Gay men may have a reputation for being cock hungry, cum guzzling sex maniacs, but South African "gay love coach", Brian L. Rzepczynski says there's a significant number of men who have found themselves unwillingly (and perhaps unwittingly) celibate. Now, in an effort to represent the voiceless, sexually frustrated fagalas, Rzepczynski's got a plan that promises some serious libidinal liberation.

Taking a true missionary position, Rzepczynski's justifies his stance and stresses the necessity of his carnal calling:

A lot of literature exists on how to super-charge your sex life and boost your bedroom antics - and that's all well and good if you have a sex life. But what about those who aren't having sex for whatever reason and want to be? As one reader pointed out to me, this is an overlooked population whose needs have been minimally represented and addressed.

Thus starts an less-than-stimulated/ing sexual revolution...

After justifying his love, Rzepczynski goes on to offer some theories on why people don't have sex:

lack of access to potential partners; discomfort with being gay, sexual identity struggles, and internalized homophobia; and religious reasons, family expectations, medical issues, being handicapped.

Okay, yes, those are all well and good, but what about aesthetically handicapped?

Simple. It's not their fault no one wants to do their nasty with their nasty asses. No, no, there's a far more omnipresent enemy, a nemesis against which all must fight if they ever want to fuck.

Part of the problem could also be victimization as a result of society's definition of what beauty and attraction means. For example, if you don't 'fit in' with gay culture's standards of what's viewed as desirable (young, physically fit, well-endowed, etc.)

Of course, dismantling the many layers of sociosexual superficiality will take years. Thus, blue ballers are encouraged to first wage another, more personal battle: a battle against their stank ass selves.

Rzepczynski tells readers to make a list of why people aren't on their jock. After the recovering from the shock of their dick deterrence, the sexless wonders must then determine which factors they control. That is, figure out how to make themselves less repellent, socially awkward and/or sexually anxious. Once that's done, they can work to dismantle some of Gayville's most sacred rituals. They must:

bull; Reduce the sexualization that goes along with gay media, film, and advertising. Capitalize on other strengths that being gay means. We are multi-dimensional! So much stock should not be placed on our looks, bodies, and sexuality.

bull; Broaden the scope of what desirability is. Break out of traditional models that define attractiveness by shallow, superficial, physical characteristics that objectify people. Substance and emotional depth can be the ultimate turn-on.

Huh? Is that in Chinese, because we couldn't read it. It made us all dizzy and shit. But, no one said revolution would be easy.

In fact, it's so uneasy - like getting laid, apparently - that Rzepczynski's penning a second part. We can't wait to see how this pans out - we can't help but feel that we're witnessing the beginning of the most potent cultural revolution in human history.

Before signing off, Rzepczynski has a reassuring message:

Just remember that you are not alone in this predicament and there is nothing abnormal or defective about it. We all have periods of sexual drought at some points in our lives and we can still be happy and fulfilled.

Amen...