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Are you watching this season’s Real World? It’s set in Cancun, is pretty terrible, but at least it’s a reality show that doesn’t include nonstop gay slurs. On the cast is Derek, token homo, who’s just looking for love — of the straight acting variety. In Cancun! Hahaha. Poor thing. But! He does meet this one guy, Johnny. But Johnny is a client for Derek’s spring break travel company, and fraternizing with the customers is frowned upon. No worries: Just hide the wristband and go home together!
(Video via Jezebel)
pc
why the hate? so he’s attracted to straight-acting guys, big deal. as a reality tv hag, i believe he’s representing just fine.
TANK
There’s no such thing as straight acting. Bet this guy’s totally into gay for pay porn, too. Another walking wounded. I hate this “community”. It’s full of brownies and gumdrops.
Qjersey
We need to stop using “straight acting” as a euphemism for “not a bitchy/campy queen.” It is insulting.
I have also found the guys who are very into being “straight acting” are the same ones who say ‘f*ck my p*ssy’ and wanna be called a ‘f*ggot c*cksucker.’
Michael W.
What classifies Derek as a token character?
HayYall
@Qjersey: I thought I told you if you kept talking about our sex life in blogs that we were through!
D-Sun
First of all, I hate the term “straight acting.” It seems to imply that if a guy doesn’t mince, bitch with his girlfriends and spout phrases like “you go gurrrrrrl,” it’s all just an act…
And second, this season is a train wreck. Just…Awful. Although Derek is pretty adorable.
galefan2004
You know watching The Real World last night (which I do not find terrible at all), the first thing I could think is how long will it take QT to lampoon this poor dude simply because he likes his men a little more macho and to walk a little towards the straight side. That is his personal preference. He has every right to that preference. If he likes his men more straight acting then all the power to him. Its not like he was saying that straight acting guys are better, he was just saying he liked them. Its also funny that you conveniently forget to mention his overly gay “ex-boyfriend” who ends up hooking up with a 50 year old guy while visiting him.
Krysan
Straight-acting? The guy Derek was hooking up with didn’t seem very butch to me. This reminds of that queeny gay guy from Big Brother who prided himself for not being a screaming queen. Denial is the word du jour.
Tony12
What does “straight acting” mean? Neither one of those guys are my defintion of “straight acting”. Helen Keller could tell that they are gay. The hair, tweezed eyebrows, the way they move, voice, animated facial expressions, etc.
rick
straight acting: abyone not a flaming nelly queen, leather queen or butch clone who looks and acts like everybody alse and just happens to be gay. 98 percent of the real gay population.
i know straight men that are more gay acting than my husband.
rick
@rick: anyone
some days i feel like that old woman that talks to ellen, i love jesus but…..
better than feeling like karen black in airport 75.
Tallskin
Ah, the video is sweet!
Cute lads
galefan2004
@Tony12: Yes but the boy in question was much more metro looking than gay looking. Metro is simply in unfortunately. I think it means that he doesn’t wear his homosexuality on his sleeve. It goes into the desire to have a more macho man, but honestly, the term just sucks. Gay men can be quite macho.
michael
Straight acting can either mean you despise anything that resembles being gay or that you just don’t want a nasty queen. I hate the term because it sets everyone up as either or and no gray areas are allowed. Here in Vancouver you can be hard pressed to tell who is straight and who is gay sometimes. Guys here are so into their bodies, hair and clothes that they take metro-sexual to a whole new level and its really nice. I have been to so many partys that were gay/straight male/female mixed. I have been involved in conversations with straight couples where the guy has had no issue admitting that he has tried fucking around with guys and just learned it was not his thing. I have had so many straight guys with there girlfriends cuddle up next to me on sofas, give me nice kisses on the lips, etc. Its like its very cool up here to not be homophobic and being so is considered so backward and square. Thats not to say there are not pockets of bullshit but its just so different to live around people who are not afraid and threatened by who you are.
TANK
Nasty “queens”, then, can be heterosexual. Victims of sexism… Gross.
TANK
It sounds so cool in vancouver with people getting their jaws broken for being gay.
Lawdy that’s progressive. I hate scenester breeders. THey’re so gross. And scene fags, too. Goddamn the hipsters. Goddamn them all to hell.
Anthony
Derek hahahaha for him to like straight looking guys is funny. He is really gay. He looks reallllllly gay. In fact, he looks 100% bottom from a football field away. Sorry to say it but when retards like that say things such as he just likes straight looking guys they need to be put in their gay place.
galefan2004
@Anthony: Actually, in my experience, the ones that are the biggest bottoms are also the ones most likely to want the straight man. They are attracted to the opposite of themselves. They want a more manly guy.
Princess Pussyfoot
@TANK: “BITTER QUEEN” party of one!
ChristopherM
It is fine to like macho guys or whatever, but I am convinced that men who use the term “straight-acting” in that manner have a great deal of internalized homophobia to deal with.
galefan2004
@ChristopherM: I think its definitely a more internalized homophobic term, but its so wide spread that it points more towards internalized homophobia in the community itself instead of just one particular individual. Personally, I love that my man is gay. I also love that he is more macho than I am. I’m starting to prefer the term macho to the other one. Gay men can be very macho men.
SouLKid
Try “acting” straight with a dick up someone’s ass or vise versa.
I don’t get it.why ‘act’? To me this “straight-acting” thingy suggests you aint genuine.You are acting i.e being something that you are not.I know quite a lot of guys who are very masculine but they don’t call themselves ‘straight-acting’ bcoz to them its not an act.
Marius
I think he said that he liked the guy because you’d never know he was gay. Isn’t that a little more than liking “straight acting” guys? Maybe it’s just me who sees it that way? Is it the same thing? Don’t know.
Anony
Sigh…im so tired of hearing the word straight acting. It associates everything positive with straight, and everything negative (bitchy, catty, disloyal, slutty, etc) with gay. Talk about internalized homophobia.
I correct the term anytime I hear it. The word these dimwits are looking for is MASCULINE.
straight guys can be bitchy just like gay guys can. Straight guys can also be effeminate.
Theres nothing wrong at all with preferring a masculine man. Just dont exclusively attribute those “positive masculine traits” to heterosexual man.
MackMike
@Qjersey: When will I learn? I should have just kept my mouth shut that night we were together!
MackMike
@HayYall: I need to learn to read all the comments before I post…beat me to it, HayYall, and you said it better!
Shae
Who isnt attracked to straight acting guys, by being gay we like MEN we dont want a girly man that acts like a WOMAN, i will never be attracked to a girly man.
TANK
@Shae:
OMG. You are a really big part of what’s wrong with gay men. It’s pathetic.
brad
This is simply MTV’s attempt at gay-inclusiveness. It’s a token gesture. MTV’s main aim is to promote homophobic black rappers and hip-hop artists, which it does with aplomb.
Memo to gay America: don’t fall for MTV’s double-speak. They’re homophobic to the hilt over there at MTV.
brad
I think “straight-acting” is code for “honest”. Guys who act camp are usually dishonest, insecure and attention-seeking. Camp guys are the male equivalent of the female attention whore.
Joan
@Brad/Shae: That’s sounds like some pretty lame self-hate/insecurity. I hope to heaven you’re just 16-year-olds and not just really damaged adults. It takes far, far more balls to be out every day as a fem guy or a butch lesbian than it does for someone who passes as straight. Considering all the crap fem guys get *even* from other gays–way to support your brothers, shitheads–I think they deserve some serious credit for living as a visible minority.
What is the value of our crappy “gay-rights movement” if we start out by replicating the exact same anti-gay and anti-feminine biases we used to criticize in straight society? All the queens who quite literally put their lives on the line so that you two could have the luxury of being yourselves, and what have you chosen to be? Ignorant *and* assimilated. Brava.
Joan
@TANK: You’re awesome.
Tony12
@Shae:
and you will never be able to spell either.
galefan2004
@SouLKid: Honestly, I like your take. I couldn’t resemble a straight man if I tried, and I don’t need a dick up my ass in order to make it even more difficult.
The whole terminology is left over from a day when we were ashamed to be who we were and wanted to be around guys that made us think we were more capable of fitting into the heterosexist culture. Then it just became a way of limiting possible partners on the hook up sites.
Its an unacceptable term. There are plenty of quality gay guys. They don’t need to act like straights to be quality gay guys. Some day “straight acting” will go the way of other derogatory terms because it implies something is wrong with if you act gay. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with being fem. There is nothing wrong with being who you are as a person. Just be yourself and don’t act period.
galefan2004
@Marius: Technically its the very definition. However, that is implying that there is something wrong with people knowing that you are gay. There is nothing wrong with people knowing that you are gay.
galefan2004
@Anony: In real life, and this blog is just a horrible example of this, I’m very calm and collective. I’m very passive and I really don’t go into hysterics. My straight brother on the other hand can fly off the handle at any moment in a temper tantrum and be a total diva. He reminds me so much of my mother, and I act very much like my father.
galefan2004
@TANK: OMFG, TANK AND I AGREE ON SOMETHING! ITS PRETTY FUCKING AMAZING!
That being said, there is nothing wrong with a man that knows how to embrace his feminine side. There is nothing wrong with a man that wants to be groomed and carry himself well. On the flip side there is nothing wrong with a man that wants to act with machismo and be more masculine. There is nothing wrong with a man that likes pick up trucks and outdoors activities.
The only place there is a wrong is when you feel pressured to be anything other than yourself for any reason. People like you 100% more when you are actually yourself instead of acting any particular way. If you want to embrace your feminine side then do it. If you want to embrace your masculine side then do it. Your chances of getting into a relationship when you love who you are is 100% better than when you put on a mask.
jason
Camp guys aren’t my cup of tea. But let’s not diss camp guys simply because they might not be your cup of tea. Keep in mind that camp guys were pivotal in starting the gay rights movement. The Stonewall riots in New York had camp guys and drag queens in the frontline.
The gay rights movement owes a debt of gratitude to camp gay guys.
galefan2004
@brad: Dude, I seriously get it, you HATE MTV. However, you are full of shit about them too. They have done more for gay rights on television than any other network EVER has or EVER will at this point. They gave us Pedro (who introduced HIV awareness into the main stream). They gave us the first gay kiss as they proved that gay men are just like straight men. They even give us this season which shows that all the people on the show are very gay accepting (even to the point of the straight guys going with their gay friend to a gay bar because that is where he wants to go). They don’t even fucking show music except late nights anymore, so I don’t see where your take about them promoting rap is from.
galefan2004
@jason: You are allowed to be attracted to more macho men. There is nothing wrong with that. However, you do respect men that embrace their feminine side a little more, and that is good. Everyone out there has someone that they are going to end up with, and everyone is attracted to different things. You can’t force attraction, but you can’t change your core in order to look more attractive either.
Andrew W
The problem with dismissing people as ‘straight acting’ or for trying to butch it up is that it denies us our diversity within our minority. The notion that there can’t be a spectrum of gay men that honestly ranges from nelly to butch is intolerance, pure and simple. For some gay men, it would be an affectation to camp it up. It’s not being true to yourself to try to conform to a projected gay ‘norm’ in the hope of finding acceptance within your community. Not every gay man wants to subvert gender roles. Having a choice about how to define yourself is meaningless if you’re told that the ‘conventional’ choice is wrong.
The term ‘straight acting’ is a bad one, I think in part because people interpret ‘acting’ as ‘pretending’, when it means ‘behaving’. Even then, it’s a misnomer, because it suggests that there’s something inherently ‘straight’ about certain types of behaviour, and that’s nonsense. Worse than the term, though, is the judgemental and divisive way that some people use it, and it’s no more forgiveable than the ‘straight acting’ guys who hold disdain and contempt for guys who are too ‘queenie’.
As for calling people insecure or part of the problem because they admit to being attracted to straight guys, that’s pure unmitigated tripe. Being gay means being attracted to the same sex, not being attracted to other gays. ‘Straight guys’ in this context is just shorthand for a type, and there’s nothing wrong with having a type. Don’t demonise other people’s sexual preferences. You don’t like it when people do it to you.
galefan2004
@Andrew W: Actually, I agree with you. I just think straight acting is a bad term. There is nothing wrong, in my opinion to thinking that a straight guy is hot. The problem comes when you think that all gay guys should act like that straight guy or they are not hot.
I like my men masculine with machismo and the protector type of thing going on. On the flip side, I’m more feminine and use my wiles to protect those I care about more like a mother lion. Thankfully, my man finds that attractive. He likes the inflection in my voice when I speak. He supports the fact that I can get into the drag scene. He supports me for who I am and I support him for who he is. In short, everyone likes something different so don’t be afraid to be who you are.
I pliss
Who here thinks Tank should get his own blog site! Say I!!!!!
Always has something to say and it’s always looks like it smells like shit! He is damming people to hell cause he is already living in hell. His hell of fighting himself always. I’m sure when he looks in the mirror he would never say the legendary quote from Silence of the lambs; “I’d fuck me” cause he is gross, nasty, no quoth, class, decorum or culture. They is no such thing as straight acting? there is something called masculine and feminine. do you agree? You are neither, you are what how do you say it nicely? …..oh yeah a big fat CUNT!!!
galefan2004
@I pliss:
Shae:
Who isnt attracked to straight acting guys, by being gay we like MEN we dont want a girly man that acts like a WOMAN, i will never be attracked to a girly man.
Tank @ Shae:
OMG. You are a really big part of what’s wrong with gay men. It’s pathetic.
Want to tell me who the hell is in the wrong right here again. Shae just wrote off all of the gay population except those that look straight or claim to be straight. That is a huge problem in the gay community. We don’t accept our own because they aren’t “straight” enough for us. Fuck that, there is no way in hell you can make the claim that you can only be with straight men or men that look straight without being an absolute fucking homophobe. You should be attracted to people for who they are not what they look like.
You just made me defend Tank. Therefore, I now absolutely fucking hate you. I don’t like defending Tank. When him and I actually agree on something it sickens me.
Now, if anyone is a self-hating homosexual its the one that wants to throw all queens under the bus and drive on by in favor of reaching that straight guy down the street. That person would be you. You need to check yourself because you do not respect yourself.
ThatguyFromBoston
@shae – I’d like it if you were attracted to a spell-checker! Damn!
Tommy
@galefan2004: @galefan2004:
You misunderstand the difference between being sexually attracted to a certain type of person and being bigoted against them. I’m not attracted to feminine campy men, that doesn’t mean I hate them or think they don’t have a right to be who they are. I just don’t want to sleep with them. Calling someone a homophobe or a self hating homosexual because of that attraction is as silly as someone saying I’m sexist against women because I don’t want to have sex with them.
Of course, you are attracted to people for what they look like at least partially. That’s inherent in the nature of romantic/sexual attraction. If it’s just about who a person is, it’s merely a platonic friendship.
edgyguy1426
ok first LOL THATGUYFROMBOSTON. Shae, to have prejudice against someone based on masc/feminine characteristics is pretty shallow, isn’t it? You’re attracted to whomever you’re attacted to- that’s cool. But don’t put down other people for their preferences either.
galefan2004
@Tommy:
we dont want a girly man that acts like a WOMAN, i will never be attracked to a girly man.
While I agree with you. I don’t agree that this statement says that. If he would have simply said that he is not attracted to more feminine acting guys then I would have thought nothing of it.
Instead what he says is “we.” By saying we he is making it sound like he is representative of the entire gay population when he is not.
Then he continues with “don’t want a girly man that acts like a WOMAN.” By that line he is saying that all feminine acting men are not worthy of the attraction or desire of the gay community because they are less than men and are more like a different type of woman. As you said, the gay community is not attracted to women, so he is basically saying that feminine men have no place in the gay community.
Then he continues with “I will never be attracted to a girly man.” While I respect his right to be attracted to whoever and whatever he wants to be attracted to he doesn’t need to be insulting when he makes that opinion known.
galefan2004
@Tommy: I don’t agree AT ALL with the fact that you are “physical attracted” and that is a “basis for the relationship”. I think that emotional attraction runs much deeper than physical attraction. True emotional attraction trumps the physical every time.
I’ve been physical attracted to my friends. I haven’t wanted to fuck my friends. I’ve been emotionally attracted to my boyfriend and although I consider him hot, I wouldn’t put his looks on the top of my list of things I would talk about when it comes to him.
You remind me of an old friend who when you asked him what he liked most about his boyfriend he talked about how hot they were then that same person couldn’t understand why his relationships burned out constantly.
Seanboy
“If you just look at him you can’t tell he is gay.”
Huh!?!??!?!
he looks pretty gay to me. Guy needs to work on his gaydar. More people would guess that guy gay than straight.
dannyal
whew, good thing andrew w. gave his two cents. I was seriously about to snap reading all the comments saying that ‘straight-acting’ means being fake and self-hating. Didn’t it ever occur to you guys that ‘act’ in that context was meant more like ‘behaving’ than ‘pretending’?
Yes, it CAN be misleading. But I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Those who are straight-pretending know who they are. same goes for those who are straight-behaving. And as gay men ourselves, you should be able to tell straight away (oh man, no pun intended, I swear) one from the other.
I act straight, but I’m not a self-hater. And I CERTAINLY don’t scream “Fuck my pussy” in bed – I just can’t see myself saying that, lol
TANK
@dannyal:
It’s amazing the back flips and contortions people do to defend homophobia (internalized in this case) and sexism (gender binary). Did I say amazing? I meant sad, lame, and predictable.
Peter
I really liked this book too and movie too. My book True Love Is Not Common; http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TrueLoveIsNotCommon.html, has similar main characters. I grew up reading this author since high school. Hope that one day my book will reach many people as this author. While writing True Love Is Not Common, I did a lot of research on the kind of ‘Love’ affecting us today.
galefan2004
@dannyal: I think you completely misunderstood the nature of the comments. The comments were not meant to tear down “straight acting” guys. We have nothing against men that act more macho and masculine. Actually, more macho and masculine men can be very hot for many of us. The comments were against the term used to describe such behavior because it implies that gay men can not be macho and masculine and that behavior is somehow “owned” by the straight world. That is completely false. I prefer my guys more macho and masculine, I’m just not going to use a word that stigmatizes the gay world in order to describe it.