Getting Real

‘Real O’Neals’ Star Noah Galvin: Colton Haynes’ Coming Out Was “P*ssy Bullsh*t”

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The Real O’Neals had definitely been one of this spring’s breakout TV comedies. Now that the ABC sitcom — about the everyday foibles of a Catholic family after their middle son comes out as gay — has been picked up for a second season, star Noah Galvin is well on his way to becoming one of the most unabashedly opinionated young actors in Hollywood. In an interview with New York Magazine’s Vulture.com, the out and loud 22-year-old reads everyone from Eric Stonestreet to Bryan Singer for filth.

Clearly some of Real O’Neals executive producer Dan Savage’s unapologetic candor has rubbed off on Galvin. He makes no bones about the fact that being out has cost him at least 1 role.

“People in L.A., producers and casting directors, are not the most creative. … So when they see me play this character, they’re like, Oh, he’s really good at playing the funny gay kid. That’s what he does. Let’s have him do more of that! …

“One producer who watches our show was like, But he’s too gay. It was horrible. It made me feel so shitty.”

From there the dish just gets dishier and the shade gets shadier. Galvin has no patience for L.A.’s vapid, closeted actors or the party boys of WeHo. And his description of Hollywood’s gay network is priceless: “Bryan Singer likes to invite little boys over to his pool and diddle them in the fucking dark of night.”

Meanwhile he calls Colton Haynes “the worst” for talking about coming out while never actually saying that he’s gay:

“That’s not coming out. That’s fucking pussy bullshit. That’s like, enough people assume that I sleep with men, so I’m just going to slightly confirm the fact that I’ve sucked a dick or two. That’s not doing anything for the little gays but giving them more masturbation material.”

Related: Colton Haynes Opens Up Honestly About His Sexuality And His Health

He also cops to throwing Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet under the bus more than once: “He’s playing a caricature of a caricature of a stereotype of stereotype on Modern Family. And he’s a straight man in real life. And as hilarious as that character is, there’s a lack of authenticity.”

All gossip aside, probably one of the most interesting parts of the interview is when Galvin talks about the way he performs his character’s gayness. He describes the “ebb and flow” of Kenny’s flamboyance in terms of code switching, comparing it to the way he performs his own gender and sexuality in real life: “It depends on who you’re with. If I’m with a bunch of gays, I’m going to be like, Yas queen! Yas, yas, yas! But when I’m with my brothers and we’re wrestling, I’m going to bro out. And I want Kenny to be that.”

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