Porn producer Joseph Kerekes and skin starlet Harlow Cuadra may be in prison for murder, but they refuse to be treated like criminals.

The two were arrested and charged in Vriginia Beach, VA, Tuesday for the January murder of business rival, Bryan Kocis. Police allege that Kerekes and Cuadra (pictured) plotted and carried out Kocis' killing - and apparently the devilish duo really wanted Kocis dead: they stabbed him 28 times and then set his house on fire. In addition to the murder and arson charges, the boys are also facing racketeering charges.

As their good fortune wears off and their bank accounts remain frozen, the boys remain resolute in cock-blocking justice: they've refused extradition to Pennsylvania...

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Nigeria Anglican Archbishop Peter Akinola's tightening his grip on America's soul. The virulent homophobe will pay Woodbridge, Virginia a little visit to appoint former Episcopal clergyman Martyn Minns as the leader of Akinola's Convocation of Anglicans in North America.

Born from the never-ending gay debate, Akinola's Nigeria-based Convocation aims to recruit conservative Americans into his Bible-thumping fold. American Episcopal leader Katharine Jefferts Schori has pleaded with Akinola to back off her territory, but it seems Akinola's hellbent on a bit of religious colonization. Akinola replied by saying that the CANA will:

provide a safe place for those who wish to remain faithful Anglicans but can no longer do so within the Episcopal Church as it is currently being led.

Holy bitchiness!

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Desmond Tutu's by far our favorite religious leader (sorry Gene Robinson). The outspoken Anglican Archbishop and outspoken civil rights figure has blasted Peter Akinola and his haterific homies for their tenacious war on homosexuality. As the Anglican Communion gears up for its annual meeting - a meeting at which Archbishop of Canterbury, will no doubt get an earful - Tutu chided:

I am deeply disturbed that in the face of some of the most horrendous problems facing Africa, we concentrate on 'what do I do in bed with whom'... For one to penalise someone for their sexual orientation is the same as penalising someone for something they can do nothing about, like ethnicity or race. I cannot imagine persecuting a minority group which is already being persecuted... The God I worship would not consider that (gay clergy) to be a priority concern.

He's referring, of course, to the aforementioned Robinson, the openly gay bishop whose 2003 ascension provided the spark for the 70 million strong movement's potential schism and endless infighting.

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• The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network hopes to combat homophobia and other forms of schoolyard bullying with January's "No Name-Calling Week". All those who utter a nasty name will have their tongues cut out and hung from the flag pole.

• In other education-related news, ACLU Florida has filed for a preliminary injunction on behalf of Okeechobee High School's Gay-Straight Alliance. Apparently the school tried to block their meetings. When will they learn: fuck with GSA and you fuck with the ACLU.

• New Jersey Attorney General Stuart Rabner issued a statement saying that religious organizations opposed to same-sex unions have the right to refuse. That's good - we wouldn't want them blurring that whole church/state line. Even in the name of faggotry.

• Robert Klein Engler's constructed an essay deconstructing constructionist queer theory. Careful it doesn't fall apart...

• New York Governor Elliot Spitzer asked homo-politico Sean Patrick Maloney to join his staff as first deputy secretary. A political match made in heaven.

• Via our favorite bear, Andrew Sullivan, here's a fun (and hairy) song-and-dance site.

• Butt is it art? Virginia teacher Stephen Murmer just got canned for his side-job: making paintings with his posterior.

Maybe they thought they were being timely, or perhaps they felt a bit ironic, but for some reason The New York Times decided Christmas Day would be a perfect time to write on Archbishop Peter Akinola: the homo-hating Nigerian who's determined to rip the Anglican Church a new arm.

You may recall Akinola as the mensch who equates gays with cancer or, perhaps, as the man who lured away a number of parishes earlier this month, but we'll always remember him as the man who uses the most absurd hypothetical musing to justify his homophobic ways. Having a little chat about Genesis, Akinola wonders:

Why didn’t God make a lion to be a man’s companion? Why didn’t he make a tree to be a man’s companion?

Well, God didn't make a lion a man's companion because the lion would eat the man. As for the tree - well, that's just stupid. How do you fuck a tree? Stick your dick in some hole and hope it's not devoured by a colony of ants? What would a woman (or, also, a bottom) do? Stick some sharp branch up her twat? Ouch.

Kidding aside, Akinola's hijacking of the movement may be one of the most important - and potentially disastrous - moves since the openly-gay Gene Robinson's 2003 officiation. Akinola recently set up a satellite church on American soil - not only threatening American congregations, but disregarding Anglican rules that you cannot rule over a church not in your geographical region. While we're not big fan of Akinola - in fact, we'd like nothing more than to see God comes down and take a big holy shit right on his busted ass face - we're compelled by this bit:

Asked whether his installing a bishop in the United States violated the church’s longstanding rules, he responded heatedly that he was simply doing what Western churches had done for centuries, sending a bishop to serve Anglicans where there is no church to provide one.

Archbishop Akinola argues that the Convocation, his group in the United States, was established last year to serve Nigerian Anglicans unhappy with the direction of the Episcopal Church, and eventually began to attract non-Nigerians who shared their views. Other church officials and experts say Archbishop Akinola’s intention for the Convocation was to attract Americans and become a rival to the Episcopal Church.

It seems to us that he's just trying to get more power and, thus, attention. We hate to admit it, but he does have a point on that whole colonialism thing.

Regardless, he's still a douche rag putz homophobe shit monger. Read all about it! after the jump...

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• Remember our post on WGAY-TV's disheartened former employee? Remember our tipster, Addison. Well, his full name is Addison Phillips and - surprise! - he has a blog, too. [Addison Phillips]

• If there's one thing Patrick Wilson loves, it's fucking his woman on a washing machine. And showing his butt. [!! omg blog !!]

• As South African President Thabo Mbeki prepares to sign the same-sex marriage bill, people schedule their long-awaited weddings. [SABC News]

• The kids over at Best Week Ever want you to caption a picture of Paris Hilton and Sean Preston Federline. We have a question, rather than a suggestion: how do you make a dead baby? [Best Week Ever]

• While we're on the subject of questions: Did Argentina ask the Bush twins to leave for security issues? Are we the only people who forgot the Bush twins exist? [ABC News]

• If there's one place we wouldn't want to be, it's between two lesbian mothers fighting over their four-year old daughter. Nor, it seems, would Virginia: they've just handed the case over to Vermont. And that's a fact, Jack. [365 Gay]

• A queer arts festival started in New York City. [Mix NYC]

• Frank Grigg's Not About Sarah Jessica Parker's dress. [!! omg blog !!]

• South Africa's Home Affairs Committee Passed the gay-nups bill. [Mail & Guardian]

• Two out of Three HIV Strains Came from Gorillas. [Times Online]

• Virginia Sen. George Allen finally conceded. Dems officially take Senate. Hooray! [Washington Post]

• Emma Thompson poll-danced on Ellen. [Best Week Ever]

Well, it would seem that after all those nightmarish years, the Democrats may again have some power in Washington. As we're sure you know, the Demmies took back control of the House of Representatives for the first time since they lost it so tragically in 1998 (Correction: We meant the Dems lost the House in 1994, not 1998. It was early; we're human. xoxo).

While it's too soon to tell, it also looks as if they'll retain control of the Senate.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that perhaps some progressive policy can take place in Washington. It also means that while Illinois Republican Dennis "Hasturd" Hastert won reelection, he will no longer be Speaker of the House, opening it up to San Francisco based Nancy Pelosi. While she has not yet officially been made Speaker, she seems poised to take over, which would make her the first woman Speaker in history. What was President Bush's reaction? According to a White House spokesman:

His reaction was, he was disappointed in the results in the House. But he’s eager to work with both parties on his priorities over the next two years. He’s got an agenda of important issues he wants to work on, and he’s going to work with both parties.

Poor Bush, we bet he cried himself to sleep, because he knows his days of evil omnipotence have come to an end.

As for the Senate: well, that's still up in the air, with Montana and Virginia still undecided. It seems as if the race between Senator George Allen and Jim Webb may require a recount. In Montana, it seems as if Republican Senator Conrad Burns's lacking the votes to keep control out of Democratic challenger, Jon Tester. But, again, the votes haven't all been counted.

Now, with regard to same-sex marriage bans. Unfortunately, Americans in Virginia, Wisconsin, South Carolina, South Dakota, Idaho, Tennessee and Colorado all voted to ban same-sex marriage in their states. On a positive note, however, pro-marriage group Arizona Together fought a fierce battle and beat the proposed ban. We predict Arizona's the next big gay thing, whatever that means.

Oh, and you may also like to know that two homo-politicos, Patricia Todd (D-AL) and Paul Koering (R-MN) won their respective races. Meanwhile, reported homo-politico, Charlie Crist, won his Republican Governorship in Florida. Countering the balance, however, New York's gained Eliot Spitzer, who has promised to write more progressive gay legislation.

The Commonwealth Coaltion, a pro-homo organization fighting Virginia's proposed amendment banning gay marriage, has itself a new ally: Mary Cheney.

The VPs camera shy lezzie daughter stepped up to the plate and threw some cash their way with former Virginia Governor Mark Warner. The Virginian-Pilot reports:

Former Gov. Mark Warner and Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter, Mary, both have written checks to help opponents of a proposed state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, according to campaign reports filed Monday.

Gastanaga said contributions from Warner and Cheney are morale boosters for the Coalition. Warner, a Democrat, gave $25,000 through his political action committee, One Virginia. Cheney, daughter of the Republican vice president, gave $1,000 to the group.

Alright, Mary, it's great you're attempting to aid the faggot cause, but $1,000? Didn't your father get like a bazillion dollars from Halliburton? What, he's not sharing because you're a muff diver?

Indeed! (As punishment for what we perceive to be Cheney's miserly ways, we've posted one of the most unattractive pictures of her we could find. Cough up more buckage, Mary, and we'll make you look better than fucking Barbie.)

As a side note, the main picture on The Commonwealth Coalition's home page is a straight couple. Go figure.

We've seen it happen in Chelsea. In San Francisco. In Ft. Lauderdale. The gays move in, revitalize a downtrodden neighborhood, bring in the Design Within Reaches and Pottery Barns, and after just a couple decades manage to raise property values so quickly, the locals are priced out of their own neighborhood. Just kidding. Sort of. Actually, the typical scenario is the straight families move in and the gays find a new 'hood to care for. From St. Petersburg, Florida, comes news of one phase of the scenario: gays and locals (wait, aren't they the same?) are clashing. While the entire community basks in higher property values, better schools, falling crime rates, and more window treatment options, not everyone wants the gay community's reach to extend, you know, into the community.

But in St. Petersburg, a city that historically likes the thought of being a small town, the increasing presence of the gay community has produced awkward interactions:

* A lesbian running for the City Council was publicly criticized at a candidate forum last year for being gay.
* Popular two-term mayor Rick Baker has refused to sign a proclamation recognizing the city’s June gay pride parade. He will not attend the event.
* Local elected leaders, told that marketing the area as “gay-friendly” could be a financial winner, instead worried that the idea could turn off families.

Is St. Petersburg intolerant? Are the city’s elected leaders out of touch with the community, or at least unwilling to accept a part of it? Will gay men and women already here respond, or leave?

Perhaps the answer can be found in Virgina, where intolerance is leading some gay men and women to disembark. Real estate agents there are pointing to recent homophobic legislation to explain the depature of portions of the gay community. And if St. Petersburg politicos and community leaders don't take note of the contributions its gay citizens make, locals might see their once vibrant areas return to the boarded up shacks they're so pleased to see gone.

How a city grows gay-friendly [St. Petersburg Times]
Some gays leave Virginia feeling unwelcome [AP]

A man in Arlington, VA who runs his own video duplication service has a company policy that he reserves the right not to duplicate any videos that violate his "Christian and ethical values." Unfortunately, such a policy violates Arlington County's anti-discrimination law, and when a woman wanted to duplicate some gay-themed videos (not porn, as far as we can tell) and he would not copy them, she complained to the Human Rights Commission and he was ordered to provide the service. Now he is suing the officials on the Commission on the grounds that Virginia state law does not allow for sexual orientation to be added to anti-discrimination laws.

We think that Christian video duplicators could be a phenomenon. Recently we were in a rural town in central Florida where we had to have some videos duplicated, and we found the one place in town where we could have it done, which was in a little shed behind this family's house. We pulled into their driveway behind their van covered with "Bush/Cheney 2004" stickers and walked inside. Immediately the woman helping us (who was very sweet) began talking about "my church this, my church that," perhaps sensing we could use a little bit of help from Jesus to straighten us out on our path. Fortunately our videos had no gay kissing or anything in them or we perhaps could have ended up in a similar situation as the woman in Virginia.

Christian businessman ordered to duplicate gay video sues [Washington Blade]

•The American Red Cross is considering the possibility that maybe not all gays are infected with HIV from that one time they had anal sex back in 1985, and are consequently in favor of lifting the government's lifetime ban on blood donation for gay and bisexual men. [Advocate]

• What makes us gay or straight? Was it the leather pants our grandma bought us when we were six? There are scientists trying to figure it all out, and right now in the rhetorical battle of nature vs. nurture, nature seems to be winning. [CBS News via 429 News]

• Straight high school student Brandon Flyte has allegedly been expelled from his high school for surprise-airing his gay-themed student film Brokeback High for his marine biology class. Word is still out on whether the film involved whales or dolphins. [Towleroad]

• The Meretz political party is the first in Israel to endorse gay marriage. Their catchiest slogan borrows from the Jewish marriage song: "the voice of groom and groom," and "the voice of bride and bride." [365 Gay]

• Virginia's constitution could be amended to ban gay marriage this November, thanks to a ballot measure made possible by (phony) Democratic governor Tim Kaine. [Washington Blade]