To celebrate the holidays, Queerty is playing Santa to all your favorite folks and asking what they want under the tree/ next to the menorah/ beside the Saturnalia bonfire this year, no Ms. America answers allowed.
With our stockings hung by the chimney and presents nestled under the tree, it's time for Queerty to say goodbye to our wish list feature. For our final installment, our team at Jossip Initiatives shares with you our own personal wish lists of what we'd like for the holidays, other than of course, a smile on our reader's faces.
Find out what we'd like to be getting if we weren't already getting coal already after the jump.
Japhy Grant:
I have this problem where I go shopping for clothes and always wind up buying a jacket instead. I think it comes from spending so many years living in places where the weather is so goddamn awful that the jacket is your primary fashion statement. I have my eye on a Journal Standard hooded varsity jacket, but it's only available in Japan right now, so my badass and much-needed style makeover is on indefinite hold for the time being. Oh, and the national anthem needs to be changed to "Islands in the Stream."
David Hauslaib:
To have a whole new crop of gay celebrities come out next year; for Americans to take their Obama blinders off; to not always be in the one JetBlue seat without a working TV; and for the BlackBerry Bold to come to T-Mobile.
Cord Jefferson:
I'd really like it if everyone stopped being dicks to each other, grasped the commonality of anguish and worked to make the human experience better for all. If that's too pageanty: I'd wear the hell out of a new light grey, herringbone, double breasted suit from Brooks Brothers. Come Thursday, I'll probably receive neither, which is fine.
Brandon Schultz:
I'd like Dolly Parton to bring me a royal blue Snuggly Blanket with arm sleeves so we could sit on the front porch swing and still be able to hold our Jack Daniels.
Drew Grant:
More Charlie Kaufman films. I know that sounds dorky, but he's one of the only writers/directors I still find myself totally engrossed by. Nothing he does sucks, and I wish he did more projects. If he started doing web shorts a la Dr. Horrible, I would shit myself.
And now, it's your turn. Tell us and your fellow readers what you want for the holidays. And remember our cardinal rule: No Miss America answers. And would it be easier to just show us what you want? Post an image! Either:
• Use the link near the "Submit" button to enter the URL of the image you want to post; or
• Wrap the image URL you want to post with [img] and [/img] tags, like so: [img]http://www.flickr.com/photoimage.jpg[/img]
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Could we get an explanation of Obama Blinders? Does that mean he isn't the Messaih we have all been promised?
The grinning Hauslaib would be perfectly happy if innocent Duke students were rotting in prison now. Until he makes amends, he deserves something WAY worse than coal.
[img]http://media.photobucket.com/image/fish/Jose_Bean/fish.jpg[/img]
hey, i'm jesus, i want a fish. thanks god!
why didn't my fish show up?
@jesus: That file from Photobucket doesn't allow images to be "hotlinked." You need to use this URL:
http://i176.photobucket.com/al.....n/fish.jpg
to make it appear this way:
[img]http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w177/Jose_Bean/fish.jpg[/img]
@Matt: You're getting warmer.
I would like a cute elf to make out with, a la my newest illustration – [img]http://fc72.deviantart.com/fs38/f/2008/358/a/4/a46e0f390bd92f913ace1bc38314a5ec.jpg[/img]
Or at least a hot daddy Santa – [img]http://fc56.deviantart.com/fs38/i/2008/358/5/6/Polar_Bear_by_REBELComx.jpg[/img]
Sorry…shameless self promotion :~)
"I have this problem where I go shopping for clothes and always wind up buying a jacket instead."
I think I have twice as many jackets as I have shirts to put under them. It's an obsession, yes…but nothing to be ashamed of…or so I tell myself. :[
So my Christmas wish would be to have a male shopping partner (too many girls already) like Japhy. It could go either way: we'd either egg each other on or we'd be able to talk sense into each other. Either way, sounds like a blast to me. I think we may have different tastes, too, which helps. (Gaultier's Fall 2008 Collection. So good…so outrageously expensive…)
I want puppies and Happy Little Elves, please!
I want fabulous wedding presents, and I want them next year, when the same sex marriage issue resolved with full on approval.
A roll in the hay with Brad Pitt at my Bachelor Party wouldn't be bad either. You all come watch now.
Ok…so I am late for my wish. But unlike Santa, I come more than once a year. [eyes rolling]
Anyways…Puppies sure sound good. Peace on earth is really too Miss America but still needed. A pool boy here are there would be nice.
Best of all…I want all the best for everyone in 2009. (Can I help I am a selfless person?) ;)
@REBELComx:
Those illustrations are yet more ammunition for the straights who think us queers are all paedos.