• Simon Doonan's job is just one challenge after another. He had to travel down to Dallas to organize a fashion show and then comment on the designs! Things got so hectic that he couldn't remember the model's names! How'd he cope? By breaking every stereotypical moniker rule in the book:

...I had no time to gather their names. This left me with no choice other than to assign fake monikers. I gave all the white Nordic girls names like Taneesha and Shaneequa. All the black gals got Euro-trash, aristo-sounding names like Fabuleena and Fallopia. To the male models, I assigned more straightforward names like Irving and Igor.

• The NAACP and Jasmyne Cannick are not homies, okay? [Jasmyne Cannick]

• The ACLU and some faglings fought successful to establish a GSA at California's Madera High School. Go team! [San Diego Union-Tribune]

• People love the Queerty-sponsored, Svedka-stocked, (New York's best new gay bar) eastern bloc-housed Wednesday party, Good Times! [twerking]

• Meanwhile, Iranian Pop stars love making fun of Mullahs through music! [Radar]

• Philosophy! What is it good for? Everything when discussing homosexuality through the thoughts and theories of Thomas Aquinas and how they relate to the Catholic Church. [Stephen Law]

• Richard Rothstein and Madame are daytime drinking buddies. We think they need to invite us next time they go on an afternoon binge. [QueerSighted]

• Here ye, here ye! We're now officially naming reader Tracy the nerdiest, most fabulous person in human history. She sent us an email informing us that she once worked on a Teen Witch "Where Are They Now". While time and endless drug abuse/sluttery have destroyed most of her brain cells, she still remembers a thing or two. Details (and a picture of Louise's little brother grown into a somewhat alarming man) after the jump.

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The Oscars sure were lesbianic, huh? We had Ellen hosting, Jodie scowling, Portia vamping, Melissa singing and winning.

One would think that Hollywood had become one big lesbian meet-and-greet. According to uber-fashionista and known homosexual, Simon Doonan, it has.

And what's more, we should have seen it coming.

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• Three out politicians were elected in Ohio last night. We thought that only happens in San Francisco.

• Texans approved a ban on gay marriage yesterday and in Maine the voters upheld a law giving protection from discrimination to homosexuals. We are thinking a fall foliage trip to Maine is in order.

• Bradford’s hometown of Baltimore needs a makeover. Somebody call Simon Doonan stat!

• London Terrace Towers in Chelsea has some new rules: "No one may touch or fondle [themselves or] another person in any part of the Pool or the Health Club facility.” Famous residents Annie Leibovitz and Debbie Harry are probably happy with the new policy. Matthew has yet to comment. Via Gawker.

• Sharon Osbourne says Madonna looks like an old hooker. She would know. Her daughter looks like a fat hooker.

Most ceramists don't have a manifesto. Then again, most ceramists are not Jonathan Adler. He is the the partner to Barneys' creative director Simon Doonan and the maker of retro, kitsch house must-haves. Jonathan Adler's work is remarkable. Whether a Valley of the Dolls inspired pill dish or one of his decorative fishes, each piece of his work has personality. And they are all so gay.

His manifesto includes some choice words:

We believe that when it comes to decorating, the wife is always right. Unless the husband is gay.

We believe minimalism is a bummer.

We believe handcrafted tchotchkes are life-enhancing.

We believe in our muses: David Hicks, Alexander Girard, Bonnie Cashin, Hans Coper, Gio Ponti, Andy Warhol, Leroy Neiman, Yves Saint Laurent, and Madonna.

We believe in being underdressed or overdressed always.

We believe in infantile, happy emblems like butterflies and hearts.

We believe celebrities should pay full price.

We believe in rustic modernism: Big Sur, A-Frame beach houses, raw beams, and geodesic dome homes.

We believe our designs are award winning even though they've never actually won any.

We believe colors can't clash.

We believe Adler is a genius.