To celebrate the holidays, Queerty is playing Santa to all your favorite folks and asking what they want under the tree/ next to the menorah/ beside the Saturnalia bonfire this year, no Ms. America answers allowed.
While watching True Blood this season, did anyone else notice how the song that Lafayette makes Jason Stackhouse dance to wearing only tightey-whities and a Laura Bush mask is Jonny “The Gay Pimp” McGovern‘s hit “Soccer Practice”? That song is just never going to die. Besides collecting residuals from HBO, McGovern is a podcaster, singer and stand-up comedian (you may remember him from Logo’s The Big Gay Sketch Comedy Show). He recently did a parody of Queerty’s favoritest song of all time, “Single Ladies” called “Tranny Ladies (Put Some More Duct Tape On It)” and despite the whole “gay pimp” persona, Jonny’s one of the nicest folks we know.
What does the guy who coined the phrase “Girl I fucked Yo’ Boyfriend” want for the holidays? Find out after the jump.
“For Xmas I’d like Martha Wash to come a a’carolin at my door and scream all my favorite Christmas carols to me. That would be a slice of black diva heaven!”
Nickthekick
Jinny McGovern Rocks! Wishing him all the best for the holiday’s. Oh and dude, I fucked your boyfriend.
PJ
@Nickthekick: “…I fucked your boyfriend. All of them.”
HAHAHA
I agree with Johnny, though. I wouldn’t mind having a little Dinah under my Christmas tree. While we are at it, I will take a little Aretha, Sarah (Vaughn), Eartha and some Ella for spice.
Merry Christmas, Johnny.
James Bartlett
Dustin Hoffman: “Blindfold is great recession-busting holiday giftâ€
Economy got you down? If so, a blindfold is great gift for under $15, says Academy Award winning actor.
LOS ANGELES — Economy got you down? Wallet flatter than a pancake?
If so, Academy Award winning actor Dustin Hoffman has the perfect holiday gift idea for you: Buy your loved one a blindfold and create a unique bedroom experience.
“I’m serious,†Hoffman told a panel of giggling hosts on a daytime talk show this past week. “It’s affordable, it’s creative, it requires no batteries, whether A, double A, triple A or even D. Really, what you are giving is an experience.â€
According to Hoffman, we all touch, hear, taste and feel more intensely in the dark. “By putting on a blindfold and depriving our sense of sight, we can experience a whole new range of exquisite sensations and feelings.â€
The blindfolds themselves can be made of any material, Hoffman says. “But the smoothest and most sensual material is probably silk – a silk scarf is perfect. So we’re talking $10, $12 here. Decide who will be the first to have a go, then the ‘sighted’ partner can tie the scarf around the ‘blind’ partner’s head.â€
And the blindfold can have psychological benefits for both men and for women — and especially those with body image issues, Hoffman opines.
“The blindfold can relieve a man of his sense of responsibility for doing all the right things, and it can also relieve a woman of her need to look the right way,†he says. “When a woman is blindfolded, her sexual experience will be eye-opening, in a manner of speaking. Without the mental stress of her appearance, she’s free to lose herself in the sensations of the moment.â€
At 71, Hoffman has now been a star for more than 40 years. In his latest movie, “Last Chance Harvey,” coming out Christmas, he plays Harvey Shine, a man whom life has disappointed, and whose daughter nearly breaks his heart when she asks her stepfather to walk her down the aisle.
It’s a part, Hoffman says, that was written specifically for him. And though, in real life, Hoffman walked his own daughter Jenna down the aisle, he and his character, Harvey Shine, have at least one disappointment in common.
“I originally wanted to be a jazz pianist,” he said. “I still want to be a jazz pianist.”
And when Harvey Shine woos Kate Walker (played by Emma Thompson) at the piano, Hoffman is playing his own composition, “Shoot the Breeze.”
“The song is a song I wrote when I was in my 20s, when my first girlfriend left me for our acting teacher,” he laughed. “”The lyrics were written later, by Bette Midler.”
Hoffman knows a second career in music remains unlikely, but that doesn’t stop him from hoping.
“If I got tapped on the shoulder by God, or whomever, and said, ‘You know, I’ll make you a jazz pianist from now on, but you can’t act anymore,’ I would take that in a second.”
In the Joel Hopkins-directed “Harvey,†Hoffman plays a New York jingle-writer who doesn’t quite toil in the tower of song; maybe in a small office in a nearby strip mall. He’s older, tired, headed to London for his daughter’s wedding and obsessing about getting back fast in time for a job-related meeting. Harvey’s dreading the trip before he even takes it, which guarantees it will be dreadful, but then he meets Kate Walker (Emma Thompson), another single, singular person unwilling to confront the terrifying possibility of happiness.