We gays have always loved tragic figures (Judy), bad films (Madonna's), and big hair (Cher). So it is not that surprising that Showgirls has remained a cult classic in our eyes much like the beloved John Waters' films, Rocky Horror, and Baby Jane. Two new shows are reinventing the Elizabeth Berkely/Gina Gershon masterpiece, which is nearing its 10th anniversary.

Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever Made. Ever! is a parody production being performed by the hilarious Upright Citizen’s Brigade for one night only in NYC on October 29th. “It’s half staged reading, half Inside the Actor’s Studio, and half female empowerment, Eszterhas style.” It will also be packed full of homos.

We are even more excited to see Harvey Finklestein’s Sock Puppet Showgirls. The show “is a unique and unauthorized parody of Showgirls as performed by sock puppets." We have been told, “if you haven't seen sock puppets pole dance, you haven't experienced the true power of the theater.” The show runs October 15th through the 30th. We cannot wait to check it out.

The fabulous queens over at Spin Cycle are giving a lucky Queerty reader in New York a pair of tickets to see Sock Puppet Showgirls. All you need to do is write a Showgirls inspired haiku and send it over. The winner will be announced on Friday.

What better way to celebrate Showgirls’s tenth anniversary than with sock puppets! The Harvey Finklestein Institute’s Sock Puppet Showgirls returns to New York City for the last two weeks in October. This might just be better than the camp classic movie.

We’re glad to hear the puppets are all very anatomically correct. Delicious cloth titties and booty abound. Elizabeth Berkley herself might just be jealous of the Nomi Malone puppet’s impressive acting ability.

We think using the sock Kyle MacLachlan wore to cover his privates while filming his nude scenes in the movie would have added a certain something more. And we would have gladly volunteered to stick our hands up that sock ourselves.

With Avenue Q filling the West Coast quotient for raunchy puppets in Vegas, this show is worth TiVoing Desperate Housewives for. You know “it doesn’t suck.”

Get your tickets here, but remember to bring your own pasties.

What I wouldn’t give to be one of Kathy Griffin’s gays.

Joel Stein of The Los Angeles Times infiltrates Griffin and her gang of “gays” who she gets together with each week to participate in one of Queerty’s favorite activities: watching trashy reality TV. And the sassy ladies know how to party; they’ve all attended Backstreet Boys concerts, Janice Dickinson’s new one-woman show (a commentator’s dream) and also arrange cool scavenger hunts for Shannon Elizabeth’s birthday with the most ball-busting mission ever:

“The biggest argument of the meeting splits the group in two: Kelly Clarkson is performing in Las Vegas the same weekend as the annual Shannon Elizabeth scavenger hunt, which they organize with the Showgirls actress for her birthday. The winner is the first one to find Elizabeth's career.”

Stein proves how unworthy he is of basking in Griffin’s queenness by confusing Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkeley with the far less entertaining Elizabeth. How so very hetero of him.

A true gay would never make such a terrible mistake. Kathy, call me.