What with Harriett Miers and the Valerie Plame scandal, there's more heat in Washington D.C. these days than Madonna's new album. So we got to thinking: what do the city's gays do to celebrate a whole slate of upcoming Republican indictments?

First, you need to get some food in your stomach to prepare for a night of elephant stomping fun. Our boyfriend swears Pizza Paradiso has the best pizza on earth, and he won't touch a carb unless he has to, so we're inclined to believe him. If you want to spend a few bucks, head to avant-garde Middle Eastern tapas hipster restaurant Zatynia. Good food, hot guys and belly dancers.

Now it's time to play the Indictment Drinking Game. Start classy, and have a drink at the Tabard Inn's fabulous bar. Next, turn the corner and head up 17th street to gay-frat bar J.R.'s. And since D.C. is one of the very few cities in the U.S. you can see dongs waved in front of your face, Secrets is a must. Celebrate the downfall of the Republican Party and tip a dancer one dollar for each indictment.

You'll need someplace to take that depressed Republican staffer you picked up, so we suggest the Hay-Adams, a fab converted mansion. For you history buffs on a budget, head back to the boutique Tabard Inn (Julia Roberts stays there!), where rooms have stylish claw foot tubs and you can dine in their on-site restaurant with fresh vegetables grown at the owner's Virginia farm.