a right to vice and or a right to moral crime.

Well, no, they don't, but the declaration's also not a religious or spiritual document. It's meant for everyone. That's why it's called "universal".

Ryakhovsky went on to criticize other European leaders for supporting gay rights, insisting "...You were born only because you daddies were men and mammies women..." A master of the obvious, that one.

Maybe Tim Hardaway should move to Russia. He'd probably make loads of friends. He can start with Moscow's international relations director, Georgy Muradov, who insists that his city will never allow a gay pride. Moscow's currently fighting in the EU's human rights court for its right to restrict registered homosexual events.

Defending his stance, Muradov claimed that queers conflict with the nation's dominant culture. He also intimated that homosexuality's akin to alcoholism and can be blamed for Russia's high mortality rates. Reacting to Sweden's reaction to his reaction to gays, Muradov said:

As you know, the sale of alcohol is restricted in many Scandinavian countries. Why not pose the question of removing the limits on alcohol in these countries, of holding a 'parade of alcoholics' in Sweden? They would answer: "No, it's bad for one's health, it affects society's morals".

As you guys may know, Russia's got a little alcohol problem of their own. Maybe Muradov should consider helping his hooch-loving country men, rather than taking on the cock-loving homos.

Muradov's comments come one day after conservative politician Nikolay Kuryanovich put forth a bill that will effectively prohibit homosexuality. Luckily, most politicians have said they won't endorse the bill. Just last week the government pledged its support to gay's right to assemble. Even if Moscow pride wins its case in European Court of Human Rights, no doubt there will be loads of opposition. But, of course, it's better than being in the army.

We can't help but wonder what Russian conservative politician Nikolay Kuryanovich - the man who wants to make homosexuality illegal - has to say about this story:

The Russian military is reported to be investigating claims that army conscripts were forced to work as male prostitutes in St Petersburg.
...
A spokeswoman for [human rights group] Soldiers' Mothers, Ella Polyakova, told the BBC that in St Petersburg there was "a network of clients" who would pay for sex with soldiers.

Older servicemen are said to have forced younger conscripts into prostitution and then taken the money for themselves.

It's hard out their for a pimp. Or, rather, Russian soldier.

Although, we can't blame the commanding officers for making a buck off their subordinates. You know what they say about Russian prostitutes: tasteless but potent.

Oy vey, what a mess it must be to be a gay Russian. First Moscow mayor Yury Luzhkov bans Moscow pride, calls gay people "satanists" and sparks a court battle that's headed all the way to the EU Human Rights Court. Then President Vladimir Putin says he supports gays, although does raise the "joke" of their affect on birth rates. A few days later, the government backs gays by saying they have the right to free assembly.

That alone's enough to send someone over the edge screaming, but now comes news that conservative politician Nikolay Kuryanovich is looking to recriminalize homosexuality, something that hasn't been done since 1993. UK Gay reports:

The new bill, introduced into Russia’s lower house on Monday, is nearly identical to the 1933 criminal code, until Stalin, which made homosexuality punishable by five years of hard labour. Deputy Nikolay Kuryanovich ‘s new legislation would revive Soviet law that would also ban gay congregations and be especially harsh with Pride organizers.
...
It is unclear how far Kuryanovich’s bill will get, as he doesn’t have any official party backing. The bill, however, has gained support from Communist supporters and the Russian Orthodox Church.

It seems to us this bill won't get the go ahead, but even the thought of it's pretty scary, no? Although, we can't say we're surprised Kuryanovich and his pals want to see the rise of an anachronistic ideology. Seems to be a lot of that going around lately...

Things have been a little sticky over in Russia. Gay rights activists are out for judicial blood over Moscow's banned gay pride parade and have promised to take the matter to the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, Moscow's mayor, Yury Luzhkov recently equated homosexuality with satanism. Luckily, Russian President Vladimir Putin's keeping it all together. Or, something.

Asked about Luzkov's statements, Putin was forced to make his first public statements on homosexuality ever. And what a resonant, powerful statement it was - by which we mean they're really pretty worthless:

I respect – and will respect – freedom of people in all their manifestations. My attitude to sexual minorities is simple. It is connected with my fulfilling of my official obligations.

Wow! That's real leadership right there. We can really tell Putin has the interest of his people in mind.

After making the statement, wrapped up the press conference, saying, "I've got some assassinations to plan, corruption to foster and shady Iranian business deals to broker, please excuse me." What a gentleman.

Meanwhile, in actual news, Moscow's mayor Yury Luzhkov insists that he'll never allow gays to march through his beloved city. You may recall Luzhkov refused to permit last year's march, setting off a legal battle gay rights activists promise to take to the Russian Supreme Court.

In a televised speech, Luzhkov reiterated his stance:

Last year, Moscow came under unprecedented pressure to sanction the gay parade, which can be described in no other way than as satanic... We did not let the parade take place then, and we are not going to allow it in the future.

Not surprisingly, gay organizers have taken offense at the comments.

Moscow Pride organizer Nikolai Alekseev replied to Luzhkov's speech, saying:

We are shocked by the statements of Mr. Luzhkov that “gay pride is a Satanist happening” and consider them as personal insult against the organizers and potential participants of the gay pride. Such words in respect to huge number of homosexual people who live in Russia are not worthy of an official of such high standing.

You're shocked? Really? Why? Luzhkov's made his political and social leanings known, so his vehemence really should come as a surprise. As for being insulted - well, yes, being called a "satanist" ain't the nicest thing, but think of all the other crude things he could have called you. Also, who's to say some of the gays aren't satanists? Sheesh, so narrow-minded...