• It's a miracle! We have tomorrow off. Yes, we know, it's going to be hard for you to go three whole days without our sparkling text. So, to tide you over, here's a little montage from everyone's favorite gay bank robber love story, Plata Quemada. Just pretend we're with you, readers. We'll be back before you know it...

• If you guys don't know rapper Tippy, you should. Seriously, because she's going to be big and it you follow this link, you can tell all your friends about her and look really cool. Not that you're not cool, but a little extra proof never hurts...

• Billy Packer's response to the "fag out" comment? No, he didn't in the gay sense. Yes, he'll continue saying it. No, he won't apologize. Yes, he's a douche bag. Okay, we added that last bit, but it's still true.

• George Michael's in Texas visiting boyfriend Kenny Goss' hometown. And, we're sure, get arrested for either smoking pot, driving recklessly or cottaging. Or, possibly, all three.

• Some nutter walked around the Milwaukee Art Museum for a few hours, removed his shirt, thus revealing numerous tattoos (including one of Koko the gorilla), took the Ottavio Vannini's "The Triumph of David" off the wall and started to kick it. Why did he get so violent with a $300,000 art classic? Because it "disturbed" him. And, as we mentioned, he's a total crazy man.

• More Soulforce arrests! This time three activists got nabbed at Bob Jones University.

• VHS is officially dead. (PS: Did you know VHS was still alive?)

• Whitney Houston won custody of her daughter. As if you're surprised.

• GLAAD released a statement on The Dog House/A Brief Smile scandal. Not surprisingly, they made no mention of our story. They may have forgotten us, but we'll never forget them.

• Speaking of forgetting - did you forget to come to the Queerty-sponsored (and Genre, too), Jimmy Im spun, eastern bloc-housed, Svedka-soaked Good Times last night? Well, see what you missed, after the jump...

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Earlier this week we reported on a series of Soulforce-related arrests, twelve of which took place at the Kentucky-based Southern Baptist Theological Seminary: the allegedly Christian institution homo-hating Reverend Albert Mohler calls home.

Nearly two dozen of the god-loving gay activists staged a sit-in at Mohler's office in hopes of opening a dialogue with Mohler. Though ten left, the remaining twelve were not deterred. That is, until coppers nabbed them and led them away in cuffs. Mohler may not have wanted to chat wit the kids then, but he had plenty to say in a recent sermon when he asked his followers to pray for the Soulforcer's souls. He spewed, "We need to pray for their salvation, not merely their salvation from homosexuality, but their salvation from sin and death".

Mohler also offered this head scratcher:

We should always be ready to give an answer for the hope that is in us. We should always be ready to speak on behalf of Christian truth, on behalf of the truth of God's Word. We should always, above all things, be ready to speak about the Gospel.

Hmm, if he's so eager to talk spiritual shop, why didn't he take Soulforce up on their offer? We think it's because he's a douche who can't follow his own - or his allegedly all-loving God's - word. But, that's just us.

Oh, and also, Mohler, you can count us out of your prayers. They sound more like curses to us.

Mohler: Pray for homosexual activists [Baptist Press]

Those Soulforce Equality Riders sure do have a knack of getting arrested. Twelve activists have been nabbed by coppers after protesting Baptist Reverend Albert Mohler's recent remarks on detecting and reversing prenatal homosexuality:

If a biological basis is found, and if a prenatal test is then developed, and if a successful treatment to reverse the sexual orientation to heterosexual is ever developed, we would support its use as we should unapologetically support the use of any appropriate means to avoid sexual temptation and the inevitable effects of sin.

In an effort to induce an apology, the Riders staged a sit-in at Mohler's Lousiville, Kentucky-based Southern Baptist Theological Seminar office. Though ten left after a half-hour, twelve stood strong. That is, until the strong arm of the law got to them.

Meanwhile, RiderKyle DeVries got collared after protesting at Mississippi College after taking "four steps," according to his account. Once released, the riders again hit the road, only to be stopped by coppers who warned them to "get out of town" "The final time the officer interacted with the bus driver he threatened to arrest him if he did not follow his order." When the protesters suggested the cops may be infringing on their constitutional rights, the flatfoots told them they were a "safety concern".

And, on Friday, members were jailed for chalking peaceful messages at Baylor University.

It's good to know these good American "Christians" have so much love, no? Especially when the Riders are there to celebrate their God's love for all mankind.

The Equality Riders woke up to some naughty obscenities after a group of punk haters went wacko with some lipstick. The gay activists on wheels had just kicked off their second annual tour and stopped by Dordt College in Sioux City, Iowa.

In case you're not up on all the activist gossip, the Soulforce Equality Ride tours the country and goes to universities to discuss "the damaging effects of homophobic doctrine, the false notion that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender identities are sick and sinful". That is, why butt fuckers and carpet muncher won't be rotting in hell. Dordt College students seem to think otherwise, for among the graffiti one can see some scrawling that appears to say, "God doesn't like gay feary [sic] fucks".

They also left images of penises and this image to the right. We think it's supposed to be a vagina, a hypothesis founded on nothing but the fact that it was right next to the aforementioned penis. If it is meant to be a vagina, it's not a very good rendition. Also, why did they put a vagina next to a penis? Shouldn't the vagina go with another vagina?

Oh well, best not to expect too much from such a brood. The haters, however, guaranteed a spot in our annal of queer graffiti: Yeah, Spray It!

Too bad it wasn't under better circumstances, huh?

• Army Staff Sgt. Edmundo F. Estrada from Virginia's Fort Eustis has been charged with rape, indecent assault, having an inappropriate relationship with a trainee, and cruelty and maltreatment of subordinates, after another solider alleged Estrada forced him to dress up like Superman and then, well, raped him. He told his victim that he'd previously "help soldiers with their self-confidence and alleviate depression". Um right... Could it be Devery L. Taylor's going to get a cell mate? [Pilot Online]

• The media's been so focussed on Ann Coulter's faggot flinging that no one's acknowledging her suggestion that gays should be Republicans: "Gays make a lot of money and are victims of crime... [And] Republicans are anti-tax and anti-crime." Lane Hudson says she's sort of, not really saying gays should be protected by hate crime laws. Do you agree or do you think Hudson's had a few too many poppers? [News From The Left]

• Long Hill, New Jersey mayor and practicing lesbian Gina Genovese will be running for Senator. That's really all you need to know. [The Star Ledger]

• Soulforce rides again! And they're coming to a town near you! [Soulforce]

• So, too, are Scissor Sisters! [Scissor Sisters]

• We knew it all along: Britney Spears is the anti-Christ! [Mollygood]

• Rich old tax evader and gay marriage activist Charles Merill wants to be the next non-gay gay artistic messiah. To this end, he's entered a painting into Charles Saatchi's art competition, Smackdown. And, not surprisingly, he wants you vote. How do we know? He sent out his own press release. [Earth Times]

• DNC Chairman Howard Dean on the late AIDS activist, Bob Hattoy: "This weekend, America lost a true champion for justice. Aside from being a fierce advocate on causes ranging from LGBT rights and HIV issues, to civil liberties and the environment, Bob Hattoy was a wonderfully charming man with a tremendous sense of humor... Through Bob's life and service to our country, we are all reminded of the need to do more to encourage greater participation of all Americans, including gays and lesbians, in our political process." [365 Gay]

It's been a little while since we checked in our favorite disgraced Evangelical pastor, Ted Haggard and, quite frankly, were were beginning to miss him.

Now, don't get too excited. There's no new hooker, nor are there any fresh drug allegations. In fact, it's really not even scandalous, but we wanted to bring up some things and have a nice chat real quick.

Loyal readers of this site know that we've had a laugh or ten at poor Teddy's expense. How could we not? He helped perpetuate homophobia while secretly sucking dick. It's a pretty gross offense (the hypocritical homophobia, not the fellatio). It's easy to jump down his throat, then, and make a little fun.

According the Christian-minded gay activist group Soulforce, however, people need to take a step back and empathize with Haggard's epic struggle. Soulforce spokeswoman Paige Schilt says:

Haggard has now been referred to the same treatment that has threatened the mental and spiritual health of countless gay men and lesbians. We hope that many will see this as an opportunity to reach out in empathy ... We want to make sure that the voices of intolerance and homophobia are not the only voices that he hears during this difficult time.

And, you know what? She's right: Haggard's downfall is emblematic of the dangers of religious repression and self-hate. It's not pretty, especially considering that Haggard's gone into hiding for "sexual counseling" (read: defagification).

While Haggard's being assisted by a few of his Evangelical buddies, the crux of his "restoration" will be organized by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality - the nation's premiere reparative therapy group specializing in helping people...um..."cope" with their homo ways.

Sure, we personally think that it's pretty sad, but consider this statement from NARTH president Joseph Nicolosi:

If this man is saying, 'This is a part of me that I abhor,' why can't we respect that? Why do we have to attribute that to something external and take away the dignity of the individual to express how he feels?

We hate to admit it, but Nicolosi's got a point: if a man wants to repress himself, even at the threat of magnified depression and possibly suicide, who are we to judge?

The moral of the story, if there is one, is that we do feel bad for Ted Haggard. We feel bad that he's been born with such little backbone that he can't use this scandal as a springboard for change. Instead he's allowing himself to be brainwashed by a bunch of idiots just because of some hackneyed threat of damnation.

It's sort of like when you see some dumb kid eating paste: you know it's bad for them but they look so happy that you can't bring yourself to take it away. You just have to shake your head and say, "What a dumb little fucker". And then, of course, have a bit of a giggle.

Two intrepid activists from Soulforce (the people who rode around on buses getting arrested at various Christian colleges) will try to join the army today as an act of protest against "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." We wonder if they will actually meet with a recruiter or if they will be shown the door for arriving in a huge pink bus. Hopefully the police won't be called in to quell the disorder that these two homos might cause, because we all know: the very infrastructure of the army could be threatened if these prospective recruits tell without being asked.

Openly gay men try to enlist in military [Washington Blade]
Soulforce [Official Site]

• Opponents of samesex marriage shouldn't get their panties in a bunch. In the places where the gays can marry legally, not very many of them are choosing to do it. [AP]

• Twenty West Point cadets, 14 of whom are straight, anonymously donated $670 to the Soulforce Equality Ride. The "cuteness" of one of the one of the female riders was a reason cited for the donation. Those randy army ladies can be such rascals. [Ex-gay Watch]

• Even with the internal support, twenty-one Soulforce riders were detained briefly yesterday and then released with tickets after trying to demonstrate at West Point to protest Don't Ask, Don't Tell. [365 Gay]

• An openly gay former staffer for President Clinton has called for a boycott of donations to the Democratic party until they make a commitment to countering anti-gay initiatives. We will gladly participate since we are completely broke anyway. [Washington Blade]

A bill is being passed through the US Congress that would allow religious schools to bypass local non-discrimination laws, and legally reject students that do not fit their religious doctrines.

The bill, an amendment to the Higher Education Act, says that school accrediting boards cannot make adherence to non-discrimination laws a requirement.

Obviously, this is in reaction to issues like the Soulforce Equality Ride, as well as the University of the Cumberlands' decision to expel a student for saying he is gay. Cumberlands, a private religious school, is supposed to receive public funding for a new School of Pharmacy, but the ACPE (Accreditation Council for Pharmacy Education) may not approve any school that does not abide by its policy of non-discrimination, which (thankfully) includes sexual orientation. Oops.

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• Out Magazine has a new editor, Aaron Hincklin, and Andrew Sullivan heapes glowing praise on the magazine for hiring a heterosexual for the job. "I think it's great that a straight guy is now heading up a gay magazine," says Sullivan. " Integration is now the baseline from which many of us operate. Good for Out for being unafraid to pick talent over identity." We agree it's an interesting choice for a gay magazine to pick a straight editor ...except, um, Aaron Hincklin is not straight. Not one bit. He's as homosexual as Big Gay Al and his carrot cake. Sorry, Andrew, wrong YET AGAIN. [TheDailyTransom]

• New York superstar-weatherman Sam Champion's honey-bunny is all over Manhunt; of particular interest to those who are friendly with the fists--and not in the Mike Tyson kind of way. [Jossip]

• Madonna is not her father's favorite singer: "I'm sorry to say it's a tossup between Tony Bennett and Celine Dion." [PRNewswire]

•...Speaking of Esther: Her concerts are so beyond sold out. Buy tickets immediately on Ebay before they're gone. [Ebay Las Vegas] and [Ebay Chicago]

• The Soulforce Riders had so much fun getting arrested at BYU on Monday, they decided to stick around and do it again. This time, they marched on campus and fell to the ground in a staged "die-in" to symbolize gay Mormons who committed suicide. We know they're nutzo, but we're beginning to like these Soulforcers a lot. They're starting to become fun. If you're going to get arrested, you might as well make it a show. [IndyBay]

• The Soulforce Arrestmobile stops off in Utah, at Brigham Young University; five people get cuffed. We're not sure what they were expecting. After all, this is the school that kicked out Julie from The Real World New Orleans, after she was filmed sleeping in the same room as a boy--and sharing a house with a homosexual! Mormons don't mess around, just watch Big Love and you'll see. [Salt Lake Tribune]

• Also in the "no duh" category: San Francisco has been officially recognized as the world's gayest city, with 20% of all men being of the homosexual variety. Big fun. Although we didn't know 25% of them have HIV. Not that San Francisco is a hotbed of HIV infections; in fact, the city is seeing a 10% drop in HIV infections among gay men.

We presume the high numbers are a result of people with HIV moving to San Francisco, to take advantage of the excellent health care, as well as HIV+ people who are generally much healthier with the current medications available than they were in the past. [Reuters]

• Chrysler Motors is drawing the ire of an ever-increasing mass of people for it's "Silly Little Fairy" ads. We've watched the commercial a few more times, and we agree it's pretty rude. There's laughing with, and then there's laughin at. We're just wondering: where is the "Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation" (GLAAD) in all of this? Oh, handing out awards to Charlize Theron for a movie she did three years ago, so they can sell tickets to a party and keep the money. They're much to busy to be doing any actual work countering defamation. [ConsumerAffairs] and [24/7Gay]

• Paula Abdul claims she got drunk and fell down was assaulted by a man at a "private party" over the weekend. Oh Paula, just because Fox signed you for three more years doesn't mean you can go starting fights. [AP]

• Kids in California won't have to rely on their parents to teach them what "gay" is for much longer if a controversial new bill is passed that would require homosexuality to be addressed in a positive way in school textbooks. So now instead of "James Buchanan the bachelor President," California might teach "James Buchanan the possibly gay President who lived with a man that many called 'Aunt Fancy.'" [Pink News]

• A fraternity at the University of Vermont allegedly engaged in Brokeback Mountain-themed hazing, which is illegal in Vermont (hazing, not cowboys fucking). We hope that photos surface. [WCAX]

• Child molestation between adults and their step-children is totally legal in Connecticut as long as both parties are the same sex. At least for now. [Washington Blade]

• Those intrepid Soulfource Equality Ride members (are there any left that aren't in jail?) are taking their big bus to the Mormons. [Deseret News]