GROW SOME BALLS

Queerty’s Quick-N-Easy Apology Guide For Athletes Who Say “Faggot”

When Kobe Bryant and Roger McDowell first uttered their “homo” and “faggot” slurs, we had no idea how popularly the trend would catch on with other sports stars!

First DeSean Jackson called a radio caller a “gay ass faggot”. The during a game last week, White Sox Gordon Beckham wrote “GETZ IS GAY” in the dirt, referring to his former teammate Chris Getz. Then minor league pitcher Ian Krol Tweeted an anti-slur.

Jackson, Beckham, McDowell, and Bryant all share something in common: an immature initial response to being called out on their hurtful language. But Queerty’s here to help fix that so that the next morons to utter an anti-gay slur can get on with the apology, on with the consequences, and on with their lives. And it’s much easier than the public penance we laid out for Tracy Jordan!

But before we get onto our prescription for apology, let’s look at what the fuck was wrong with Jackson and Beckham’s original response to media coverage of their slurs. DeSean initially tweeted with: “WANNA BRING ME DOWN BUT IM OK!!” and “THEY LOOKN 2 TAKE YA DOWN AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER HOW POSITIVE AND WHAT U DO!! ITS ALWAYS A WAY THEY TRY TO GET YA…. IM STANDIN TALL.”

Hmm… who is “THEY”? The haters? The media? The pink mafia? The goblins who live inside Jackson’s shoe closet?

DeSean had done good gay-positive work when he gave an autographed jersey to support Nadin Khoury, a 13-year-old Pennsylvania boy who got attacked on his way home from school by six teens who then threw him in a tree, then hung him upside down from an iron fence, and then uploaded the video of their assault to YouTube.

But sadly, his recent on-air slur will overshadow that good deed, but at least Jackson had the good sense to delete the above tweets and then tweet the following:

“I am sorry for using words that I know to be hurtful and unacceptable in a recent radio interview. I have made a mistake and would like to make it clear that words I used meant no disrespect to the Gay and Lesbian community. Intolerance is unacceptable and I apologize to anyone I have offended.”

Oh dear. Before we get to explaining what sucks about that apology, let us move onto Beckham’s non-apology:

Obviously I apologize and kind of want to move on. Obviously it was meant as a joke but obviously it was in the wrong place and I didn’t mean it that way. I will just try to move on.

The White Sox general manager Ken Williams did a lit better beforehand by saying:

But I’m just disappointed for this to come on the heels of the Kobe Bryant thing, and [Joakim] Noah, and, yes, a number of years ago, the issue with Ozzie [Guillen]. There just needs to be a greater awareness of when you’re in the public eye. Something between two friends meant as a joke? Well, you’re representing not just yourself, but your team, your sport, your family.

The organization didn’t do it. He did it. He should apologize for making us less than what we stand for.

So here’s the issue with their apologies: Jackson says, “the words I used meant no disrespect to the Gay and Lesbian community” when they clearly did. Calling someone you disrespect a “gay ass faggot” is an intentional diss of all the gay ass faggots in our community. Don’t tell us it’s not. It’s insulting and makes you look even more unaware of your own ignorance.

Then Beckham’s apology: “[I] kind of want to move on. Obviously it was meant as a joke… and I didn’t mean it that way.” In other words, get over it, you sensitive homos. OBVIOUSLY it was a joke and if you didn’t get my hilarious joke then it’s your problem because I’m ready to move on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxmoGeTJtiw

Here’s the deal, athletes call each other fags and have gotten away with doing it for a long time. Some use it in a misogynist way to imply that a man is somehow effeminate and thus weak. But others use the word the same way CK Louis does to imply that one is needlessly annoying.

Either way, you can expect more athletes to say it and more weak-assed apologizing. So how about we cut through the bullshit and get down to a good-assed apology? Here’s how to do it:

1) Stop acting macho:

Don’t act all badass for shitting on a politically-oppressed minority. You used a slur that’s regularly repeated when beating queers down. Accept that. No amount of joking or intention changes the word’s meaning and you shouldn’t act like anyone who calls you out on it is a super-sensitive jerkwad.

2) Say you’re sorry and explain why:

“I’m truly sincerely sorry for calling so-and-so an anti-gay slur. The caller/my teammate/the referee upset me and in anger/a comedic attempt/stupidity I uttered those hateful, hurtful words.

3) Acknowledge all the people you have hurt:

“I want to apologize to (the person I called a fag). Please accept my apology. My actions have hurt and offended the LGBT community and to them I apologize as well. Lastly, my actions have disappointed my team, our sponsors, and my fans and so to them I apologize as well.”

See? That way you acknowledge the far-reaching effects of such hateful language and try to make amends with everyone that will undoubtedly suffer from your words.

4) Explain what you will do you atone for your dickishness:

“I have decided to spend a few thousand dollars and part of my time to (some local or national gay charity) to better understand my hurtful actions. And I will spend the rest of my career fighting such language around me whether it occurs, on the field, in the locker room, online, or on TV.”

You need to spend at least a little time and money to show that you take seriously the harm perpetuated by your words. The more money you make, the more you must invest. As for time, just call a group and ask how you can be of service. Hell, make it a photo op. That might just win you a few new fans.

5) At least act humble, goddammit:

“I take responsibilities for my actions and hope you will accept my apology.”

See how much better that sounds than “I’m sorry if you were offended by my obvious joke. Can we please just move on?” It transfers the power back to the very people you have wronged. You have laid yourself at their mercy and now they can have the chance to heal by forgiving you. Healing all around!

But Jim Buzinski of OutSports has a different remedy for making sure such slurs stop happening:

I’d like to see a teammate stand up and tell him or the next guy (’cause it will happen again) immediately after he or the next guy says something offensive, that what he said was wrong, offensive, unacceptable et al. Until athletes who make homophobic remarks are shunned by their peers, no athlete will understand the error of his ways, and apologies will remain meaningless.

Amen.

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