What does Amber Valetta do when she gets cramps? She slips into some Jeremy Scott couture, of course! Or, so she says in the Missouri-born fashion designer's new two-part movie: Starring.

And, speaking of starring, this little flick - inspired, Scott says, "by TV soap operas and the gorgeous woman who inhabit them" - stars a whole cast of characters: the aforementioned Valleta, everyone's favorite Spelling, Tori, Asia Argento, China Chow and lots, lots more! Ch-ch-check out part one, after the jump...

via Paper

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If there's one person gay people love more than Hilary Duff, it's Tori Spelling. So, it only makes sense the actress should turn to HX for all her publicity needs. In case you're not aware, Oxygen will be airing her new reality show Tori & Dean: Inn Love, which follows Tori and new hubby Dean's attempts to run a bed and breakfast.

The show isn't the only new project for Ms. Spelling - she's due to give birth any day now. So, is Spelling worried about having a baby? Apparently she's just going to treat it like a dog.

HX: Do you have a name picked out?
TS: We have two names, but we want to wait until we see him. I associate it with like a dog—you have to see your puppy before you really name them.

HX: Might your dog Mimi LaRue get jealous?
TS: I have concerns, but it’s really good we’re having a boy first so she doesn’t have to feel threatened that the baby’s going to wear her clothes. I totally would have them both in matching outfits...

Brian Austin Green's latest role will involve him taking it in the back door. The former 90210 heart throb has signed on to play gay in Will & Grace co-creator David Kohan and Max Mutchnick's new CBS comedy.

Unlike W&G, on which the fag/hag dynamics provided most of the punchlines, the new show revolves around two men - one gay and one straight - and their female coworkers. Apparently it's loosely based on Kohan and Mutchnick's real-life friendship. Sounds like a real laugh riot...

As for Green pretending to dig dick - it makes perfect sense to us. In fact, we always thought David Silver played for the other team. He did, after all, have pierced ears. Also, what straight guy would date a dog like Donna? None.

• Stephen Colbert had "mega" sympathy for Ted Haggard. [Huffington Post]

• Tom Ford's spritzing his shit all over town. And when we say "his shit", we mean his new fragrance, Black Orchid. [International Herald Tribune]

• Melrose Place's just been released on DVD. While we doubt Tori Spelling will get her father's residuals, we know that Doug Savant's chatting with AfterElton about his gay role on the prime-time sudster. [AfterElton]

• Is People Magazine the coming out go to? It looks that way, yes. [Jossip]

• Let's get one thing straight: if it weren't for the gay sex, Ted Haggard's gay sex scandal would only be a scandal. And don't you forget it. [Rocky Mountain News]

Alright, America, it's time to move on. This has officially gone too far.

Labelling Brokeback Mountain as the "Great Gay Movie" of our time is perhaps a bit short-sighted, in respect to the huge quantity of queer cinema out there.

In an effort to wean society off Brokeback, we'd like to make some other recommendations, and celebrate the brilliant gay films that were hitting the silver screen long before Jack and Ennis were hitting it in a tent. Plan a film festival party, invite over some of your favorite gays, and perhaps pick one of these stellar recommendations from our personal libraries:

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• James Bond to go nekkid. 007 movies have been boring the past several years, but Daniel Craig is already spicing things up. [Socialite's Life]

• Gays infiltrate reality-TV again, but even that won't save Unan1mous, which premieres tonight. Screw it, watch Top Model instead. [Boston.com]

• P. Diddy carries a man-bag. Call it a purse, and he'll pop a cap in yo' ass, bitch. [StarPulse]

• Chastity Bono takes a break from working out on Celebrity Fit Club to chat about her addiction to pills, challenges of losing weight, and having her uterus removed. What a life! [AfterEllen]

• Salad-tossing as art in Belgium. So weird. [Gridskipper]

• We need to start watching Footballer's Wives. [Dlisted]

• Ultimate fag-hag Tori Spelling's new show, NoTORIous, is a must-watch. We couldn't be more excited. [The Malcontent]

• Tom Malin, the ex-gay hustler (or gay ex-hustler? we're confused), in an IM intervew on his narrow defeat for the Texas State Legislature. I.e., speaking on former White House reporter/fellow hooker: “Everyone has seen my naked ass. Would love to see his.” Fab. [Wonkette]