Now that we've got your attention, we'd like to inform you that Washington DC Mayor Adrian M. Fenty has named his new Interim Director for LGBT Affairs: Christopher Dyers. The announcement cites Dyers' long history working with non-profits such as the American Lung Association and the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club, as well as his founding of the Youth Pride Alliance. It does not, however, mention Dyers' work alter ego: Cookie Buffet: a popular drag queen in the DC area.

While not a glaring omission in the least, it's suspicious that Cookie Buffet has gone on an "extended vacation". Her website reads:

Due to an increase of responsibilities in my new job and after much soul searching, It is time to announce that Cookie Buffet will be going on an extended vacation. I can't stress enough the joy I have had in being a performer and raising the amount of money I have. I was always pleasantly surprised at the love I received from clubgoers and the GLBT community. I am extremely proud of the "work" I did as Cookie. I realize this "retirement" might come as a shock and suprise to some.

Don't worry, though, Fenty and Dyers may be political masterminds, but they can't stop people like us from digging up an old version of Buffet's website, on which you can read all about her exploits prior to being brought into the official political fold.

• Out Magazine's Jason Lamphier's penned a stellar review of 69 Love Songs: A Field Guide, L.B. Beghtol examination of Magnetic Fields' Stephin Merritt's three-disc epic. [Out]

• Homo-journo Wayne Besen's using his linguistic abilities to celebrate notable LGBT activist, such as Lane Hudson and Mike Rogers. Ass kissing never read so sweet. [Wayne Besen]

• While Besen's celebrating activism and outing, British actor John Barrowman is celebrating his gay-nups to long-time boyfriend, Scott Gill. [All Headline News]

• If there's a better way to commemorate James Brown's life than sticking his rotting corpse in the Apollo theater, we haven't heard it. [AP]

• Speaking of the dead: the family of Stuart Lubbock's (who died at British actor Michael Barrymore's house) family must be happy to hear that the investigation into his mysterious death's been reopened. It seems the coppers have some new leads. Nothing like a good cold case. [Pink News UK]

• What could be more exciting that news that nudie musical Naked Boys Singing has been optioned for the big screen? [Reuters]

• Certainly not the news that beleagured Turkish homo-journo Umut Güner's trial starts on Thursday. We're not really celebrating that. If he gets off, however, we'll totally party. [AKI]

• Another thing we're not celebrating? The fact that Rosie O'Donnell really can't leave this Donald Trump thing alone. She's again speaking gibberish in a blog entry about the equally childish blow-hard. [r blog]

Well, it would seem that after all those nightmarish years, the Democrats may again have some power in Washington. As we're sure you know, the Demmies took back control of the House of Representatives for the first time since they lost it so tragically in 1998 (Correction: We meant the Dems lost the House in 1994, not 1998. It was early; we're human. xoxo).

While it's too soon to tell, it also looks as if they'll retain control of the Senate.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that perhaps some progressive policy can take place in Washington. It also means that while Illinois Republican Dennis "Hasturd" Hastert won reelection, he will no longer be Speaker of the House, opening it up to San Francisco based Nancy Pelosi. While she has not yet officially been made Speaker, she seems poised to take over, which would make her the first woman Speaker in history. What was President Bush's reaction? According to a White House spokesman:

His reaction was, he was disappointed in the results in the House. But he’s eager to work with both parties on his priorities over the next two years. He’s got an agenda of important issues he wants to work on, and he’s going to work with both parties.

As for the Senate: well, that's still up in the air, with Montana and Virginia still undecided. It seems as if the race between Senator George Allen and Jim Webb may require a recount. In Montana, it seems as if Republican Senator Conrad Burns's lacking the votes to keep control out of Democratic challenger, Jon Tester. But, again, the votes haven't all been counted.

Now, with regard to same-sex marriage bans. Unfortunately, Americans in Virginia, Wisconsin, South Carolina, South Dakota, Idaho, Tennessee and Colorado all voted to ban same-sex marriage in their states. On a positive note, however, pro-marriage group Arizona Together fought a fierce battle and beat the proposed ban. We predict Arizona's the next big gay thing, whatever that means.

Oh, and you may also like to know that two homo-politicos, Patricia Todd (D-AL) and Paul Koering (R-MN) won their respective races. Meanwhile, reported homo-politico, Charlie Crist, won his Republican Governorship in Florida. Countering the balance, however, New York's gained Eliot Spitzer, who has promised to write more progressive gay legislation.

While we're on the subject of love, remember Madeline Crabb, the pictured journalist who yearns just hates the homos? If not, check out our posting on the first installment of her ire-inducing essay, "Foley, homosexuality, and character."

Now that we're all on the same Foley-related page (pun undoubtedly intended), let's take a minute to examine Ms. Crabb's rousing second installment.

Basically, it's more of the same conservative Bible pusher haterade, which means the reader gets wonderous gems, such as Crabb's insistence that Foley's actions represent "normal-for-homosexual-behavior". She's such a sweetheart!

But, wait, it gets better:

Homosexuality is not noble, no matter what the know better [read: liberals] crowd says. God called such behavior an abomination. Period. But if that's not enough for you, let's hear what the homosexuals of stellar character have to say.

The Homosexual Manifesto, which appeared in the Gay Community News in 1987 states:

We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all-male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image.

The goal of homosexuals is to infiltrate every area of society to force their disgusting sexual lifestyle choices — their perversions — on all Americans. They are doing it through legislation like "hate crimes bills," and the Courts, using fear and intimidation tactics that would make the Nazis proud.

We've also taken the time to post the entire parodic "The Gay Manifesto" essay by Michael Swift after the jump. Obviously Ms. Crabb's too blinded by her cuntiness to recognize sarcasm. Or, perhaps she's just an idiot.

[Read On ...]

If our calculations are correct, Mark Foley should be getting out of rehab any second now. While people in rehab typically shy away from the rest of the world, we're pretty sure Foley knows what a stink his email exchanges with Congressional pages have raised.

He's probably scared shitless right now, thirsting for the hooch (read: teenage boys) that sent him to detox in the first place. Who wouldn't be? Washington's been torn asunder, child protection advocates are frothing at the mouth, and his entire fucking life's basically down the toilet.

Don't worry, Marky, not everyone hates you. Consider this article by the appropriately monikered Madeline Crabb (pictured above in what we hope was 1992).

So, what's this cringe-worthy piece entitled? "Foley, homosexuality, and character (Part One)". Yeah, that's right. Part one. This bitch loves her some Foley.

There are so many notable bits here that we're at a loss. For example:

For over two weeks we have been hearing a lot of stories about former congressman Mark Foley who got caught sending emails to a congressional page. He at least had the good sense to resign. Yes, the press and the liberal "elitists" have claimed this is a scandal...

...[W]hy are we even having this public debate over old Mark? It's not like he's the first homosexual in Congress. The liberal elitists, or we-know-what's-best-for-you crowd, have been pushing homosexuality down our proverbial throats for years. They have even told us that the Boy Scouts are wrong to ban homosexuals from being scout leaders because these pure, wholesome, same-as-you-and-me homosexuals would never harm boys. Uh huh.

(Thanks Mike.)

In his undying quest to expose hypocrisy among government officials, Blogactive's Mike Rogers set his sights on Republican National Committee Chairman, Ken Mehlman (pictured).

Mehlman's sexuality has long been a Washington mystery and when asked, he's offered two contradictory answers: one, that people shouldn't have to answer such questions and, two, that he's not gay.

Tenacious to say the least and armed with a video camera, Rogers recently cornered Mehlman at a DC-conference to find out the truth. So, what did Mehlman have to say for himself?

Follow this here link to find out for yourself.

What would the morning be with a quick update on the scandal of the moment? We'll keep it short, we promise.

Expanding their investigation into how deep in the shit Foley actually is, the FBI has started questions former Congressional pages who may have had contact with the disgraced pol in the past. First on the list, Jordan Edmund, who worked as a House page in both 2001 and 2002. The political go-getter's currently slaving away on Republican Ernest Istook's gubernatorial campaign in Oklahoma, where his meeting with the FBI will be taking place. Oh to be a fly on the wall in that one...

Edmund's just the beginning of what may prove to be a disastrous investigation for Foley, who's currently in rehab for his alleged alcohol problem. We can't help but wonder if he's keeping track of all this drama, or if he's stuck his head in the sand a la Speaker Dennis "Hasturd" Hastert.

Speaking of ol' Turd-ball, a new CBS poll "shows" (as much as these things really can) that 46% of American people think the Speaker should step down from him post. Tenacious to say the least, Hasturd's insisted again and again that not only will he not step down, he intends to keep the seat for another term. Considering that the aforementioned CBS poll also suggests that four out of five people believe the GOP cares more about political standing than the safety of Congressional pages, Turdie better count his blessings...

All the Foley fall out, coupled with gay history month (and a few helpful links from our friends over at Virtual Matter), bring back memories of another gay political sex scandal. Harking back to the days of George Bush Sr. (an era that seems glorious compared to the fuck-all job his son's been doing) this scandal involved Republicunts procuring kiddie sex from a national kidnapping/pimping racket. The fall-out reached the upper echelons of the government.

Though no top leaders from the inner sanctums of the West Wing were ever arraigned, two Republican officials, George Spence and Lawrence King, took much of the heat for the scandal.

A documentary called The Conspiracy of Silence chronicling the impropriety had been scheduled to air on The Discovery Channel back in 1994. Unfortunately, after government officials threatened legislative action, it got yanked faster than a teenage wank. Luckily, it's available at You Tube. (Don't you love the internet?) We'd post it for you, but it's about an hour long and, well, we can't do everything for you.

Also, another source tells us that one of the boys kidnapped and sold into the sex ring recently surfaced on his mother's door step and told her that he he could never testify because too many high ranking officials would be implicated, thus putting his already torturous life in danger. He then kissed her and made himself scarce. No word's been heard from him since.

This was way before Mark Foley's time, but we bet the pervo's sorry he missed all those late-night kiddie orgies. (Oh, and if you're wondering what that picture is, it's Lady Justice, flying down to start some major shit.)

A few cities across the country have employed gay police liaisons in an effort to curb homophobic aggression on the behalf of their police forces. Now, The Washington Gay and Lesbian Liaison is being cited as a model. Founded in 2000, the 15-member strong group works with other flat foots and community volunteers (aka snitches) to solve crimes among gay communities. We think that's swell, but what we find most alluring is the group's leader, Sgt. Brett Parson (pictured). According to a piece from 365 Gay, the "burly" Parson gave up his gig as a hockey ref to fight crime. Forget superheroes, we want more coppers like Parson. We'll gladly snitch.

• Thursday's WorldPride vigil in Jerusalem's central square – already the focus of much controversy – was hijacked by Lebanon war protestors, who carried their near the gathering. Police had to detain some protesters and intervened to keep them from stampeding over the vigil. [Jerusalem Post]

• Though the organizers of the Gay Games and OutGames have zero intention of coming together for a single sports event, many athletes hope they do; many "missed the unification that one event offers." [Washington Blade]

• Washington D.C.'s Gay Men's Chorus performed the national anthem at Tuesday night's Washington Nationals basketball game — to a standing ovation (though it might've had something to do with the crowd already being on their feet during the "Star Spangled Banner"). [Advocate]

• In New Mexico, more arrests come in the gay bashing case of an 18-year-old. Twenty-one-year-old Leroy Segura and Cecily Gonzales, 16, join two suspects already in custody. [Advocate]

• In Ireland, a gay hotel that was supposed to go up in a small town will now just be a fleeting memory. Promoter Brian Berry had planned on revamping the Carlow hotel but the current owner decided instead to sell it off to a heterosexual couple. [Pink News]

• Though he'll continue to play for Real Madrid, David Beckham won't have a spot on the English national team. While he stepped down from being captain after the World Cub, Beckham isn't being put on the roster by England's new manager Steve McClaren. [CNN]

• Esquire names Sean Preston Federline the "Worst Dressed Man in the World." [Page Six, last item]

Our nation's capital has so far made little progress in the fight against HIV, and part of the problem has to do with testing. Either D.C. residents are more reluctant to get tested than residents of other cities (not likely) or the Administration for HIV Policy and Programs has bungled the process of gathering the numbers thus far despite receiving gobs of federal funding.

The group has announced that before the end of this year they will be launching an aggressive new campaign to test everyone in the city between the ages of 14 and 84 for HIV. They will be distributing 80,000 oral HIV testing kits to area hospitals, local health organizations, and schools, and will also be holding screenings in Freedom Plaza, which began on Tuesday.

If you live in D.C., please go to Freedom Plaza and get a test. The oral tests are easy, painless, take 20 minutes, and the AHPP will keep your results completely confidential.

Testing Away HIV [Washington Post]

• A note to all British gays trying to get married in Hong Kong. "You're in China now, bitch! No marriage for you." [IHT]

• A trannie who served in the Navy during Operation Desert Shield is running for Congress in Missouri as a Republican. Midge Potts is running low on cash, but not on opinions, and we love her. [Columbia Daily Tribune]

• Sen. John McCain is definitely voting against the Federal Marriage Amendment, but supports outlawing samesex marriage in his home state of Arizona. Dammit, he's a federalist not a homo-lover! [Arizona Republic]

• Gays do not have to sit at the back of the bus in D.C., even if the homophobic bus driver tells them to. [Washington Blade]