Tongues are still wagging over the Ryan Seacrest/Simon Cowell closet outing thing on Tuesday's episode of Fox's American Idol. Last night, everyone's favorite MSNBC newsman, the ever-lovable Keith Olbermann (who, we have to admit, is only our favorite MSNBC newsman because his is the only show on MSNBC we bother to watch) hosted everyone's favorite Village Voice homo-journo, Michael Musto, to discuss the altercation.

Ever eloquent, Musto described the scene thus, "This was the gayest TV since Anderson Cooper introduced Thomas Roberts the other night." Olbermann laughed, "I'm sorry, I don't know if if I can get over the analogy there - I don't think I can." Oh, Olbermann, you're such a cut-up.

This morning, the eternally creepy Don Imus apparently played the Musto/Olbermann exchange, which spurred producer Bernard McGuirck to reply, "He dragged Anderson Cooper into the bath house so to speak..." Easily confused, Imus later asked CNN's Lou Dobbs if Cooper's a gaywad. Equally confused - or uncharacteristically tight-lipped, Dobbs said, "Uh, I have no idea..." Note it wasn't a flat out "no."

(PS: Follow this link to virtual matter for video of Musto on Olbermann on Seacrest.)

Speaking of gagging, here's Pretty on the Outside's ultra disturbing visual of "Sex Simon" and "Racy Ryan"'s extracurricular relationship.

This horrid image comes in response to Ryan and Simon's sorta, kinda outing exchange on Tuesday's episode of American Idol. Either that or it's a sick fantasy.

Anyway you cut it, it's pretty gross.

• So, Italian PM Romano Prodi's handed in his resignation over some bullshit - apparently he wanted expand the US military base northern Italy and send more troops to Afghanistan, but some colleagues thought that the price too high. That doesn't constitute quitting, we don't think. But is sure is a convenient death for that gay marriage bill, huh? [BBC News]

• Meanwhile, things are a fright down over in Tanzania. Apparently there's a man-raping bat demon on the loose and the only way to stop it's by getting lubed up and sleeping with a bunch of men. Actually, we may have found our next travel destination... [BBC News via Can O Whoop Ass]

• From man-raping bat demons to soul-sucking brain zombies: the cinematic backdrop for The Georgraphy Club author and known homosexual, Brent Hartinger's latest title: Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies. We haven't read it, but we're down for pretty much anything that involves zombies. [AfterEllen Blog]

• In other soul-sucking brain zombie news: Howard K. Stern. [TMZ]

• Despite all these crumbling governments and ghoulish monsters, there's still more Oprah on Ellen Promotional Madness! (Co-Starring Steadman.) [YouTube]

• At least Guantanamo's got something going for it: Gaytanamo. [Gay Porn Blog]

• Oh, right, we forgot about yesterday's weirdness: that spiteful exchange between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest. You kids can fill in the blanks, we're sure. [IHT]

• UPDATE: Don't forget to come get drunk with us at the Jimmy Im endorsed, eastern bloc housed Goodtimes. Details after the jump...

[Read On ...]

Poor Victoria "Mrs. David" Beckham. She really, really wants America to like her, but sometimes it seems like The States will never appreciate her utter ridiculousness. Luckily, she's got a few things up her sleeves. Or, rather, on her chest. The Daily Mail reports:

In her quest to become a U.S. television star, Victoria Beckham is prepared to use every asset at her disposal.

And that means two in particular.

Mindful of the Americans' fondness for spectacular cleavage, the 32-year-old mother of three has been taking every opportunity to show off her ever-growing breasts.

Of course, if that doesn't work, she's allegedly in talks with former Spice Girls manager and Simon Cowell's better production half Simon Fuller to start a show that's described as a "cross between Project Catwalk (The British Project Runway) and Next Top Model."

Great. Just what we need: more fluffy fashion reality television and another set of talking tits. Shit, who are we kidding? If Posh gets a show here in America, we'll be hooked even before it starts.

We've been so bogged on our end that we didn't get a look at the fall tv schedule, so you can only imagine the ironic joy we felt upon discovering Fox's new Celebrity Duets. While certainly no Dancing With The Stars - because that's actually good - it has serious potential to become our weekly disaster show. Naturally, Simon Cowell's behind this...

Here's the brilliant set-up: a train wreck of B-C List stars are paired with notable musicians in a competition to see who doesn't suck as much as they others. Among the illustrious line-up we have Lea Thompson, Gold-Medal Gymnast Carly Patterson looking more robust than when we last saw her, reformed stoner Cheech Marin, and not so fresh prince Alfonso Robeiro. Of course, the queer and pseudo-queer are represented by Jai Rodriguez and Hal Sparks, respectively, while hyper-masculine wrestler Chris Jericho shows his softer side. The real singers include LeAnn Womack, Michael Bolton, and a cadaver-esque Randy Travis. It's too bad Smokey Robinson and Gladys Knight got wrapped up in this mess, too.

Surprisingly, Jai Rodriguez doesn't suck. In fact, he's kind of good. When he found out he'd be singing with Gladys Knight, he totally fagged out and called his mom. To be fair, we'd probably do the same thing.

Another high note: judge Little Richard reminds us of a Jewish grandmother, only on more pills. And in a cheaper wig.

If you missed it, there's a "special" encore tomorrow on Fox. Do yourself a favor and take a gander.

During an interview on Howard Stern's Sirius radio program, Simon Colwell predicted the three finalists for this season of American Idol:

"Let me tell you who's gonna be in the finals," Cowell said. "The bald-headed kid (Chris Daughtry) and the guy with gray hair (Taylor Hicks)."

A few minutes later, he added, "I think the top three will be the two I mentioned and Kellie Pickler."

While Simon is trying to portray himself as the all-knowing soothsayer of music competitions, we presume he can read the weekly reports on how many votes are cast for each contestant. So he would know who has been in the lead so far. It's not that fancy a prediction.

Although when we TiVo Idol, we do fast-forward through comments by "Uhhhhhh, it was alright for me" Randy Jackson and "Your light shines from within" Paula Abdul, and only watch Simon's snappy critiques--unless Paula is drunk/high, in which case we watch her comments over and over. Cracked-out Paula is the best. But Simon's opinions aren't inherently any more accurate than the other judges: remember, in the preliminary audition stages, he gave "no" votes to both Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks. Suddenly, he's changing his tune?...

Simon picks Idol finalists

This season of American Idol is amazing, but not because of the singers. The singers are good though they’d better watch out because Abdul is slowly stealing their spotlight. We’re convinced that Abdul is back to popping the pills. Either she had a Botox session go amazingly wrong or the girl has had a few recent visits from the pill fairy. We went crazy with our Tivo on Tuesday looping back and forward watching Abdul’s drug induced responses. Abdul continuously referred to the singers’ performances as “out of this world.” Secretly, we think she was referring to her state of consciousness, or lack thereof. The combination of the fidgety turret syndrome-like head movements, coupled with the bad drag queen hair and the scary pill-popping smile made it perfectly clear.

Pill popping Abdul aside, we still have to predict who will win this season. Don’t hate us for doing this, but we’re predicting Katherine McPhee will take it all. She’s cute, girl can sang and after dropping the Streisand, I’m sure she has the gays on her side. We also like her because Abdul loves her and her pill poppy behavior really shows itself when McPhee is on stage. Simon put it best:

McPhee, the final contestant to take the stage, earned Cowell's highest praise of the night, with her performance of Barbra Streisand's "Since I Fell for You. "There were four very, very good vocalists tonight," Cowell said. "And you were the best."

Our predictions aside, somebody stage an intervention with Abdul, but not until the season is over.

Ladies First on "American Idol [E! Online]
American Idol [Official Site]