



It's been a little while since we checked in our favorite disgraced Evangelical pastor, Ted Haggard and, quite frankly, were were beginning to miss him.
Now, don't get too excited. There's no new hooker, nor are there any fresh drug allegations. In fact, it's really not even scandalous, but we wanted to bring up some things and have a nice chat real quick.
Loyal readers of this site know that we've had a laugh or ten at poor Teddy's expense. How could we not? He helped perpetuate homophobia while secretly sucking dick. It's a pretty gross offense (the hypocritical homophobia, not the fellatio). It's easy to jump down his throat, then, and make a little fun.
According the Christian-minded gay activist group Soulforce, however, people need to take a step back and empathize with Haggard's epic struggle. Soulforce spokeswoman Paige Schilt says:
Haggard has now been referred to the same treatment that has threatened the mental and spiritual health of countless gay men and lesbians. We hope that many will see this as an opportunity to reach out in empathy ... We want to make sure that the voices of intolerance and homophobia are not the only voices that he hears during this difficult time.
While Haggard's being assisted by a few of his Evangelical buddies, the crux of his "restoration" will be organized by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality - the nation's premiere reparative therapy group specializing in helping people...um..."cope" with their homo ways.
Sure, we personally think that it's pretty sad, but consider this statement from NARTH president Joseph Nicolosi:
If this man is saying, 'This is a part of me that I abhor,' why can't we respect that? Why do we have to attribute that to something external and take away the dignity of the individual to express how he feels?
The moral of the story, if there is one, is that we do feel bad for Ted Haggard. We feel bad that he's been born with such little backbone that he can't use this scandal as a springboard for change. Instead he's allowing himself to be brainwashed by a bunch of idiots just because of some hackneyed threat of damnation.
It's sort of like when you see some dumb kid eating paste: you know it's bad for them but they look so happy that you can't bring yourself to take it away. You just have to shake your head and say, "What a dumb little fucker". And then, of course, have a bit of a giggle.
My major beef with NARTH is that they are so dishonest with their 'sucess' rates, and that is why I think Nicolosi doesn't really have a point. Also, at least one of the founding fathers of NARTH has an openly gay son....
Dude, with all your queer quip n stance, I think you gotta good point about Haggard's lak de backbone. This entire scandabacle is a society issue, not just a Haggard whore story. Lots of people need to, pardon the pun, straighten up and fly right here. It's a bad time for Haggard to buckle down in those polyester slacks and submit to being bitch slapped by homo-freuds. But then we still are in the dark regarding any possible extras menu items Mike Jones may have been paid for. Amatuer man boy sin and punishment scripts aren't just relegated to church basements donchyaknow. (genuflect grenuflect) We shall see how the lemming flames at the neighborhood homo-repair shop. We all know he has balls, the question is, when will he learn how to use them.... a question even Mike Jones can't answer.
i agree, niggers are annoying! so are queers, and jews for that matter. their should be jewniggerfaggot therapy.
Randall makes a good point. But they already did have Anti Jewniggerfaggot therapy. I think it was called world war 2 or something.
but there really is no problem with taking it up the ass. I love the cock what can i say, and i just dont feel comfortable when theirs not a cock in my mouth.
furthermore, meth is a fine drug, ive never felt higher in my life. this only makes taking a chocolate wang in the asshole even better.
thanks for enlightening me.
peace love,
and godbless
ted "coconut's creampie" Haggard
wow dman is a brillian writer, i think. i have read this three times and get something out of it each time.
i love the word "scandabacle". i am going to use it
5 times in conversation today like i do when i learn any new word.
the other two post seem a bit too
scandabacled for me.
jack
I think your full of shit. You dont even know what that word means, Ted Haggard and Mr. Barbera make very good points. I think what we need is more anti-faggots and more KKK Churches around the nation, I would like to point out the lack of border patrol and niggerstompers. I think we need a system callled 444-niggerstomp. You know, i bet most of you are gay because you are fat. And you cant get nay from the right sex. I think you need to rethink your postion and stop assuming the position.
We gave niggers rights, and damn, we want it back, just think what will happen when we gave gays rights, next it will be jews, mexicans and even women!
God damn.
yeah nicolosi, why can't people be less judgemental and let other people just be themselves? that just might mean not proselytyzing to convert heathens and letting queers just be queer, but it's a good thing that stuff is just saving people from themselves.