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How to Celebrate the Rapture by Throwing Your Own End-of-the-World Party

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The end is near!  If Judgment Day on May 21 has you stressed, we recommend throwing the End of the World Bash to end all End of the World Bashes … literally.

Sure, you don’t have time for handwritten invitations, evites, or even a Facebook invite. Just send out a mass text message out: “RAPTURE PARTY: My place, 4pm – eternity!”

Who cares if the dust bunnies are the size of actual bunnies or if your Kwaanza decorations are still hanging from the ceiling. (Kwanza 2008.)

Pull out several large garbage bags, fill them with empty wine bottles, dirty clothes, Hummels, dead plants and anything else you have cluttering up your living room. That’s clean enough for Judgement Day!

Of course, if you’re not ready to have guests over, that’s okay. Just check your local listings for an end times party in your town. The Mezz Bar in LA shrugs, “If the world’s gonna end we might as well go out with a bang,” and SF’s Q Bar boasts, “Got rapture issues? No problem! Here at Q Bar we dance like it’s the end of the world EVERY Friday.”

Now, if you’re in the mood to host the festivities, we’ll need to start with the menu.

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By:           Jeffrey James Keyes
On:           May 21, 2011
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 19 Comments
    • ChrisWrites
      ChrisWrites

      An Irishman’s take on the Rapture – http://chriswrites.net/2011/05/20/rapture-this/

      May 21, 2011 at 9:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adonis-of-Fire
      Adonis-of-Fire

      The end of the world was supposed to start at 6 pm local time of every country *eye rolling*
      I’m still waiting for NZ to go under…

      May 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kt and lil p
      kt and lil p

      …lets celebrate the delusion together… drinks on the rooftop tomorrow when we are still here! black mojito perhaps!!! xoxo

      May 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAINTOM
      PLAINTOM

      Happy Rapture Day Everybody!

      May 21, 2011 at 3:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      LMAO. Well, its 6 PM here and nothing has happened. 6:03, to be exact. Wonder what the nutballs who believed this shit are doing now?

      May 21, 2011 at 6:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kev C
      Kev C

      As of 6:35, I officially declare all religious nuts and bigots to be dead*

      *brain dead

      May 21, 2011 at 6:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      What really pisses me off is the nutters who’ve been putting pets down, supposedly so that they didn’t have to suffer through the rapture. Vets should have refused to do it.

      May 21, 2011 at 7:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      Worst. Rapture. Ever.

      May 21, 2011 at 8:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Jeffree: did you get the video???

      May 21, 2011 at 9:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adonis-of-Fire
      Adonis-of-Fire

      I say we march to California and spray gas (maybe just cooking oil, coz gas is expensive) on their church and set it on fire :)
      Hopefully with all of them inside :P

      May 21, 2011 at 9:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Shannon1981: No video, arrrrgh. The “organizer” didn’t bring the right kind of lighting.

      Of the 40+ people who said they were participating, only 9 showed up. Semi-epic let down!
      — — —
      Lots of news floating around on the googles etc. about people who killed their pets because of the idea that pets “can’t go to heaven,” blah frikky bla bla!

      Scary, gullible & righteous people like that will always be with us, sad to say.

      May 21, 2011 at 10:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      @Jeffree: Bah that blows! That couldn’t have been awesome.

      As for the poor pets…their owners should be locked up. Hell, everyone who believed this shit needs to be institutionalized. STAT. People like this roaming free is a very scary thought.

      May 21, 2011 at 10:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      could have been**

      May 21, 2011 at 10:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      No big earthquakes today. Anybody missing?

      May 21, 2011 at 11:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chelsea8
      Chelsea8

      Perfect reflection of much of the Bible, udder non-sense.

      May 21, 2011 at 11:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Willyouplease
      Willyouplease

      This bullcrap wasn’t even in the bible.

      May 22, 2011 at 8:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tallskin
      Tallskin

      a shame it didn’t happen. A world without religious nuts would be so much nicer. For one our criminal class would virtually vanish

      May 22, 2011 at 10:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hf2hvit
      hf2hvit

      Rapture??? It’s CRAPTURE!!!

      May 22, 2011 at 10:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • analdildo696969
      analdildo696969

      All this is doing is proving that religion is made up BULLSHIT

      May 22, 2011 at 9:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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