If you think it's hard out there for a pimp, consider the harsh reality of being a tranny hooker. Not only do you have to scour the streets for a turned-on John, but then you have to explain your penis. Regrettably, not so many people are down with a so-called chick-with-a-dick and trans folk face more violent crime than their biologically gendered counterparts.

As such, many trans working girls choose to place ads in weekly rags - at least then they know their clients won't be some crazed lunatic. Unfortunately, they're not all trained copy men (women?). Good thing copyranter offers his expertise free-of-charge:

I'm offering my expert copywriting services to all Transgendered, Transsexual, SheMale, post-op, pre-op, mid-op, etc. Escorts. The challenge of having to juxtapose dissimilar phrases like "Golden Skin" and "Hung" in a small space ad targeted at such a hard-to-nail-down demographic is a huge turn-on. To get things started, I'll dip my toes into the head space:
• Full Lips. Fuller Girth.
• Legs To Die For. All Three Of Them.
• Cloud Nine Inches.
• Sugar Kissing + Candy Cane Licking.

Genius! So genius, in fact, we're having a bit of trouble choosing our favorite - you know, just in case we ever decide to get some tits and work a corner. We're thinking "Cloud Nine Inches". Although, that may be false advertising. Tear, tear...

• Vacation's can be a refreshing experience. So can shopping. And there ain't no item more refreshing than a finely pressed white shirt. Yeah, they can get a little boring, but Refinery 29's got the skinny on Surface to Air's new "Vent" shirt. It's anything but...

• Talk about unmotherly love: Britain's Zara Care has lost custody of her two-year old son and three-year daughter children after forcing them to fight on camera. As the little boy punched his old sis, 21-year old Care repeatedly called him a "wimp" and a "bloody faggot". We call her a shitting shit mum.

• Scary Spice also trotted her tot in front of the camera, only these were for OK! Too bad Eddie Murphy couldn't make it, because the cover acts as a familial introduction. Or does it?

• Human Rights Campaign wants to make sure your trans coming out is a happy trans coming out.

• Robots! They're more common (and scarier) than you think.

• Kryptonite! Scientists have discovered a mineral resembling kryptonite. It's official. Reality's become a comic book.

• Larry Birkhead has passed the test. The DNA test, that is, meaning he's officially Dannielynn Smith's baby daddy. His trouble's aren't over, though: Anna Nicole's mama may contest custody. Hasn't this child been through enough?

• Kabaddi: the gayest non-gay sport ever. Well, only for Westerners.

• Gays and anti-gays converge at Oregon's House to fight for gay marriage and against gay marriage, respectively.

• Girls Transsexual Twins on film!

• Gays are taking over straight bars! Social experiment or end of the world? You be the judge. No seriously, ABC literally has a poll: "Should Gay Patrons Go To Straight Bars?" Tomorrow: "Should blacks and whites drink from the same water fountain?"

• First Elizabeth Hurley and new hubby Arun Nayar get disowned by his grumpy parents, now they may face jail time? Some honeymoon...

• Free oxygen's for chumps. You should totally start spending your hard earned dough on bottled oxygen. Now that's fresh.

Being a tranny takes balls. As we saw yesterday, American trans folk face more violence than nearly every other social group. The situation's no better in Chile, where three people have been murdered in the last month.

As the bodies mount, gay activist Rolando Jimenez (pictured) and his organization, The Movement for Homosexual Integration and Freedom, are urging the government to protect Chile's queers, particularly trannies:

To put it simply, today in Chile the State is not guaranteeing a basic human right for a certain sector of the population, and that's the right to life.
...
Ultimately, that right isn't guaranteed because the transgender population, in this society, is forced to support itself in the sex trade. For the people in that line of work, it's a context that is absolutely precarious and dangerous and in which they're vulnerable.

What's worse, Jimenez says, the legal system holds an obvious bias against gay people, often letting alleged attackers slip away. In one case, Victor Vicencio Marin stood accused of murdering 32-year old Andrea Sanchez after hiring her for a mere $3.75. Marin posted his $925 bail and as he left the court, chuckled, "turns out it's cheap to kill a faggot". It's worth noting that this charmer has yet to be charged with the crime. Trans activist remarks Juana Iris Rubio, "We've always said that in this country, [murderers] have better reputations than faggots". And that's a fact, Jack.

MOVILH WARNS TRANSGENDER PEOPLE TO STAY OUT OF CHILE'S REGION V [Valparaiso Times]
MURDERS OF CHILE'S TRANSGENDER PEOPLE MOUNT [Valparaiso Times]

Men love their dicks. It's true. We haven't met one self-identified man who doesn't love his penis. And, really, who can blame them? Penises are great, especially your own. It's always there for you - not like those other, anonymous penises. Love 'em and leave 'em, that's their motto. So, one's penis becomes their only reliable source of sexual release. But that's not the case for one man: FTM porn star icon, Buck Angel. No, no. It's Angel's vagina that packs the real heat.

He explains to homo-journo Mark Adnum:

People just can't get around my pussy as a female thing. My pussy is all man. Many, many gay men have a hole THEY like to have fucked. That doesn't make them female. I think it is a shame that people just cannot get their heads around that. I have a lot of work to do to help make it clear that the cock does not make the man. Nothing about me feels feminized. And my cocks (I have many) are ALWAYS hard, and I can even provide my partner with the right size for the current mood. Hell, even favorite color is an option! I've never had any complaints, and I derive a lot of pleasure from fucking a partner, even if my cock isn't part of my body.

There you have it, men. Your penis will never, ever live up to Buck Angel's arsenal. He's like a fucking transformer with that thing. Might as well lay down your arms now. Shame, because we had such big dreams...

Buck Angel [Outrate]

There's a mystery brewing in San Francisco. The police department are looking into the apparent murder of a 30-year old Latin trannie, whose body they found early Saturday morning at an industrial park. The victim, described as a Latin male-to-female with dark, shoulder-length hair, has yet to be identified, nor do they have any leads.

Authorities are hoping, however, that one potential witness will step forward. This witness, however, may be just as much of a mystery: she's been described as a 25-year old naked hitchhiker last seen getting into a blue metallic car on Highway 101. One would think a naked hitchhiker would be easy to pick up but, of course, these things are far more complicated than they seem.

Anyone with information is encouraged to call homicide detectives at (415) 553-1145. Or, if you're feeling a bit shy, you can leave an anonymous tip at (415) 575-4444.

SF Police Investigate Apparent Transgender Murder [KPIX-TV]

Everyone's favorite tranny-to-be and former Largo city manager, Steve Stanton, took some time to sit down with The Agenda with Joe Solmonese to discuss his unceremonious ouster. His political peers voted to dismiss Stanton after St. Petersburg Times revealed his plans to become a woman.

Chatting with guest host Kevin Naff of The Washington Blade, Stanton expressed his remorse over the group's dishonorable actions. When asked if he knew the council's rationale, Stanton remarked:

The resolution that was ultimately adopted simply said that it was in the best interest of the city that I be terminated, primarily they felt that anybody who was essentially a transsexual was deceptive, deceitful and should have disclosed that sooner...

He also says that approximately 1200 people wrote in citing religious beliefs as to why Stanton should be sacked. Listen to entire conversation over at Pam's House Blend.

• Thats right folks! You can own a piece of history - hooker-turned-activist Mike Jones is auctioning off his old massage table. And, no, he's not keeping the money - it's going to charity. The current asking price's $500. Someone out there must be willing to top that...get it? [eBay]

• We wanted to post the music video for M's New Wave classic, "Pop Muzik", but some schmuck disabled its embedding code. So you're just going to have to watch it the new fashioned way. [YouTube]

• Speaking of YouTube - Turkey lifted its silly ban. [The Age]

• GLAAD has officially entered the war against Ann Coulter, but have the tides already turned? [San Francisco Chronicle]

• Patrick Letellier may not like running, but that didn't stop him from trotting along to fight AIDS. [MSNBC]

• Anglican priest Shawn Sanford Beck may have lost his job for supporting gay-marriage, but he's not about to change his mind. Well, done, Beck. Sorry about the job thing, though. Think about it this way - you're a total martyr. [Winnipeg Sun]

• Fuck! We totally missed trans activist and professor Jenny Boylan's appearance on All My Children! [TMZ]

• Egads! A British man lost sight in one eye after a gay attack. [Gay UK]

• Down-low: the myth that would not die... [Slate]

Spain's left-leaning parliament has passed a law that will allow transsexuals to change their name and gender without undergoing gender reassignment surgery. Basque News reports:

The new legislation requires transsexuals to present an official medical diagnosis stating a clinically proven case of gender dysfunction and to have undergone appropriate treatment for two years before changes in identity documents can be performed.

Pretty convenient, no?

Baptist minister and former Spring Arbor University professor Julie "Formerly John" Nemecek knew the end was nigh, but she had no idea it would come so soon.

Her employers at the Michigan-based, Christian-leaning university told him they would not renew her contract past June after Nemecek announced his plans to start living as a woman.

As part of their agreement, SAU made Nemecek sign a contract agreeing not to appear on campus as a woman. Now, after Nemecek had her name legally changed to Julie, the university's cut him loose, insisting Nemecek violated the aforementioned contract.

In light of this decision, Nemecek's out on her pretty little ass.

CONTINUED »

ABC soap All My Children got a bit of flack when they hired Jeffrey Carlson to play their now-legendary character, rockstar Zarf (who has since become Zoe). And with good reason - it's not like there aren't any tranny actors out there. Shit, when was the last time Kim Basinger had a gig?

Anyway, those of you who scoffed will no doubt be happy to hear that they've hired Colby professor, activist and known transexual Jenny Boylan to appear in a whopping one episode. New Now Next reports that post-op Zarf (we'll never be able to accept "Zoe") attends a tranny support group and Boylan offer a bit of gender-bending guidance. Ain't that grand?

When not acting and, of course, teaching, Boylan does a bit of writing - she's published the critically-acclaimed She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders. It's a great read, homies.

We'd like to dedicate this little diddy to our tranny friends. "Let Me Die A Woman" comes to us from the New Zealand-based The Phoenix Foundation's 2004 full-length, Horse Power.

We can't help but wonder if they got it from the Doris Wishman 1978 doco on revolutionary sex-change surgeon, Dr. Leo Wollman of the same name.