Internet provider Telecom had some explaining to do after wagging a virtual finger at Gay Hamilton. The New Zealand native received an email warning her against using her first name. Because, you know, "gay" counts as an inappropriate word. From Telecom:

[Your email] was identified by our content filtering processes as containing language that may be considered inappropriate for business-like communication.

The content which caused this to happen was ... 'gay' eight times, at two points each, for an expression score of 16 points.

Yikes, that's dangerously close to technological death row.

Telecom has since apologized to Hamilton for the confusion. While they would not disclose a full list of their naughty words, they did admit that "gay" and "homosexual" "could be deemed as inappropriate for use at work." Good thing we don't use Telecom, huh?

Broadband provider bans Gay [Pink News UK]

The Caribbean ain't the safest place for homos. Just a few weeks ago, some gay, funeral attending Jamaicans found themselves on the receiving end of some good old fashioned homo-hating. The week before that a group of dancing queers got jeered - and hit - by an angry mob. As if that's not bad enough, some fool's popular vacation destination launched a now defunct website calling for the death of all batty boys.

Meanwhile, religious conservatives in Tobago attempted to ban Elton John from a jazz festival. Because, you know, he's so fine and his gay potency would turn all the men lavender. And employees at the Bahamas' Half Moon Cay protested a gay cruise's course past their queer-free grounds.

Though times are tough, not all hope is lost. The Voice reports:

The Caribbean Anti-Violence Project (CAVP), an initiative of the University of the West Indies (UWI), is to launch a web-based documentation project to record incidents of harassment and violence based on homophobia, gender and HIV-related stigma.

UWI Professor and UNESCO regional chair, Dr. David Plummer remarked, “There are real costs to homophobia we are seeing across the region, not just for gay and lesbian people, but for all of us." Meanwhile Tobago's National AIDS Coordinating Committee chairperson, Angela Lee focused on ostracism's health effects:

Stigma and discrimination drive the HIV epidemic underground. Homophobia does the same. Homophobia has contributed to the spread of HIV in this country and the entire Caribbean region.

And, in fact, the world.

• Vacation's can be a refreshing experience. So can shopping. And there ain't no item more refreshing than a finely pressed white shirt. Yeah, they can get a little boring, but Refinery 29's got the skinny on Surface to Air's new "Vent" shirt. It's anything but...

• Talk about unmotherly love: Britain's Zara Care has lost custody of her two-year old son and three-year daughter children after forcing them to fight on camera. As the little boy punched his old sis, 21-year old Care repeatedly called him a "wimp" and a "bloody faggot". We call her a shitting shit mum.

• Scary Spice also trotted her tot in front of the camera, only these were for OK! Too bad Eddie Murphy couldn't make it, because the cover acts as a familial introduction. Or does it?

• Human Rights Campaign wants to make sure your trans coming out is a happy trans coming out.

• Robots! They're more common (and scarier) than you think.

• Kryptonite! Scientists have discovered a mineral resembling kryptonite. It's official. Reality's become a comic book.

Times used to be, if you were a gay man desperate to get out, get drunk and get laid in unfamiliar territory, you'd have to pick up a local rag for the rundown of fag-friendly spots where you could get your man on. With the launch of Google Maps, however, gay listing guides became obsolete. When ClubFly launched they certainly didn't make Google Maps obsolete, but they sure did spruce up and homo-fy the interface! Pop over to the site, throw in your zip and then try to tell us that the whole pink motif and dozens of lost cartoon gayboys peppering the map isn't just the most precious hookup map you ever did see!

But what if you're one of today's gayboys on the move who demands knowing his proximity to the next potential drunken hookup in real time? Well, you're in luck: today ClubFly launched mClubFly for your mobile.

• We found this video over at Best Week Ever and thought we'd pass it along to you. If you ever needed proof that Fox News is a bigger joke than The Daily Show, here it is. Seriously, the anchor's laughing through the entire vasectomy story. There's nothing funny about men getting their tubes tied. Nothing. Vasectomies are totally, unequivocally unfunny. We're not kidding. Okay, we are kidding, but Fox News still sucks impotent balls.

• Ah! Gonorrhea has totally gone super bug!! Does sex have a future?

• German scientists have successfully made "immature sperm" from bone marrow. Wow, talk about fucking with nature. Of course, it's for a good cause: if they can whip these little puppies into shape, they may be able to help with fertility treatment. Or lead to the end of civilization as we know it. It's a toss up.

• Shia LaBeouf will appear in the next Indiana Jones movie. Of course, it'll take another five thousand years for it to be made, but we're sure it'll be worth the wait. That is, if Harrison Ford doesn't die first.

• Turns out the cocaine soda is just as illegal as the real thing. Well, it's marketing is, at least.

• Government looking to dismantle the internet? But where will we go?

• Alvin Tan's older than dirt. And proud of it.

• We know Monday's the furthest thing from your mind right now, but we just wanted to tell you to be on your best behavior for guest editor Gregory Angelo! The former Next EIC will be filling in for that vacation-taking shit bag, Andrew Belonsky. Where's Belonsky off to? Hell. He's got a hot date. Get it? Show Mr. Angelo some love... or else we'll have to send the zombified Giorgio Armani to eat your brains. Scary shit, that...

• Slowly but surely, Madonna's becoming a woman.

• The Jewish Theological Seminary has decided to admit queers. Why can't all religions be so cool?

• A group of techie jokesters hacked Republican presidential hopeful John McCain's MySpace and declared, "Today I announce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay marriage…particularly marriage between two passionate females." This, of course, makes one think of McCain masturbating which leads to severe psychological scarring. Thanks, guys...

• Democratic Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts on gay marriage: "After a couple years, the average heterosexual person forgets gay marriage is there."

• A church security guard apparently pulled a gun on someone trying to take pictures of Britney Spears. Um, church security guards carry guns?

• Greg Scarnici makes a better looking Fergie than Fergie herself.

• Former American Family Association Attorney Joe R Murray on homophobia: "The gay issue is a human issue, and thus I strongly believe that it must be approached with concern and compassion. Furthermore, the individuals engaging in the debate must recognized that behind the theories there are real life human beings that are made in the image of the Creator." We just shat our pants. In a good way, of course...

• Gay performer Charles Knipp aka Shirley Q. Liquor is apparently "not a racist".

You need a new wardrobe. Yeah, we know, shopping can be a pain in the ass, but it is spring and no one wants to see you wear that tired old blue blazer again. For those of you hesitant to venture to the mean streets of Soho or Bond Street, never fear, because you can still get the duds you so desire.

It sounds like it's more interested in covering you than covering up, but Men a la Mode may change the way you shop forever. Urban Daddy explains:

The site is the brainchild of Ali Khan, who wanted to bring equal opportunity to men for purchasing designer duds on the Internet (what a considerate guy). MALM is the first of its kind, stocking only the current season's offerings from top designers (like Emanuel Ungaro, Nicole Farhi and Oliver Goldsmith) that were previously difficult to obtain in one fell swoop without leaving the country, much less your apartment.

This pleases us to no end. Daylight and/or social interaction gives us a rash.

We just took a quick spin and came up with a few suggestions for you, our sartorially-minded and oh-so-attractive reader How about a Sonia Rykiel suit? No? Okay, maybe a Vivienne Westwood canvas shoulder bag? What's that? It's "the worst"?

Hmm, well, maybe the Paul & Joe ensemble pictured above? It may not be your style, but we think it would look smashing on us (hint hint).

Losing a MySpace page has become as American as apple pie. Friends, lovers and enemies are constantly griping about accidental deletions or mysterious vanishings. Toronto-born pop quarter, Kids On TV, however, wrote in to complain about a more explicable, not to mention targeted, virtual attack.

Despite following the News Corp-operated website's strict rules, the Kids suddenly found their page missing, the only explanation coming in generic list form of possible reasons. They allege that MySpace targeted them for their radical political stance and sexually informative lyrics. Now they're fighting back.

CONTINUED »

The internet's truly an incredible invention. Of course you can find anything you want, but ad rolls even help you find sites you didn't even know you wanted. For example, we were paying a visit to our friends over at eTransgender (the same people who brought us this picture) and came across an advert for the Cross Dressing Guide by "Jamie".

The site claims it can help you pass as a genetic woman in just one week! That's right, boy/girls, just one week. But, of course, you have to buy the accompanying book, too. Taken together, you'll learn all sorts of things. For example:

Great! We've always wanted to look like "a slut that you can see at a dance club' - not like those invisible sluts. No, no - when people look at us, we want them to think, "That fucking slut's probably fucked fifteen men in the last hour, at least! I'm going to make it sixteen. That'll show that slutty slut slut."

In an effort to curb conservative charlatans from usurping science for their dastardly ways, Truth Wins Out has established a new website, Respect My Research. The site comes after Focus on The Family leader James Dobson misrepresented scientific findings in his Time Magazine-published preaching against Mary Cheney's lesbianic pregnancy. Researchers cited by Dobson have since come out against his homophobic manipulations.

CONTINUED »

Ug, everyone has a MySpace page these days. Even our grandmother has one and she's dead. (It's totally gross, she's got pictures of her rotting corpse. A bit distasteful, no?)

To combat such unfashionable social networking, John Galliano and Vivienne Westwood - both of whom are giving our dead grandmother a run for her money, if you know what we mean - have partnered with a group of fashion-forward techies to launch their own trendy virtual space: IQONS. Stylists, designers, models and various followers can join the site for free, thus ensuring they will never have to interact with the plebes ever again.

Of IQONS, co-founder and former Comme des Garcons employee Rafael Jimenez had this to say:

The fashion world was sometimes a hostile and competitive environment so this is a tool to help young designers get involved. If you are talented someone will spot you and you will get through.

In other words, fatties, uglies and smellies need not apply. Unless you have a really ill blow hook up. Or have loads of money. Or, maybe, some more attractive friends. Although, really, no self-respecting attractive hangs out with uglies. That sort of charity's for the MySpace set. Losers.

(PS: The site's name has to be in all capitals because, you know, it's THAT monumental.)

In other technologically minded news, New Zealand AIDS Foundation’s Gay Men’s Health launched a new safe text messaging service through which butt boys off all ages can get some advice on safe sex. In addition to finding health clinics and ordering free condoms, gents can type in queer queries and have answers beamed directly to their phones. Of the servuce, Gay Men's Health representative Douglas Jenkin says:

Other services of this type launched overseas have been automated, but ‘Safe Sex Txt’ allows for free form questions. This is also the first service of this type specifically for gay and bisexual men, who are the highest risk group for HIV transmission in New Zealand...'Safe Sex Text’ will mean that gay and bisexual men won’t need to be accessing a computer to get timely advice about safe sex and sexual health.

It's perfect for the homo ho on the go. LOL.