Attending the Oscars looks like the most boring thing in cinematic history. All that clapping, all that sitting, all those snooze worthy acceptance speeches for even more snooze-worthy categories (sound mixing?). If we're ever invited, we'll have to politely decline and see if we can worm our way into Elton John's Oscar viewing party.

Not only would our attendance help The Elton John AIDS Foundation, but we'd get to chill with the biggest hodge-podge of stars this side of the red carpet. Where else can you find Victoria Beckham and Kelly Osbourne mugging for the camera? No where. Well, maybe heaven. Or is it hell? We can't tell anymore.

See some more shots, after the jump...

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Wow. We can't believe the kids over at HX still talk us. We've given them some pretty nasty lip over the past few months. We made light of their financially-motivated love affair with Michael Lucas. We took the piss out of that whole anniversary party fist fight. And we undoubtedly had a laugh at new editor Brandon Voss' expense. Yet, they still named us as one of their favorite 800 things of the year. Why so many favorites? They're celebrating their 800th issue, of course.

Not only are we one of their top 800 faves, we're actually in the top 100: 59, to be exact - sandwiched between New York's Leslie/Lohman Art Gallery, but above Perez Hilton. Here's what they had to say:

Good thing we can take a little razzing, cuz Queerty.com editor Andrew Belonsky sure dished it out this year! Taking a breather from the bitchery, the former HX peon told us that his favorite “outing” story of ’06 was actually Pluto’s being exposed as a dwarf planet. “I’ve never felt more deceived in my life,” he says.

As for the "former HX peon" bit, just ask Mr. Voss about his career trajectory.

So, who else is on the list? Well, our friends over at Gayz of Our Lives, 114 minutes of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct 2 and Peter Berlin, to name a few.

• Vin Diesel is not gay. You don't see him with women because he prefers to date in Europe. [NY Post]

• Sharon Stone's lesbian three-way sex scene is edited out of Basic Instinct 2. Directors say it's to keep the movie as mainstream as possible. As if straight guys would really say "Sharon Stone in a lesbian threeway? No, not interested. Let's go see She's The Man instead." Our guess is, they're keeping it to sell in the DVD extras. [GayWired]

• Vibrators were once used by doctors as medical devices--and women started getting sick all the time! Go figure. This article is very funny, please read. [KnightRidder]

• Madonna is learning to krump for her upcoming tour. We're worried the woman is going to break a hip. [NewsWire]

• Adam & Steve stinks, don't bother. If you want to see Parker Posey, wait for her role as Lex Luthor's girlfriend in Superman. We cannot WAIT. [Tribune]

• In response to Massachusetts upholding a 1913 law that forbids marriage that is Illegal in other states--to prevent inter-racial couples from coming North to get married, back when that wasn't allowed--we point you to the rest of Massachusetts' laws which might be of interest. Our favorite: "A woman can not be on top in sexual activities." At least we here at Queerty don't have to worry about THAT. Phew! [DumbLaws]

• Sharon Stone gives the low-down on why oral sex is safer. Seriously, hide your children. [TittleTattle]

• Luke Snyder, the gay teenager on As The World Turns, writes a blog. Not the actor, the character. Reality-TV is scripted, soap characters write real blogs...we're so confused. [LukeSnyder] via [Gaytrix] (GayTrix not safe for work)

• Arjan interviews Anastasia, in preparation for her Palm Springs White Party performance. Yet another breast cancer survivor who is the fiercest. We saw her show in Las Vegas years ago and she was fantastic. Expect great things. [ArjanWrites]

• Speaking of good shows: Sandra Berhnardt is back on Off-Broadway (does that make sense?), now that her program on the almost-was Q Television Network is dunzo. Political commentary, jazz, and filth. No one does it better. [PopMuse]

• Whitney Houston's crack den. Is this news really a surprise? And how has she not been arrested yet? [Jossip]

• Brandon Routh as Superman. He's so hot, it actually makes us angry. [SocialiteLife]

As for Superman's goods, well...we'll let the picture do the talking:

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• Baltimore in Vegas via NYC. Hairspray heads to the desert. [Playbill]

• “Johnny Weir didn't actually skate all that badly yesterday. He was just distracted.” By this guy’s package. [The Malcontent]

• Some of the top 24 contestants on American Idol are a bit old, no? 29 is not old we know, but for American Idol? [Just Jared]

• Rich’s take on Project Runway’s final three. We’ll miss Kara too. [Four Four]

• She’s back! Catch a peek at Basic Instinct 2. [Made In Brazil]

Yesterday we brought you the gayest music of the past year. This time we answer the question "What straights were So Gay in 2005?" Here are our picks. We’re going to refrain from making any Kenny Chesney jokes. Oops, too late!

5. Martha Stewart. The persnickety domestic goddess we all secretly want to be more like had a rollercoaster year. After being locked up with a bunch of female prisoners (we just know she had a bitch of her own behind bars), she busted out bigger than ever. Sure her short-lived version of The Apprentice had a lame catchphrase, but we still watched every week.

4. Sharon Stone. Out magazine slapped her on its list of the 100 most noteworthy gay and straight allies for the year. But it wasn’t her short dykey ‘do that got her on that list or ours. It's her love for The Gays. She’s been a strong supporter of both gay rights and AIDS research as the Chair of amfAR. Next up for Ms. Stone: reprising her role as bi femme fatale in Basic Instinct 2. We can’t wait.

3. Gavin Newsom. We know that it was last year that San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed gays to marry in his city, but he makes our 2005 list because he continues to be an incredibly outspoken proponent of gay rights. Just this month he pulled out as honorary co-chairman of a benefit for a Tennesse congressman who voted in favor of a ban on same-sex marriage. Take that right wingers.

2. Kanye West. This year superstar Kanye West had the balls to stand up against homophobic lyrics in hip hop. Not something that happens often (if at all) in the music world, where artists like Eminem take cheap shots at the gay community as often as they can. Not only did he not lose any cred, he gained a hell of a lot more respect from everyone, mostly from us gays.

Our number one het for 2005 after the jump.

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We love, love, love Sharon Stone. We just can’t get enough of the diva, her dykey hairstyles, or her incoherent speeches.

But we never thought we'd see these words placed together. Alas, there they are: "Written by Sharon Stone."

Our lady Sharon has written a song. Well, co-written.

The song “Come Together Now” features a slew of artists (Both Celine and twink of the moment Aaron Carter make an appearance) and benefits the victims of Hurricane Relief.

We instantly downloaded the song off of iTunes. After enduring several listens, our boyfriend pointed out what he thought might be Stone’s contribution: Kelly Price belts out “yes, yes, yes, yes.” Sounds like our girl Sharon.

We think everyone should purchase the single. Not to further encourage Sharon’s songwriting but to help the people of one of our favorite American cities: New Orleans. We want to make sure the place is in tip top shape for Mardi Gras in a few months.

Oh, and get ready for Stone's next undertaking as, what else, a film director.

• We're not into golden showers, but according to the IMDB "before success as an actor, Jake Gyllenhaal worked as a lifeguard. He never had any life-saving incidents, but did perform one lesser rescue. A swimmer had been stung on the leg by a jellyfish, and Gyllenhaal helped relieve the pain of the stings -- by urinating on the swimmer's leg." Thanks SloppyJoe.

• Some gays over on Gay.com give advice on pick-up lines that actually work. One states “Just stare at me until we make eye contact.” Because that’s hot, not creepy.

• Um, why weren’t we invited to this?

• Out is about to release its OUT 100 list of the people who have made significant contributions to gay life. They are also throwing a party tonight and we’re going. Mission: meet Sharon Stone.

• Classic Toby has returned: “If there's one thing I like, it's a muscle-bound stud who casually wears a jockstrap stuffed with the trappings of a mid-90s rave. “ Thank God.