Earlier today we reported that although the Dutch government once considered giving gay Iranians the boot, they've found it in the goodness of their hearts to let them stay.

A few weeks ago, we posted a story about how the ANC in South Africa supports gay marriage.

So, you want to know how it all fits together? Well, we'll tell you.

South Africa's Dutch Reformed Church has issued a statement making it clear they do not support gay unions in South Africa. It seems they found media reports to be a bit too opaque. Fearing peeps will think they actually support homos, they say:

Our submission did not argue or champion gay marriages as such, and highlighted numerous problems in the proposed legislation, which also affect the rights of the Dutch Reformed Church.

We pointed out that the core of the matter is a constitutional one affecting rights - those of the Dutch Reformed Church, gays and of other religious groups whose marriages are also not recognised at the moment.

So, basically what they're saying is that they don't want to officiate, recognize, or really consider gay marriage.

For those of you not caught up on your South Africa history, the Dutch first arrived in South Africa way back in 1652. As was the fashion, they later attempted to take over the entire country. (We must note, however, that they called themselves the Afrikaaners: Dutch for African.) Many, many wars later, they led the National Party to victory, thus ushering in apartheid.

Of course, the ANC and myriad other groups fought apartheid, bringing the country it's first democratic elections and the world's most progressive constitution. A constitution that will hopefully be more progressive very soon, a move the DRC does not support. We guess it's a good thing SA's DRC doesn't have power in The Netherlands: the place that just gave special amnesty to gay Iranians.

Don't you love when everything comes together?

Alright, kiddies, now for some international news...

You may remember we previously reported that The Netherlands were considering deporting gay Iranians. Well, we're happy to inform you that they've changed their minds. Isn't that wonderful?

It seems that Rita Verdonk (pictured), the Immigration Minister who said gay Iranians could protect themselves by being "discrete," has granted them immunity from the Dutch boot. Reuters reports:

Verdonk, whose tough stance on immigration and asylum has been condemned by many on the left, based her decision on an unpublished report by Human Rights Watch, which refers to systematic abuse of homosexuals in Iran, her ministry said in a statement on Wednesday.

"Homosexual Iranian asylum seekers can now find a safe haven in the Netherlands from the persecution and inhuman treatment they face in Iran," Frank van Dalen, chairman of gay rights group COC Nederland, said.

Of course, with the news, one can expect to see an influx of gay Iranians into the country. So, ladies and gents, if you want a little Iranian action, you know where to go. (That is, unless Iran gets some nukes and go on a vengeful rampage. Then you'll just have radioactive ash. But, hey, some people are into that sort of thing.)

As Murray Hill pines away for Penelope Cruz, gay Iranian exiles in Europe are pining away for asylum. Despite accounts of torture and execution for homosexuality, a number of European nations may soon begin deporting gay Iranians back to their homeland. While Sweden started the ball rolling last month, the Netherlands may soon lift the respite deportation. Pink News UK reports:

In February 2006, Dutch Immigration Minister Rita Verdonk [pictured, look quite shifty] first declared her intention to end the moratorium, stating that “It appears that there are no cases of an execution on the basis of the sole fact that someone is homosexual. ... For homosexual men and women it is not totally impossible to function in society, although they should be wary of coming out of the closet too openly.”

Um...okay. So basically Verdonk's given them two options: either stay in the closet and risk extreme psychological trauma or come out of the closet and be killed. How nice.

Giving into protests, Verdonk maintained the postponement for further review. Well, that review's almost over and gay Iranians are itching with morbid anticipation. Quite frankly, we are, too.

April 1 marked the fifth anniversary of The Netherlands' legalization of gay marriage, and during the past five years the Dutch Central Bureau Of Statistics compiled facts and figures on how things are working out for the betrothed:

• After the first year rush of couples waiting to wed, the number of marriages dropped by 50%, and has leveled off.

• Gay couples are less likely to get married than straight couples, but the rate of divorce is the same for both gay and straight marriages.

• Gay women divorce more often than gay men.

We're surprised to learn gay women beat their male counterparts in the divorce game. But then, instead of divorce, gay men just start sleeping around and stay together "for the house."

Statistics on gay marriage in The Netherlands [RadioNetherlands]

Following their embrace of refugees who are fleeing anti-gay persecution in Iran, The Netherlands has devised a way to ease tension between Muslims and gay people in their own country: sponsoring a soccer tournament between gays and Muslims.

"A Dutch multicultural group is organizing a soccer tournament between gays and Muslims, hoping to counter what a study published on Thursday said was a rising tide of fear among gays.

An organizer of the group, Suzanne Ijsselmuiden, said she hoped the competition will "help ease these tensions so that people can openly talk about homosexuality."

We applaud this Pepsi-commercial solution to the conflict of Muslim homophobia. Although we believe there just might be a few homophobic Muslims who will sign up for the tournament to pummel their gay opponents into the ground, making for quite a non-peaceful match and leaving the gay players more terrified of Muslims than ever.

Organizers of the tournament said players who are gay AND Muslim can choose whichever team they are on. Our guess is they'll join the team with the hotter players.

Gay vs. Muslim soccer to solve the world's problems [AP]

Gay Muslim refugees seeking asylum in The Netherlands must watch a video of two guys making out, as part of a test to see if they are really gay.

The test was created partially because of an incident a few weeks ago: a group of Iranians, claiming to be gay, fled to The Netherlands and applied for political asylum from the Iranian government. Gay Iranians are regularly executed for crimes against Islamic law. (And they do it, FYI. Really.)

The Dutch immigration minister wanted to send them back, and not become involved in volatile Middle Eastern politics; but that would alert the Iranian goverment that the refugees were coming, and--more importantly--why they were being returned, and provide a reason for sentencing them to death.

After being humiliated by international pressure, the Dutch government came up with this way to prove asylum-seekers are not lying about the gay part of their case:

Potential immigrants to The Netherlands will be faced with a film showing two men kissing in a park, and a woman in a topless swimsuit, after Wednesday of this week.

Their reaction to the footage will be recorded and used as part of the evaluation process. Only applicants from predominantly Muslim countries such as the Middle East and Asia will have to view the film.

It's good to know that if we wanted to seek political asylum in The Netherlands, we'd pass with flying colors. And the test would be really, really fun. We're going to download some movies and study for our Netherlands entrance exam right now.

Gay sex required to move to The Netherlands [People's Daily]

Spain, quickly becoming one of the most progressive countries in Europe, has proposed a new law that would grant political asylum to people fleeing from persecution in their home countries based on sexual orientation. If passed, Spain would join those other queer-marrying countries like Holland and Canada, who also grant asylum to persecuted gays.

So does the U.S. offer such asylum? Um, not so much.

Sexuality is not specifically regarded as grounds for asylum in the United States. Last month a gay Zimbabwe man who says he faces persecution at home has had his appeal for asylum rejected by a federal appeals court.

William J. Kimumwe told the court that he fled Zimbabwe and eventually made it to the United States in 2002, settling in Minneapolis where his initial bid for asylum was denied.

In federal court he related to the three judges the situation in Zimbabwe under strongman Robert Mugabe where gays are routinely arrested and often held for months without trial.

Kudos to Spain, the third country to allow full gay marriage. Let’s hope our country gets back in the business of being a world leader in progress and begins granting political asylum to gays that happen to be born in less fortunate places. Are you listening Dubya?

Sexuality To Be Grounds For Asylum In Spain [365 Gay]