As reported on Pam’s House Blend . . . Always Steamin’, one Jeffrey Bedford is ruing the day he didn’t read the fine print. He signed on the dotted line for ABC’s Wife Swap show; the contract stated that the reality program could give him either a woman or a man as a replacement wife.

When ABC sent Jeffrey a gay man as his new wife, he protested like a shrew with a dusty vagina. The producers told him words to the effect of tough titties. On the night of a bible studies group meeting in Jeffrey’s home, the gay guy invited a group of his homeboys to the session; word is they criticized the interior decoration.

Jeffrey is suing for $10 million. He claims he was caused mental and physical illness by having his swap partner be a phallus-fondling faggot. The Queerty judge has ruled against him; she who lives by the swap, sucks by the swap.