• Johnny Hazzard as the porn star-cum-singer with a new (music) video, "Deeper into You." [Gay Porn Blog]

• Whitney Houston as NewNowNext's Ultimate Diva. [NewNowNext]

• Jeanne Moos as the one of the smartest reporters in history who also compares Shiloh Jolie Pitt's cuteness with that of a baby panda. [Best Week Ever]

• UK gay couples as themselves getting full adoption rights. [The Times]

• Lane Hudson as the troublemaker who recalls what he thought nine weeks ago. [The Advocate]

• Star Jones and Al Reynolds as the illustrated versions of themselves courtesy of Pretty on the Outside. Co-starring Santa. [Pretty on The Outside]

• Porn producer Michael Lucas as himself describing himself to Hedda Lettuce as "I’m an evil Jewish mongoose high on silicone." Happy Chanukah/Hanukkah! [HX]

• President Bush "dismayed" by Foley scandal. Well, at least one Republican's caught off guard. [The New York Times]

• Kelly Preston explains hubbie John Travolta's seemingly-gay kiss. "He's the nanny." Yeah, that old story. [National Post]

• Star Jones and Al Reynolds pack up for Miami. Oh, man, now they'll never get over those pesky Al's a big fucking homo rumors. [Page Six]

• Even more gay television. Wheeee! [Planet Out]

• After all their support, HRC admonishes Foley. It's about time. [Human Rights Campaign]

• Refinery 29 hearts Loden Dager. We did first, though. [Refinery 29]

• South African officials encourage penal HIV tests. Data will help allocate funds. Goes to show you: a little prick can do a lot of good. [All Africa]

We're not big into talk shows, particularly when they involve middle-aged women yacking over each other, but we couldn't resist tuning in to The View for uber-lesbo Rosie O'Donnell's take over after the ouster of Star Jones.

So far we've seen her dispense toilet-training tips and discuss how she takes baths with her kids. Apparently bath time's a great time to discuss the important life topics. Sample question: "Mommy, when am I getting my fur?"

The idea of Rosie taking a bath with her child and discussing her bush brings new meaning to the word "disturbing."

What a thoughtful husband is Al Reynolds. Now that wife Star Jones is out of work and no media outlet will touch her with a ten foot liposuction hose, husband Al Reynolds is doing all he can to make sure she gets back to work and, more importantly, starts bringing home the bacon again.

For that reason, we won't make any jokes about the following item in Page Six:

STAR Jones and hubby Al Reynolds were back from their European vacation for only a couple of hours last week when Reynolds left his wife at home to hit the clubs with the guys. He arrived at Lotus with three young men "in tight pants" and a woman and partied for a few hours before going home to Jones. But a pal of Reynolds says he may have just been trying to help his underemployed spouse get a job, telling us: "Al went out with the new female host of '106th and Park' and a group of executives from BET.

Yes, because executives are always "young" and wear "tight pants." We won't question Al's negotiating tactics, as we assume he is quite proficient at playing (with) hardball(s). Whoops.

SUPPORTIVE AL [Page Six]

• Turns out Lisa Kudrow thought HBO would give her at least two seasons to play Valerie Cherish. [LAT]

• The new FDNY calendar features Survivor winner Tom Westman — and other guys whose abs are more chiseled. [Towleroad]

• More PR trouble for Star Jones comes from today's Page Six, with a lead item documenting a late-night alleged gentlemen caller looking for Al Reynolds. [Page Six]

• Chad Allen's Shock To The System opens in selected cities today (read: Like always, New York and Los Angeles residents get to see the queer flicks before anyone else). [NYT]

• In the U.K., a man convicted of knowingly infecting his boyfriend with HIV gets sentenced to more than four years in prison. Now officials just have to find him. [BBC]

We don't have to make the gay jokes about Star Jones' husband Al Reynolds just to catch you up to speed, do we? Hopefully not, because by the time we've gotten through our intro, their union may be over.

Last week Al Reynolds visited the offices of the divorce law firm Blank Rome LLP in New York's Chrysler building. MediaTakeOut.com spoke exclusively with a building employee who first noticed Star's soon-to-be-ex. According to the witness, "Al walked up to the security desk and signed in to visit [one of the Blank Rome's divorce lawyers] Stanford Lotwin."

Mr. Lotwin is one of the most prominent divorce attorney's in New York. He worked on the high-profile divorces of Howard Stern, Donald Trump, Geraldo Rivera and Diana Ross.

After remaining upstairs for nearly two hours, Al tried to quietly sneak out of the building. But before he could leave, the witness tells MediaTakeOut.com, "I walked up to him and said 'Al, is that you', and Al ran out of the building - almost knocking over a pregnant woman."

AL REYNOLDS VISITS HIGH-PROFILE DIVORCE LAWYER [Media Take Out]

• When Cynthia Nixon talks about her relationships with men, she's basically just saying "they helped me figure out I like the muff much, much better." [LSE]

• Yes, The Real World is still on the air and continues to tape new seasons. The only way to get us takling about it, of course, is with their gay cast members. It also doesn't hurt if said gay cast members visit gay pride parades, as Denver's Davis did. [Towleroad]

• Star Jones is officially quitting The View in mid-July, which means no more egregious product placements. Well, at least until Rosie O'Donnell shows up in September. [MollyGood]

You might know openly-gay comedian Mario Cantone either from his stand-up act or as one of the gay friends on Sex and the City. Well he could be about to enter another savage estrogen jungle as the first male guest host of The View now that Meredith Vieira has taken Katie Couric's spot on the Today show.

The one obstacle to his being placed on the show could be Star Jones, because she apparently found out that Mario regularly mocks her not-gay husband Al Reynolds in his stand-up act, often going so far as to suggest that Al is not-not-gay. We think Star and Mario should settle things a la Project Runway: with a walk-off!

Is Mario Cantone Heading to The View?! [D-Listed]

The minibar isn't the only thing that costs extra at the Ostfriesland Hotel in Norden, Germany. They have started charging guests by weight. The exact amount is about 60 cents per 2 pounds, which means that the old Star Jones would be paying about $45 more per night than the new one. Before you feel grateful to the conscientious hotel owners for caring about our general health, remember their reasoning: "Slim guests live longer and can therefore come more often and that is why we reward them."

And we thought it had to do with the bedsprings, in which case how much would a room cost if we put Al Reynolds into the equation with Star? Unfortunately that is a question with an unfathomable (and probably unspeakable) answer.

Fatter bills for hefty hotel guests [Ananova]
Star Jones on Life, Love & Weight Loss [ETonline.com]

• Without a doubt the most frightening photos we’ve seen all year. [D Listed]

• George Michael has been arrested. He was slumped over his SUV's wheel and in possession of GHB and sex toys. [CNN]

• Mark Kraynak and Steve Wright, the two American strippers that were found dead in a quarry in Montreal, are about to be seen again. In a porn. [Bitchless Blog]

• We’re all about comedy and making fun of ourselves. But this is just stupid. [You Tube]

• A 70-year-old trannie substitute teacher’s job is in jeopardy. We think that is messed up, but we just cannot get over the fact that she transitioned in her late 60s. It’s never too late, huh? [365 Gay]

• We’ve just now come across Zsa Zsa Gabor’s fitness video. Brilliant. [Not That Boy]

• Australia's Treasurer says that gays should count their lucky stars the country doesn't criminalize homosexuality. Fortunately for him, being a total idiot is also still legal. [Sydney Morning Herald]

• The FBI has interviewed Morrissey to determine if he might be a threat. He might be if they mean being a talented musician in a world full of droning Simpson sisters. [Towleroad]

• Star Jones is very slow to catch on. She's only now beginning to suspect that her husband might be a big old 'mo. [A Socialite's Life]

• Newsflash! The Golden Girls are gay icons! [AZ Central]

• Yet another reason for New Yorkers to never leave Manhattan. AIDS/HIV cases are increasing in Long Island.[Newsday]

• After Elton covers the media coverage of Johnny Weir. [After Elton]

• That darn “homosexual agenda” is everywhere. This time it’s creeping into sex ed classes. [Christian Science Monitor]

• Dan Renzi’s readers caption Santino Rice. Good Stuff. [Dan Renzi]

• Further proof that God exists: Star Jones may be out at The View. [Yahoo]

• Renee Zellweger will kiss a woman in the upcoming Bridget Jones film. It’s not the first time. She was married to a girl for a while. [Yahoo News]