We're not sure how they did it, but the kids over at World of Wonder dug up some footage of Madonna's first live performance at Haoui Montaug's No Entiendes party way back in 1982. They've got it posted here, but the video takes a little while too load, so we've gone ahead and reposted the entire eight minute and two second spectacular of a spectacularly lackluster rendition of "Everybody", after the jump.

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• We laughed out loud at this. Watch "Full Flex," a study of unapologetic narcissism. Our favorite moment? When he points at his own back-dimples. It goes on forever, but he's pretty pleased with himself at the end. [SocialiteLife]

• If you're not at work--or if you won't get fired--look here. So, so not safe for work. And watch it alone, so no one will see your jaw drop. [WOW]

• Drag Queen to PETA: "Kiss my ass." A.k.a., the "Gayest Blog Post Ever." [itaintwilliam]

• Maven and Alexis Arquette: will they go all the way? If you can't handle the show, just put your TV on mute and watch Maven walk around nekkid, it's totally hot. [Rod 2.0]

• Wilmer Valderrama, of Party Monster and That 70's Show fame, is well hung. And from the looks of it, he's a creep. [CityRag]

• All major networks nix new pro-gay "Ejector Seat" commercial by United Church Of Christ. Not only do they make pro-gay commercials, but they generate interest by getting censored, Madonna-style. Now THAT is some savvy queer marketing. [TheMalcontent]

• Let’s hope the new james Bond is a grower, since he’s obviously not a shower. [WOW Report]

• We’d like to find out the same about Chad Michael Murray. [The Malcontent]

• Philadelphia is giving away trips to the city for its "Ultimate Gay Stay Giveaway.” They don’t call it The City of Brotherly Love for nothing. [Go Phila]

• Deep down you’ve known all along. It’s your mother’s fault. [Gay.com]

• “The self-portrait . . . has become a kind of folk art for the digital age.” Yeah, we’ve seen a lot of folk art on Manhunt. [NY Times]

• William Shatner may go gay. [WOW Report]

• Even in the world of dorks, The Gays are not fairly treated. [Gay.com]

• Donald Trump has fired back at Martha Stewart. [A Socialite’s Life]

• Get ready to go to Berlin this summer. The Love Parade is returning. [BBC]

• We just fell in love. Again. [Made In Brazil]

• Heatherette or Catholic? Either way, these outfits are flaming. [Proceed At Your Own Risk]

• Madonna and Britney have been caught talking on film. Of course World of Wonder found this. [WOW Report]

• Officials in Ocean County, New Jersey have had a change of heart. Laurel Hester, the policewoman dying of cancer, can leave her pension benefits to her partner, Stacie Andree. [The Big Gay Picture]

• People have been talking about how gay the Golden Globes were. They were, but not because of the movies. Did you catch Isaac Mizrahi? He's coming back for the Oscars. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

• General Hospital is dealing with the coming out of one of its characters with tremendous respect. They’ve even teamed up with GLAAD. [ABC News]

• We love Varla Jean Merman. This is just more proof as to why. [Frontiers]

• Poor members of the AFA. They go through so much just to hate us! [Manhattan Offender]

• Pete Burns continues to prove he is the UK’s Janice Dickinson. [WOW Report]

• Rich has schooled us on Italo Disco, the “heavily synthesized, heavily arpeggiated, Moroder-inspired post-disco disco that thrived from about '79-'87.” The Sylvester track posted is pure heaven. [Four Four]

• Justin Timberlake is set to open a LES restaurant. With one announcement, the Lower East Side is officially over. [Gawker]

It is our duty around here to bring you as many low budget videos based on tracks from Madonna’s Confessions on a Dance Floor album as humanly possible. We started with him, then it was him, then it was her, and now we have a new video. This one may not have a drag queen, but at least it’s not “Hung Up.”

Like It Or Not Movie [World of Wonder]

• We miss World of Wonder’s “Ask a Black Girl” column. But, now that we have “Ask an Asian Girl,” we’re all good. [WOW Report]

• Elephants, transvestites, and ABBA. Finally, a sport we can get into around here! [Gay.com]

• We don’t need this, since you know, we have great asses. But some of you bottoms who want a firmer bottom just might want to snatch up the Bottom Reformulator Cushion. [Gadget Universe]

• Rikers is closing its gay jail. A gay jail? We had no clue they even existed. But it sounds kinda hot. [NY Daily News]

• “Gay lawmaker expects ‘intense’ session.” Intense session? Giggle. We expect that every time we cruise Craigslist. [Southern Voice]

Our obsession with all things WOW continues with this video for the Madonna/MIA mash-up. We mean, really, this shit is hilarious. Everything World of Wonder touches is gold.

Thanks for the laugh and for the inspiration. We now have new ideas for things our interns can do for this site. Naked dancing to Madonna. It's all in a day's work.

Hold The Phone! [WOW Report]

One of our closest friends in San Francisco sent us a link to the Calendario Romano 2006 yesterday and we immediately got on our hands and knees and starting praying. For more calendars of hot, Italian priests.

Our friends over at World of Wonder also featured these hotties yesterday. So just take this post as our way of spreading the faith. Oh, father.

$1.75 from each sale goes to the London HIV charity The Food Chain. So you can feel good about buying them up as Christmas presents for all the recovering Catholics you know. Or you can snap one up for yourself and pull it out now and then, whenever you want to confess your sins.

• So that big gay Brazilian kiss never happened. And the gays in Brazil are so not happy. They are performing a kiss-a-thon in protest today. Yum, hot gay guys kissing in the streets. Someone take pictures!

• Patti Lupone, yes Evita and now Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd, lets the world in on a secret. Drama club is for freaks and gays.

• Sweaty giant hairy testicles ran the New York Marathon yesterday. For a minute we thought it was Gay Pride.

• Madonna took Lourdes to the Harry Potter premiere in London on Sunday. We could care less about her. We had more important pictures to get excited over. Namely, the suddenly in puberty Mr. Daniel Radcliffe. We are calling it. In a few years Harry Potter is gonna be hot.

• Our WOW friends gather answers to the question “Why is Michael Musto important?” from a selection of the freaks and the famous. We are neither, so they did not ask us.

• Bradford was on Logo this weekend being interviewed. That was fun and next time we promise to give you a better head’s up.

Queerty loves all things World of Wonder: Party Monster, Eyes of Tammy Faye, Stephen Saban, James St. James. Which means that we are going coocoo for the premiere of Transgeneration. Directed by Jeremy Simmons and executive produced by Fenton Bailey(he knows our names!) and Randy Barbato, the film joins four different students on their journey of transitioning to the opposite sex.

Gabbie, Lucas, Raci, and T.J. are all in different stages of transitioning and all come from different walks of life.

Transgeneration launches September 20th on the Sundance Channel. We just hope that the timing does not conflict with America's Next Top Model.