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  QUEERTY QUERY

QUESTION: Did Dharun Ravi Get A Fair Sentence?

Welcome to The Queerty Query, where we raise questions and ask you, the readers, to weigh in. Sometimes the questions will be funny, sometimes they’ll be serious—it all depends what the chatter around the water cooler is.

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Today a new Jersey judge Glenn Berman sentenced Dharun Ravi to a 30-day jail term, three years’ probation to begin May 31. He was also fined a $10,000 assessment fee and required to perform300 hours of community service.

Did Dharun Ravi Get An Adequate Jail Sentence?

Though even gay-rights activists questioned whether Ravi should have served jail time at all, he’s received a significantly lighter sentence than the 10 years he could have possibly received.

The judge also recommended Ravi not be deported, though the final decision will be made by others.

Was the sentence fair? Did Ravi get off too lightly—or should he not have been charged at all?

Share your verdict in the comments.

By:           Dan Avery
On:           May 21, 2012
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 79 Comments
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      Absolutely. The judge has made it clear that us fags don’t matter. In a way this was a compassionate decision. It makes it clear to us that we can not expect the courts to take care of us, and that we need to take matters into our own hands.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark
      Mark

      I wasn’t paying attention to the court case. So what did the judge do exactly?

      May 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      Yes.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      No. It should have been more harsh. Karma will boot him down the road of life. Just kick back and watch. Don’t wish it on him, just watch. The only thing I truly wish on him is to hear a solo violin playing, summoning a new day in the early morning hours, just in that twilight between sleep and wakefulness. I want for him to remember Mr. Clementi every time he hears a violin playing in a subway, in a symphony, in a store…I want for his psyche to be haunted by this instrument. Mr. Ravi killed music with his cruelty. Mr. Ravi extinguished Mr. Clementi’s potential. Karma will kick in, even though justice turned a blind eye.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tony
      Tony

      If tyler had been a women Ravi would in jail I hope tylers parents sue the ass off him,.kk just another rich kid getting off easy, this is a new hightec fag bashing.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dionte
      Dionte

      30 days was too light, it should have at least been two years with a chance of parole after one.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ryan
      Ryan

      He should have either gotten more jail time like at least a year OR
      have him deported. It shows how gays are treated like second class citizen’s if some
      one who isn’t even a citizen is let off easy.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Ehrenstein
      David Ehrenstein

      @Oh, ok: No.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Ehrenstein
      David Ehrenstein

      I would have had him thrown off the George Washington Bridge. But then I’m an old softie at heart.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rockery
      Rockery

      Maybe longer 6 months – 1 year

      May 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gabe
      Gabe

      He should have gotten a year in jail and a deportation order. They deport immigrants for stealing chewing gum in most states, but they don’t deport this guy for lying to authorities? There’s all sorts of BS going on with this case.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Yo
      Yo

      He shouldn’t have gotten time at all. Tyler Clementi killed himself, suicide should not be placed upon others, especially for something as light as this. The guy’s a dick, but you shouldn’t be put in prison because the guy you were a dick too, couldn’t hack it.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @David Ehrenstein: You would commit murder. Ok, Bert.

      May 21, 2012 at 2:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stewie
      Stewie

      @Rockery: That’s exactly the length of time I thought would have been appropriate too. Ten years would have been too long, but 30 days seems too short.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @Stewie: 30 days seems to short for spying on someone and possible name calling?

      You people have some serious screws loose and a void in your personal lives.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael DeSelms
      Michael DeSelms

      @Yo: really? If your brother or sister were being bullied, you wouldnt step in and stop it? You must not care about anyones feelings. I feel sorry for anyh children you will have. You must think bullying is ok. Hope it never happens to a loved one of yours.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Carlos
      Carlos

      @12 Yo-Ravi should have gotten years in prison for invasion of privacy and unlawful spying and I’ve seen police slap people with charges that they’re using computers or a computer network for illegal purposes such as spying.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      I said he’d get a slap on the wrist, and he has. All this means is that bullying gay people will get you lenient sentences.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Storm
      Storm

      No. He deserves serious jail time (2 to 5 years), and then a one-way ticket back to India.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stewie
      Stewie

      @Oh, ok: That and bias intimidation, tampering with evidence, and 13 other charges. Serving 30 days out of a possible 10 year sentence (or 0.82%) does seem small, especially considering the extensive media coverage the trial got. But hey, I’ll respect your opinion and I ask you to respect mine.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • T.C.
      T.C.

      David Ehrenstein is a hypocrite and no better than people who commit hate crimes against LGBT people.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chad
      Chad

      1equalityUSA it’s sad that Tyler killed himself but in the end as with all suicides it was his personal choice to end his own life.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jay
      Jay

      I don’t think that Ravi should have been deported.

      May 21, 2012 at 3:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DonsterNYC
      DonsterNYC

      No, this judge just slapped the jury down for it’s decision convict this spoiled brat. People get more jail time for shoplifting!

      May 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      @Fitz: “It makes it clear to us that we can not expect the courts to take care of us, and that we need to take matters into our own hands.”

      Exactly, child. Your chores are waiting for you. The cows need milking. Get to it.

      May 21, 2012 at 4:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Danny
      Danny

      @Yo: He was not charged in connection with Tyler’s suicide. He faced other charges for which he was convicted by a jury.

      He should have gotten more than 30 days. One year minimum. Then deport him (which still might happen).

      May 21, 2012 at 4:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      There is a misapprehension here that courts would be intended to “take care of us”. That is not their function. They are intended to address insults to social norms. In the post – 9/11 United States, ‘the right to privacy’ is an adulterated social norm. Hell, Martha Stewart got more time for trying to cover up a financial mis-deed than Ravi got for his privacy transgression. It is no secret that America values the dollar over the rights of its citizens.

      May 21, 2012 at 4:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jlpc
      jlpc

      This again was a devastating shock just like the Casey Anthony verdict. Our justice system truly needs to be changed. The jury found him guilty on ALL counts and this was truly a waste of time for them and a slap in all of their faces. They should give the sentence not the judge. And to the Clementi family my heart and prayers go out to them. This was not justice for their son. Yes Tyler took his own life, but I believe that if Ravi did not do what he did Tyler would not have jumped off that bridge. He clearly played a part in his death. The judge’s sentence clearly sends the message to all “bullies” out there that they can be as mean and heartless as they want and they will not be held accountable in the court system. Shame on you Judge Berman!!! How would you feel if it were your son who committed suicide because of someone as mean as Ravi? I bet your sentence would have been different. I just wonder what the truth is behind your decision, because I feel that there is more to it than meets the eye!!! I have personally gone through similar circumstances involving “bullying and hazing” and went through the court system in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and although it did not involve anyone dying, it still was an injustice when the Judge dismissed the case because it involved a school district and a football coach, and we all know that in this world today, football is more important than morals and values and ethics. The judge in our case was paid off to make his decision. How sick is that???? So it is not surprising that you made this decision and I would like to know the real truth! No family should have to endure what the Clementi family did and then to have to live with the fact that this despicable person will go on to live a full life while their son will not and it was because of him that he won’t. Watching him at his sentencing clearly proved that he was not sorry in the least and proved it by not even speaking in court. He has a chip on his shoulder that you judge should have knocked off and instead you just slapped him on the wrist and sent him on his way!! I do not know how people like you sleep at night! I am sure that the Clementi family will never sleep well for the rest of their lives and that is just not fair. Someone in this world in our judicial system needs to step up and bring justice to all human beings who are bullied or subjected to hazing!!! With the heigtened awareness of bullying and hazing in our nation today, you Judge Berman had the control to send a message to try to stop and deter anyone from doing this and did not!!!!

      May 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Iudex
      Iudex

      The fact is that this spoiled, sociopathic little Asian ‘prince’ deserves much more than he got. Six months, minimum, a maximum level fine and a clear recommendation of immediate deportation upon completion of his fully served incarceration. This horrible little boy will damage many another life before he is done. Let him do it in India or wherever else is fool enough to take him but not in the USA, please.

      May 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Atasi
      Atasi

      While I usually abhor violence, I won’t shed a tear if a member of the Pink Pistols takes care of business.

      May 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @Iudex: What does his ethnicity have to do with anything?

      May 21, 2012 at 5:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KV
      KV

      I actually think the jail time is a bit harsh. It was two kids trying to get back at each other, and it just went too far. I really think both sides (families included) have already suffered through a lot as is. It’s just a sad case all around.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert Abrami
      Robert Abrami

      Absolutely not. One year, at least so he’ll see what it’s like to be behind bars and see hnow the other half lives. He comes from money and once again it’s the $$$ that keeps the creep to be free after 30 days. And no amount of money or communithy service will bring back Tyler.
      He didn’t evebn stand up when the judge sentenced him. Scum!

      May 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      @KV: In what way was Tyler trying to “get back” at Dharun? Ravi is a remorseless man who still needs to learn a lesson. This 30 days will NOT teach t to him.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KV
      KV

      @jackpapa: The way I’ve read it, this kid wouldn’t stop inviting grown men (who didn’t belong there) back to the room. That was Ravi’s space too, and bringing those guys back has to be a violation of some dorm rule. Clementi could’ve stopped bringing those guys back to the room, or Ravi could’ve just complained to the resident advisor versus handling the way he did. Both guys obviously had some maturing to do, and it’s just sad that it had to end like it did.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe
      Joe

      The crime was spying, broadcasting a private encounter, and obstruction. Tyler did not have the emotional coping skills to deal with it and overreacted by taking his life. It’s tragic that he did not consider other ways to deal with the situation.

      These are crimes we perpetrate on each other. Look at the cyber-bullying going on on A4A, BGC, Manhunt, various chat roulette and all the other websites. People are mean jerks. It’s a life lesson we all know and you just need to get over it. There are 7 billion people in the world and our lives are much easier than most anywhere else in the world. At best we barely know 1,000 people in out lives that’s 0.00000014285%. Very few of us will ever be famous.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MrSwearword
      MrSwearword

      Hell no, 30 days and 3 years of probation was not enough. It should be 10 years or higher with NO PAROLE/PROBATION of any kind. Make an example out of that bastard. He could’ve been from Bumblefuck, Alabama for all I care; send his ass to jail.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hephaestion
      Hephaestion

      30 days????
      This is a joke, right?
      30 fucking days is his sentence?
      This is insane!
      This is not justice. THIS IS NOT JUSTICE!!!!!

      May 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Iudex
      Iudex

      @Oh, ok: Quite a lot, in fact, as does mine, surprise surprise! Whatever his parents and lawyers say, people from his/our neck of the woods are taught to despise gays and to consider them on a par with transvestites, transsexuals and eunuchs. Very simply, the parents were very possibly lying when they suggested to the contrary. Being gay in the Indian subcontinent is a terribly difficult life, unless you hide it. Hiding the truth and telling lies in many respects is as easy as breathing in and breathing out. Homophobia is as endemic in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh as is Kennel Cough in a dog pound. The rule of the road is that of sheer hypocrisy, my friend. Do it, if you must, but at all costs don’t be seen to do it….. clear enough?

      May 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jackpapa
      jackpapa

      @KV: Dorm residents invite guests back to their rooms all the time, KV. Often for *gasp* sexual purposes. Tyler asked for, and had a reasonable expectation of, PRIVACY. Ravi had no cause for complaint. NONE. Because he said yes to the request for the room.

      May 21, 2012 at 7:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • aki
      aki

      Yes , because Tylers suicide and the case itself are two different things and Ravi should not be punished for somebody elses suicide . He’s an idiot but a lot of people that age are and often they grow out of it . The sentence is fair because it finally judged the actual crime (the spying, there was no overall broadcast )and not the , at times , hysterical, emotional reaction to it . And yes , I wish Tyler would have found somebody to talk to , be alive today . But Ravi is not a murderer.

      May 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      I did not think he deserved a harsh sentence but 6 months would have taught a better lesson…lindsey lohan gets 30 days every other month

      May 21, 2012 at 8:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JAW
      JAW

      I think Tyler’s Mom needs to spend time behind bars… she is the one that was not happy and made Tyler’s life more miserable for a lot longer then Ravi did

      Tyler felt comfortable enough with Ravi to bring guys back to their room… even after he found Ravi’s camera on. Ravi screwed up… he will be punished for it… Hell if Tyler had not committed suicide… this case would never had made it to court… Rutgers would have settled the situation quietly.

      May 21, 2012 at 8:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @KV: You’re being too level-headed and rational. You have to demand 10 years, stomp your feet, and spit on Ravi’s name to be “accepted” on this internet site.

      May 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Agreed with KV and Oh OK
      Agreed with KV and Oh OK

      This was a college dorm room, not a rent by the hour motel for Tyler’s online hook ups. As far as Tyler being vulnerable? It was only 2 weeks into the college semester and he asked for the room 2 times and didn’t want Ravi there? Mr. MB. is 30 years old, he couldn’t afford a no tell motel that charges by the hour? Ravi and Tyler were strangers sharing a room, I don’t see Tyler being delicate at all, showing himself on cam 4 for all the world to see and then gays trying to say it was the cam in the dorm room, Ravi’s own room also by the way, that caused him to go jump? In no way.

      May 21, 2012 at 9:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jonjon
      jonjon

      I think six months would’ve been more satisfying, but 30 days is better than no jail time and honestly the people who are freaking out about he should’ve gone to ten years and then get deported just don’t understand how the law works. It’s not illegal to be an asshole. He’s obviously not a nice kid, but rich cool kids usually aren’t and it’s not going to make the world a better place just to punish this one disproportionately out of revenge. He didn’t drive Tyler to suicide any more than Tyler’s family and society in general did.

      May 21, 2012 at 9:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Will L
      Will L

      @1equalityUSA: I wholeheartedly agree about Karma. There is a good chance that his crime will dawn on him at some point and he will destroy himself – one way or another… if something else doesn’t do him in first. He may be high-fiving his buds right now, but he will pay eventually – maybe even his entire life. That is good enough for him.

      May 21, 2012 at 10:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Will L
      Will L

      @aki: I also have to address your comment about his not being a murderer. If you force a car off the rode and the other driver hits a tree and dies, are you a murderer? You didn’t mean for them to hit the tree, after all. That was their own doing.

      If you think about it, there is a similarity here.

      May 21, 2012 at 10:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martin
      Martin

      Will L-And why should we take anything you write seriously? You don’t even know how to spell “road” correctly.

      May 21, 2012 at 11:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • aki
      aki

      @Will L:
      See I don’t feel like Ravi “forced a car of the road” Keeping it metaphorically Ravi might have been the night or rain . For me it looks like a depressed kid commiting suicide , an insensitive teenage idiot who clearly wasn’t thinking and sensational media pushing these two things together in need of a new story.

      May 21, 2012 at 11:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KV
      KV

      @jonjon: No one drives anyone to suicide. It’s not an involuntary action. Can’t put the “blame” off on anyone else.

      May 21, 2012 at 11:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dbo
      Dbo

      I’m with KV… Ravi didn’t drive Clementi to jump off the bridge. Ravi’s actions might have impacted Clementi’s decision making but he wasn’t the root cause. I think the larger issue here is systemic: What societal factors are detrimental for gay people and can, in this case, drive a person to commit suicide. Umm… I can list 100 off the top of my head! This is something that Clementi had been thinking about for a long time. It wasn’t impulsive. Suicide never is. It’s always calculated and thought over for a long time. So, yes, Ravi was fucked up and he knows it now! But he’s not a murderer.

      May 22, 2012 at 12:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • abel
      abel

      The sentence was far too lenient. At least a year in jail would have been appropriate. Spoiled rich kid gets away with it. He has no remorse, no regrets for what he did. Evil little shit.

      May 22, 2012 at 1:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Derek
      Derek

      It is not his fault that Glenn killed himself over a prank. HOLY OVER REACTION.

      May 22, 2012 at 1:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DouggSeven
      DouggSeven

      He should be deported for lying, invasion of privacy, and tampering evidence – and that is all. Does this judge normally take crazy pills? How could he possibly not be in favor of this? This sends a wrong message to future immigrants and they can even bring up this case up as a defense when they break the law.

      May 22, 2012 at 2:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charlie
      Charlie

      His crime was for filming Tyler and spying on him – yes it is a fair sentence. I don’t wish him well in life or anything but he is not on trial for murder.

      May 22, 2012 at 3:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mark Porter
      Mark Porter

      The sentence was appropriate. Dharun Ravi is mostly guilty of poor judgement. He did not set out to do something that might cause Tyler to commit suicide. What he did was stupid and insensitive, but certainly not murder.

      May 22, 2012 at 6:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Victor
      Victor

      No. Just for spying on hisroommate, he should have gotten some time to think about his acts.

      May 22, 2012 at 7:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Muffin6butt
      Muffin6butt

      He needs to be deported, AFTER serving 10. it would send a clear statement on what America is about, forget what people say about immigration and amnesty. As a country we must make a statement about bigotry we must close the door to future Ravis.

      I won’t wish violence upon him in prison as many have done, but I will not loose sleep over wising his 30days of prison time is like hell. After all Ravi is a demon.

      May 22, 2012 at 7:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KV
      KV

      @Mark Porter: Exactly. Just the fact that he knew about one recording and still wanted to invite hookups back to the room (to possibly be recorded again) makes me think the streams weren’t the main issue, which would also make blaming Ravi for the death unreasonable. The taping could’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back, but I highly doubt it was the only thing on “the camel’s back” like some of the guys here seem to believe. Ravi didn’t do anything to suggest he intentionally meant Clementi any physical harm. He’s guilty of pulling an invasive and immature prank gone wrong, but that’s it.

      May 22, 2012 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PTBoat
      PTBoat

      Martha Stewart got five months for lying to authorities. 30 days is ridiculous. He should be deported, at the very least.

      May 22, 2012 at 8:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • aki
      aki

      @Victor:

      And you don’t think being turned into the devil personified on the Internet might just just do the trick and get him to think about it.
      Ravi became everyones bully and everyone projected his/her own pain onto him . But flogging him won’t make that pain go away and making-a-statement-justice is not justice, that’s revenge .

      May 22, 2012 at 10:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Continuum
      Continuum

      Ravi didn’t get a sentence . . . . he got a gift. All that was missing was a ribbon and bow.

      Geeezzz, he was basically a peeping tom, committing a sex crime.

      If a straight man had done the same thing, that is spy and broadcast the bedroom sex of a straight women, he would be a registered sex offender.

      People get more time for shoplifting a soda than this guy got.

      Additionally, his unrepentant attitude, his lack of remorse, his faux apology to the victim’s family betray Ravi’s belief that he is entitled to do whatever his snot nosed, rich boy attitude allows.

      Ravi has learned nothing.

      His sentence was a joke. A slap in the face to any person gay or straight who values their privacy.

      May 22, 2012 at 11:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @PTBoat: Martha Stewart got caught insider trading and wasn’t a good old boy who could worm his way out of it.

      Do you people know anything about anything? You can’t compare laws, you can’t compare sentences, and you can’t compare crimes.

      Ravi was a bully who got more sentencing than most bullies get. Most bullies are not sent to jail. Wake up altogether and realize what you’re saying.

      May 22, 2012 at 1:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mc
      mc

      Well maybe if more bullies were sent to jail & got longer sentences there would be a lot less bullying.

      Invasion of privacy may be meaningless to people weaned off of internet porn, sexting & the like but not everyone is a slut & not everyone wants their private life played out for the ridicule of others. Some things others brush aside as that’s just the way it is, is painful for others to experience. Understanding that is what it means to feel empathy.

      The sentence is too little to be meaningful. The judge dropped the ball. He should have sentenced him to at least 6 months and should also have recommend deportation as he’s guilty of a felony. Even arrests without conviction lead to deportation in most cases as I know people who this has happened to.

      Hopefully Tyler Clement’s parents can continue with their lawsuit. Considering the guilty verdict, they should have a good case to win.

      May 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @mc: Riiight.

      Here’s a post from the other article by the way:

      “I just did a search on this thread for “mom” and “mother” and “Mrs. Clementi” and got no hits, so I’m wondering why nobody has brought up the fact that he came out three weeks before he killed himself and in a IM to a friend wrote:

      “It’s a good thing dad is ok w/it or I would be in serious trouble/ mom has basically completely rejected me”

      Mrs. Clementi apparently totally freaked out when Tyler came out, started in with the loathsome, selfish “OMG! OMG! I’m never going to have grandchildren” rubbish (because both sons were gay and she’s never heard of surrogate mothers) and so on. She claims she was working on it, but 3 weeks? Please.

      How about the possibility that he killed himself because of the rejection from his mom?”

      Ah so there were more people in Tyler’s life than just Ravi and his poor poor mother rejected him for being gay. Yet you’re defending her and allowing her to pass off her gilt on to Ravi.

      Interesting.

      May 22, 2012 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mc
      mc

      @Oh, ok: What’s interesting is why you feel the need to attack everyone’s opinion that’s not jiving with yours. If this was a Queerty post that asked Does “Oh, Ok” think the sentence is fair, then I’d understand this. But they requested the opinion of everyone and I gave mine.

      This young man was upset about what Ravi did. He complained about it to others. His suicide occurred days after this event occurred. What he did was most likely triggered by this event. He was actually convicted on the privacy issues & I think he should have had a more meaningful sentence of at least 6 months & should definitely be deported due to his status as a convicted criminal.

      That’s My Opinion. You’re free to post yours (although I’m sure everyone it’s pretty clear what it is).

      May 22, 2012 at 2:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @mc: You bounced off my post which constitutes a reply. I’m not attacking you, you’re attacking Ravi, and insinuating he caused a suicide.

      I merely told you there’s other evidence that his mother may have caused his suicide which makes a lot more sense than killing yourself because your roommate say you making out with your much older boyfriend. Something Ravi had already seen by merely being present in the room.

      There’s also evidence that Tyler made ra cist statements about Ravi, yet no one seems to care about any of these things.

      It was typical teenage bullshit drama and didn’t deserve to be a criminal case.

      Tyler may in fact have initially started things with Ravi because of trouble at home and his mother rejecting him.

      You nor I or anyone else knows what truly happened and that’s my point.

      You think I’m attacking you but you also think it’s ok to drag a young man’s name through the mud when you have no idea what happened.

      It makes me angry how some of you think it’s ok to destroy another person’s life when you don’t have all the facts so yeah I am harsh in my words on this subject.

      You want someone to pay for a CHOICE another person made.

      Ravi was totally wrong in the decision to record/stream Tyler’s privacy, that is it.

      Why you think you are privy to more information than that is beyond me and the fact that you think this is merely opinion when it’s destroying someone’s life is ridiculous. The only reason this even went to trial is hearsay.

      May 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Basch
      Basch

      I don’t necessarily think he should have gotten more jail time because what he did wasn’t directly done to harm Tyler Clementi in the way that it ended up happening. That being said, it was a disgusting thing to do and I think he should have gotten deported essentially saying we don’t want scum like you in our country if we can help it. He very directly invaded someone’s privacy, very purposely did something to humiliate the person, and apparently did things to hide evidence and the like. He shouldn’t be allowed to remain in the US and take classes to he can be just another douchebag big business guy like he is inevitably going to end up being.

      May 22, 2012 at 4:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oh, ok
      Oh, ok

      @Basch: Rich white guys do it all the time and their daddies settle out of court so you never even hear about what happened to begin to form an opinion about it.

      Why should Ravi be any different? He fucked up in a disgusting way, he’s paying. More than what the spoiled rich white kids who do the same or worse get in America.

      Even white celebrities who aren’t all that rich get away with damn near anything. Why is Ravi a special case?

      Rape victims, the tormented, victims of molestation, and more get paid off out of court by parents who coddle their spoiled children every single day.

      If that doesn’t bother folks then I don’t know why this one case in which Ravi didn’t actually kill Tyler warrants deportation. You can’t deport the people who live here, have done far worse, and got away with it with no loss of reputation.

      May 22, 2012 at 5:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Randall Reynolds
      Randall Reynolds

      ABSOLUTELY unfair. After all, the State of California hands down harsher punishments for DUI than was given to Dharun Ravi.

      Surely 10 years would’ve been too harsh, but I would’ve felt GREAT about 1-3 years…. Yet 30 days?! That’s merely a slap on the wrist.

      May 22, 2012 at 10:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pickles
      Pickles

      Dharun Ravi was not charged in Tyler’s death.

      Continuing to bring it up is just deflecting from the ACTUAL charges he was faced with
      lying, invasion of privacy, and tampering evidence and like 20 some odd other counts none of which have anything to do with Tyler Clementi’s decision to kill himself.

      Filming your roommate’s sexual encounters and broadcasting them to others and attempting to do so multiple times then lying about it, trying to coerce others to lye, not having any remorse for the pain you caused another human being (enough that he was begging to have his room changed).

      I don’t get why folks here are so worried about Dharun Ravi’s welfare.

      He was never going to be sent away for 10 years.

      But 30 days is basically saying that he’s don’t nothing wrong as far as I’m concerned.

      Everyone here is deflecting.

      I don’t care how many sexual partners Tyler had or how old they were, he was an adult and he has a right to have a sex life just like I’m sure the hundreds of straight guys his age were having in the dorms while asking their roommates if they could have the room

      Since when is a college student having sex something to be derided?

      It’s one thing to JUST spy on your roommate, it’s another thing to invite other people ON TWITTER to watch (not once, but twice). Then to have your entire dorm talking about what they’ve seen?

      Do people here just not have any compassion for what it’s like to be a young gay man who is independent or the firs time and probably feeling safe and free to explore being gay?

      This is not about Tyler Clementi’s mother or father or anyone else. None of those people invaded his privacy, mocked him about it then tried to cover it up.

      Dharun Ravi committed SEVERAL crimes for which he should have received a minimum of a year AND community service.

      I wish folks could put all the prudery and judging of the victim aside and actually focus on the crime that was committed.

      It’s horrible that Tyler killed himself.

      But the fact that Dharun Ravi isn’t responsible for Tyler’s death DOES NOT MEAN THAT DHARUN RAVI ISN’T A LYING, CONNIVING, CRIMINAL who had shown no remorse for his crimes or any compassion for his victim!

      If someone recorded me having sex and showed it to other people, I’d want them underneath the jail.

      May 23, 2012 at 12:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan
      Evan

      No deportation. That doesn’t make sense. Maybe some more jail time, but no more than a year or two.

      May 23, 2012 at 4:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      Guys, there are a lot of misconceptions still floating around out there. Examples:

      1. “It’s one thing to JUST spy on your roommate, it’s another thing to invite other people ON TWITTER to watch (not once, but twice).” Reality – Ravi spied once on one day for maybe two seconds and saw two guys kissing, maybe with their shirts off, using Molly Wei’s computer. She then turned the cam back on later that evening and showed it to others, apparently without Ravi’s involvement. He then talked about it on Twitter, finally “daring” others to video-chat with him on the second day. The computer was off that time (his roommate basically pulled the plug to be sure), but Ravi claimed to have turned off the cam before his roommate showed up. Given the conviction, we can assume that the jury did not believe his claim. There’s a fair chance that his claim could have been verified – if he was using a server (very likely), there would almost certainly be “keep alive” messages going between the server and Ravi’s computer, and that traffic should have been recorded in the log files Rutger’s IT guy testified about.

      2. “His crime was for filming Tyler and spying on him” No filming took place – the term filming implies a permanent copy that can be replayed later. What happened was like setting up a wiretap but without a recorder attached.

      3. In general, invasion of privacy is not a crime – it is a civil offense or in some cases merely bad manners, not a criminal one. New Jersey’s law has an exception to that – when the invasion of privacy involves, or would reasonably be expected to involve, nudity or sexual activity. In both cases the cam showed only part of Ravi’s roommate’s bed, and no sexual activity was seen (nor any nudity – no views of “private” parts of anyone’s anatomy).

      The 30 day sentence probably reflected the fact that no sexual activity beyond kissing was viewed nor any nudity, and any attempt to view that was at best half-hearted – apparently the cam was directed more at Ravi’s own bed and the door, capturing only a small part of Tyler’s bed. At least, that is what some of the witnesses claimed.

      For those who want to see Ravi punished, one advantage of a short jail sentence and a suggestion that he not be deported is that it might conceivably encourage Ravi to drop an appeal due to a cost/benefit trade off given what it costs per hour for a lawyer.

      May 23, 2012 at 2:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zz
      Zz

      Pickles, you hit the nail on the head. Ravi is NOT responsible for Clementi’s death, Clementi is. What Ravi is responsible for is invasion of privacy, harassment, and coercing others to lie to cover up a crime.

      Whatever happened to the Asian girl? Molly, I think it was?

      May 24, 2012 at 8:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      I think the sentence is fair. Part of his punishment has been the publicity. Everyone knows him and what he did, and his life is never going to be the same.

      He should serve some jail time for invasion of privacy, but 10 years is excessive. Tyler Clementi’s suicide was Tyler Clementi’s decision. Dharun Ravi’s actions created a hostile environment for Tyler and contributed to him making that decision, but he is in no way legally responsible for Tyler’s death.

      May 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gophers
      Gophers

      First of all, I feel extremely bad for Tyler Clementi’s family. When a loved one commits suicide, those left behind are the ones who suffer.

      The sentence is fair. Dharun Ravi was a bully no doubt about it. However, it comes to a deeper issue regarding one’s mental health. For someone to make the decision to jump off the G.W. Bridge because of what Ravi did to him is not rational. I imagine that Tyler Clementi was severely depressed and this my have created a “tipping point” of sorts for him. Ultimately, it comes down to how little we value mental health and well-being in this country ESPECIALLY for college students. Often, the reality of being away from home and friends and family is too much to handle and in my experience with state schools at least were that mental health (psychiatry and counseling) was way not available for easy access to students.

      May 25, 2012 at 10:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D P
      D P

      @B: — I agree with your point in #3 and in your closing paragraph. I watched the sentencing hearing as it was happening, and the impression I got was that the judge intentionally set up the option for the Clementi family to seek a civil case. And, I was getting the impression that Judge Berman was aiming to maximize the probability for the civil suit to win.

      As a matter of full disclosure, I was hoping that the judge would throw the book at Ravi. But as I listened to the judge, I came to understand his logic behind his decision. I understood it, but I still wanted the full penalty.

      I hope the Clementi’s continue to pursue justice in civil court.

      May 26, 2012 at 4:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Terry
      Terry

      I don’t think he got a fair sentence at all. I wanted the book thrown at him. I am outraged at this becasue it was just unfair. I feel the judge felt as if a gay person wasn’t as valuable as a straight person.

      May 29, 2012 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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