Madonna has a genealogist, and he has traced her bloodline to the British Royal Family (by marriage)! Her relation to Camilla Parker Bowles, Ducchess of Cornwall, could explain Madonna's slowly evolving accent, or her pronounced teeth, or perhaps even her title as "Queen" of pop.

The 47-year-old hitmaker - who has also discovered blood-links with Canadian singer Celine Dion - is urging her 'relations' to join her and genealogist William Addams Reitwiesner in their quest to trace their entire family tree.

First stop: England. Next stop: The throne!

Madonna Related to Camilla [Starpulse]

In anticipation of his inevitable outing, Toothy Tile should choose England for his next romantic homosexual getaway. Not only is it on a different continent away from the American press corps, but as of Monday it is illegal for restaurants to prevent gays from holding hands with each other during dinner!

The rules will make discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation illegal in the same way as race or gender. They are drawn up to protect gays from being denied “goods, facilities and services” on the ground of sexual preference.

We still urge Toothy and others to exercise caution, however, because there are no stipulations that homophobic hotel owners cannot infest your room with bedbugs and prejudiced waiters cannot spit in your food.

Shops Must Provide Gay Wedding Lists [Times Online]
The Awful Truth [E Online]

• Oasis’s Liam Gallagher says that the England football squad is pretty “gay.” Well, we have news for you, Liam. So is being an alt-rock diva. [MTV]

• Marc Jacobs will put his label on only the finest merchandise. And that includes the finest rent-boys. [Jossip]

• Those crazy kids with the Soulforce campaign got themselves arrested on purpose, tresspassing at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University to protest the school's anti-gay bias. At least now that they've been to jail, they've got street cred. [AP]

• What do you do when the State forces your charity to provide adoptions to gays as well as straights? If you’re the Catholic Church, you spoil the fun for everyone. [Boston Globe]

• Everyone knows that gays aren’t very violent, in fact we're usually the exact opposite. Who else would stage a protest by tonguing each other? [Made in Brazil]

• Famous queers in the UK continue to get hitched. It just won’t stop. [UK Gay.com]

• Grasping at every media opportunity they can, Project Runway's desingers discuss their favorite...Star Wars moments? We don't get the connection either. But it's a funny read nonetheless. [starwars.com]

• The MSM has finally discovered the Brokeback Mountain parodies that have been filling our inboxes faster than shirtless pics of Clay Aiken. We're officially over both of them. [NY Times]

• While we're generally pretty unforgiving when celebs record themselves in their most private moments, we're going to take it easy on Texas A&M's Chris Walker. Not because he's half-naked and hot but because he's lip synching "Total Eclipse of the Heart." [Towleroad]

• Soccer star Ashley Cole is suing two UK newspapers for libel for printing gay orgy stories in which his name was never even mentioned. Makes perfect sense to us. [Press Gazette]

• Following the news that gay marriage is good for your health, we now get word that marriage bans are bad for us. [UPI]

• In talking about his being a gay role model, Westlife's Mark Freehily says "I don't know that I necessarily like it too much because, knowing me, I would probably say the wrong thing." We say don't stop talking about your sexuality, Mark. It's the only thing that gets the band press these days. [Sydney Morning Herald]

A London gay couple experienced what a British judge has called ‘elements of Fawlty Towers’ when they stayed in a UK B&B. The couple was told they had to sleep in twin beds, then they were locked out of their room, then the owner threatened them with a handgun-like beer tap.

Discovering that the pair had booked a room with a double bed, he suggested that a twin room would be more appropriate. Living in a small village, he feared that locals would disapprove or "take the mickey" if he was found to have allowed two men to share the same bed

They returned after midnight and found that they had been locked out. No amount of knocking raised either Mr Bush or his staff and they were forced to stay with a cousin of Mr Smith, who lived nearby.
Upset by their treatment, they returned to the White Hart the following morning to remonstrate with Mr Bush.

They turned around and saw him holding what Mr Ruiz described as a handgun. He told the court: "I was very, very shocked, extremely frightened and stunned, because I thought Mr Bush was going to shoot us."

It’s nice to know the British judge recognized the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Though the man eventually got off, for firearms violations, something tells us this would’ve ended up differently had it occurred in, say, Texas.

Gay couple's hotel break like Fawlty Towers, says judge [News.telegraph]

If only Elton John and David Furnish had just waited a few months they could’ve been married in what possibly might be the gayest wedding venue on Earth: Princess Diana’s old digs.

Althrop House, where the late wife of Prince Charles was brought up, can be rented out for £50,000 as a luxury wedding venue for gay and straight couples.

Couples will be able to pose for photographs outside of “Diana's Temple”, the summer house beside the grave of the late Princess.

Gay couples will be able to consummate their marriage in the bedroom once shared by the Princess and her former husband, Prince Charles.

Sure the price is steep but come on, there is no price too high to knock boots in the same bed that Diana and Charles, well, probably did nothing at all in. Still, it worth it to hold your ceremony there – how often do you get married and piss off the Queen at the same time?

Princess Diana's home opened for gay weddings [Pink News UK]

File under: Adorable news out of England. Carlos and Fernando, strapping young chaps from the town of Gloucestershire, have been together five years and have a few adopted children of their own. Fabulous? Yes, and all the more so since these guys are pink through and through.

Britain's only gay flamingos Carlos and Fernando, are celebrating their fifth anniversary together with their adopted children at Slimbridge Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust in Gloucestershire.

The pair surprised staff at the wildlife park after they came out five years ago and began to engage in a series of complex mating rituals. The pink birds have been inseparable ever since and have even raised chicks together after they stole eggs from neighbouring straight couples.

The article goes on to say how Carlos and Fernando are a model couple, lasting a whopping five years (longer than Brad and Jen!) and are the envy of the straight flamingo world. We do have one quarrel, though. The article says they are “Britain’s only gay flamingos,” a fact we find hard to believe. C’mon, just look at what they’re wearing. The whole lot of ‘em is gay as can be.

Gay flamingos celebrate fifth anniversary with their children [Pink News UK]

With civil unions becoming legal last month and now two politicians (sort of) coming out in one week's time, the UK is quickly becoming the U Gay. Though there don’t appear to be any rent boys involved in his story (yet), Simon Hughes has confessed his homosexuality, or rather, his penchant for gay sex. But this comes after quite a few Kenny Chesney-like denials.

Mr Hughes' admission was at odds with comments he made recently about his sexuality, saying he "often" thought about getting married but had not been "as successful as I would have liked".

Asked by the Independent last week whether he was gay, he said: "The answer is no, as it happens. But if it was the case, which it isn't, I hope that would not become an issue."

In another interview for the Guardian two days ago, he was again asked whether he was a homosexual.
He said: "I'm a single guy, which is why I guess it's easy for people to speculate.

Well, the answer is indeed yes, and it looks like his denials, not so much the queer factor, have made this an issue.

Hughes admits gay affairs [The Telegraph}

The Lib Dem party over in the UK is reeling from yet another scandal, this one involving an MP who has been enjoying regular visits from a 23-year-old rent boy. Mark Oaten, the Home Affairs Spokesman for the party has stepped down.

The disclosure that Mr. Oaten, 41, a former contender for the leadership, had allegedly paid £80 a time for sex with a man, dismayed and shocked party leaders.

According to the paper, Mr. Oaten first contacted the unnamed man - then aged 23 - in 2004 through a gay website, and they met regularly over a six-month period. On one occasion, a second male prostitute was said to have been involved.

A threesome with hot male hustlers? Damn, the Brits have all the fun. But considering the guy has a wife and a couple of rugrats at home, we can’t really approve of this sort of thing.

Why can’t gay politicians just be gay? Why do they have to go all Ennis Del Mar on their families? And £80? That’s less than $150 U.S. At the very least the guy is certainly thrifty with his man-whores.

Lib Dems left reeling by Oaten rent boy scandal [The Independent]

A British police force has been named Britain’s top gay employer, employing on gay for every ten officers. Stonewall, the gay organization that compiles the list of the most equitable places for gays and lesbians to work, says the results are from the force’s active recruiting in the “pink press.” But things weren’t always so chummy-chummy.

Less than 10 years ago Staffordshire police, which this week will be named winners of the award, were ridiculed for mounting an operation to spy through peepholes on men “cottaging” in public conveniences in Stoke.

Relations with the gay community reached a low point when 21 men, many of them married, were arrested, with some losing their jobs, their wives and their homes.

Sounds good to us. We may just have to scoot across the pond and try and get ourselves arrested, now. We’ll be in cell block P. (ok, we know that was bad.)

Police force is top gay employer [The Times of London]

• Drag queen muse, Elvira, is having a moving sale and you can bet Queerty will be there rummaging through boxes and boxes of over-sized wigs and stringy black gowns. [Defamer]

• South African gay men are protesting the country's ban preventing them from donating blood - by lying and doing it anyway. [BBC]

• Gay Brits are taking a break from their marrying long enough to screen Brokeback Mountain, making it the number one movie in the UK, and thereby officialy making it an international sensation. [Time Out]

• Renee Zellweger forgives loved ones who commit fraud pretty easily. She and her ex Kenney Chesney were out shopping together. For sandwiches, not shoes. [Yahoo]

• Richard Hatch might be "the world’s worst bookkeeper" but he is most certainly the "world's worst nude bookkeeper." [Boston Herald]

• Bravo (whose programming continues to compete with Logo and here! TV) has blessed us with a second season of Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-list. Let's hope we get a reunion with Griffin and her adorable husband, Matt. [Zap2it]

• Brokeback Mountain wins even more awards. This is getting way too easy. [AP via Yahoo]

• Heath Ledger sees his film being yanked from a Utah theater at the last minute the same way we do: "hilarious and very immature." [Herald Sun]

• New Jersey Governor Richard Codey will likely put his John Hancock on two bills that would finally give same-sex partners equal inheritance and funeral rights. [Newsday]

• Stephen Gately continues the new scorching hot trend for out British celebs: getting married! [The Advoacte]

• First big news from Macworld? Speedy Intel-fitted computers! [Macworld]