Oh, don't think that we've forgotten about Why Gay Me?, our series of embarrassing stories a la Seventeen. Only gayer.

We actually received this story a few weeks ago, but didn't post it because it's a bit long. As it's almost the weekend, we figured you guys have some time on your hands to take a few minutes to pour over reader Richard's over-the-top tale.

And when we say "over-the-top", we mean entirely unbelievable. As trusting folk, we're inclined to believe that when he was younger, Richard met a New Kids on the Block obsessed, trailer park living lover, went back to said trailer park, got shat on and ended up falling through the shower floor. Because, really, you couldn't make this up.

Have a laugh at Richard's expense, after the jump...

[Read On ...]

Our favorite prodigal homo-journo, Jesse Trautmann, has made the proverbial return! Hoo-rah!

While we'd like to think it's because Trautmann couldn't stop thinking about our slutty-selves, we know it's just a bit of self-promotion. That's alright. We've said it before and we'll say it again: shameless self-promotion pays (although, we were shamelessly promoting ourselves on the corner last night, and let's just say the pay wasn't that great).

Anyway, ol' Trauttie sent us this link to the latest installment in his sometimes funny, sometimes feckless, always faggy series of romantically-inclined essays. In it, Trautmann recalls his first - and subsequently last - rim job.

It was my first time with penetration... We started going at it, but after a few minutes I couldn't keep going, so I told him to stop. He obliged, but proceeded to flip me over and start rimming me. Being a naive virgin, I didn't know what he was doing back there, nor did I know exactly how clean I was. I was on all fours and nervous as hell, but apparently clean, because he was enjoying himself.

Then, without warning, I farted. [My boyfriend] sat up with a disgusted look on his face. He quickly pulled at his tongue the way you do when lint or fluff is stuck on it. I was mortified and speechless.

You may recall that we've recently resurrected the long-dormant, short-lived series, "Why Gay Me?", in which we invite readers to send us their most embarrassing, mortifying, and downright humiliating stories. We've gotten some good responses so far, but were especially taken by a reader named Jase's anecdote on how a night of raising safe-sex awareness ended with him in handcuffs - and not in a good way.

It seems poor Jase got a little too drizzed at the bar, decided to take a trick home, got pulled over, and hauled off to jail. If that doesn't sound so bad, why don't you dive into the jump and read the story in his words. It sounds really shitty. Jase, if you're out there, we hope you can have a good laugh about it now. We're assuming you and your trick didn't have a second go?

If you've had some unfortunate events you're willing to share, send 'em our way. A reader named Erik describes this series as "snotty" and "bitchy", but we don't find it to be either. We prefer silly and cathartic, but that's just us...

[Read On ...]

That Louise Egan Brunstad story really brought us down. To cheer ourselves up, we're reviving the short-lived Why Gay Me?

How short-lived was it? Well, it didn't make it past the pilot posting, brought to an untimely death by a tragic lack of response. We were heart-broken, to say the least.

But, we're hopeful you kids will step up to offer your most embarrassing hook-ups, trip-ups, and fuck-ups. C'mon, don't be shy! We've all had our share of humiliation, so why not have a nice, friendly laugh? Here's an example of what we're looking for:

A freshly dumped friend of ours decided to cheer himself up by having a good ol' fashioned drunken Friday night slut fest. As he'd been trapped in an unhappy, sexless relationship for nearly two years, he got a bit too zealous and wound up absolutely twisted by eleven.

As happens, his drunkeness only enhanced his surging libido and he managed to slur his way through superficial flirting before going back to his hunky trick's nearby apartment.

Upon arriving, the trick offered our friend a nice glass of scotch before going down for a little oral action. Again, our friend was trashed beyond belief, and thus over-estimated his ability to hold his booze. WItin seconds of downing the scotch, it (and a slew of other things) came right back up, landing unceremoniously on the back of his trick's bobbing head.

Needless to say, there wasn't a second hook-up.

See? Wasn't that fun? Plus, the more responses we get, the more opportunities we have to use this great picture of a made-up monkey.

We bet he's so embarrassed.