AWARDS SEASON

Queerty’s Oscar Predictions: Who Will Win And Who Should Win Sunday Night?

We’re popping the popcorn and getting our best formal wear ready for Sunday’s big Academy Awards extravaganza. (Yes, darlings, we don full tux-and-tails at our Oscar viewing party.)

Earlier in the week we shared some great queer flicks that didn’t get nominated by the Academy. Today Queerty whiz kids Dan Avery and Evan Mulvihill look at the films that did get nominated in the six major categories (Best Actress/Actor, Best Supporting Actor/Actress, Best Director and Best Film) plus a few others they felt like weighing in on.

Are our boys right on the money or way off base? Place your bets in the comments section!

FIRST UP: Best Actor!

Photo: Columbia Pictures

 

Best Actor: Demián Bichir (A Better Life), George Clooney (The Descendants), Jean Dujardin (The Artist) Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Brad Pitt (Moneyball)

Dan: None of these are huge flashy pictures, but I’m gonna say Clooney gets the Oscar. In fact, I think the Academy would give him Best Supporting Actress and Best Full Frontal if it could. But I want Dujardin to win—even though we don’t get to hear his sexy French accent in The Artist.

Evan: I want Jean Dujardin to win, too. He can totally tie me up in a Paris dungeon and have his way with me.  Sure, I’d allow Pitt and Clooney to do that too, but Monsieur Dujardin would do it best.

NEXT: Best Actress

 Photo: Fox Searchlight

 

 

Best Actress: Glenn Close (Albert Nobbs),  Viola Davis (The Help), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo),  Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady), Michelle Williams (My Week with Marilyn)

Dan: Who do I think will win? Viola David (for the feel-good role) or Meryl Streep (’cause she’s Meryl Streep). Who do I want to win? Anyone but Michelle Williams. I’d rather watch Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino in Norma Jean & Marilyn three times in a row than sit through My Week with Marilyn again.

Evan: This one is a toughie—I love all these bitches! Meryl and Glenn will probably battle it out for the statue, which is okay. I mean how can any self-respecting gay man not worship them? But my personal pick is underdog Rooney Mara, because she freaking killed it in Dragon Tattoo. I went into that movie having seen all of the Swedish versions and—while I thought Noomi Rapace was pretty good—Mara did the brooding bisexual punk chick thing to perfection. #TeamRooney

Photo: The Weinstein Company

NEXT: Best Supporting Actor

 

Best Supporting Actor: Kenneth Branagh (My Week with Marilyn, Jonah Hill (Moneyball ), Nick Nolte (Warrior), Christopher Plummer (Beginners), Max von Sydow (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

Evan: I know I’m totally pandering to the one queer character in this category, but it should be Plummer. You gotta love the guy for playing an older gay man who comes out of the closet, puts on a purple shirt, pops some ecstasy and parties like it’s 1999. And the Academy will too.

Dan: Not to be a Debbie Downer, Ev, but this one is Plummer’s to lose: He’s already won a slew of awards for the role and he’s a beloved thespian in his golden years who’s never won an Oscar. 

NEXT: Best Supporting Actress

Photo: Focus Features


Best Supporting Actress: Bérénice Bejo (The Artist), Jessica Chastain (The Help), Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids),  Janet McTeer (Albert Nobbs), Octavia Spencer (The Help)

Evan: Who am I rooting for? Melissa McCarthy! Girlfriend was hilarious in Bridesmaids. Beyond funny. And have you seen her in the outtakes? They’re even better than the real thing! Who will win? Who cares?

Dan: I’m not sure why the Weinsteins didn’t submit Bejo for Best Actress consideration. She’s in The Artist as much as Jean Dujardin, who’s up for Best Actor, and she’d have a better shot in that category. I think this one’s no contest: The Help‘s Octavia Spencer probably has her acceptance speech memorized and number of tear drops calculated already.

NEXT: Best Costumes


Photo: The Weinstein Company

 

Best Costume Design: Anonymous, The Artist, Hugo, Jane Eyre, W.E.

Dan: The Artist really did an amazing job with period costumes and will probably get the Oscar, which I’m okay with. It would be awesome if W.E. nailed it, though, so a Madonna movie could be an Oscar winner for something other than Best Original Song. 

Evan: I’m throwing W.E. a bone here: Madonna got robbed in Best Song and the movie’s stunning outfits were designed by legit fashion hot-shot Arianne Phillips. Hugo also had flawless early 20th-century duds, but W.E.’s were freakin’ Parisian haute couture. You can’t beat that.

NEXT: Best Original Song

Photo: The Weinstein Company


Best Original Song: “Man or Muppet” (The Muppets), “Real in Rio” (Rio)

Evan:  My vote’s with “Real in Rio.” Those are some cute-ass birds—and the song just makes me happy. JTBC (just to be clear), “Real in Rio” is not on the level of “Under the Sea,” though I see some similarities in their expository exultation of exotic ensembles.

Dan: I just don’t understand why there are only two nominees in this category. All those movies that came out last year and they couldn’t fine a few more decent songs? Is this to make up for all the damn Best Picture nominees? Also, I’m still livid that Madonna didn’t get “Masterpiece” to qualify in this category. Girl, what were you thinking?!? Not that I particularly like it—I just love it when Madge gives grandiose acceptance speeches in her clipped faux-British accent. Of the actual nominees, though, I gotta go with “Man or Muppet.” I mean, it’s the Muppets! Don’t you wanna see Kermit and Piggy accept the award?


NEXT: Best Director

 Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

 

Best Director: Woody Allen (Midnight in Paris), Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist), Terrence Malick (The Tree of Life), Alexander Payne (The Descendants), Martin Scorsese (Hugo)

Evan: If the Academy wants to do like the Golden Globes and stroke Martin Scorsese’s oversized ego, so be it. But let’s throw this one to Malick, why not? He’s only got one Oscar, so far but it’s for Best Cinematography (Days of Heaven) and happened in 1979. Dude makes a picture like every 20 years and they’re always gorgeously abstruse—something Hollywood hardly ever does anymore. And of course Malick was brilliant to cast the beautiful Brad Pitt in the lead role.

Dan: Hazanavicius should and will win. And then maybe I’ll learn how to pronounce his name.

NEXT: Best Picture

Photo: The Weinstein Company

 

Best Picture: The Artist,  The Descendants, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo,
Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, The Tree of Life

Evan: Why are there so many damn nominees in this category? I am a fan of limited options—I f**king freak out at Costco. For me it’s between War Horse and Hugo for the win. But I’m gonna pick Hugo because War Horse was way too long—and in real life Joey totally would’ve gotten killed at some point. A horse can’t just traipse all over WWI Europe and not get shot or break a leg. It just wouldn’t happen.

Dan: Personally, I’d love to see Hugo win too—or The Artist. They’re actually quite similar: both illustrate a fascinating chapter in cinematic history in a way that’s informative, engaging and entertaining. But I think the award will probably go to The Descendants, a.k.a First-World Problems or The Help, a.k.a White People Solve Racism. If there’s anything Academy voters love, it’s indulging their own self-centeredness.


Photo: Touchstone Pictures

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