So, by now we all know that Neil Patrick Harris (pictured) came out of the closet. Well, now “notable” cadet/model/activist/author/Lance Bass boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl‘s suggesting that perhaps NPH didn’t so much come out of the closet as he was “lanced”.
What’s that? You’ve never heard of someone being lanced? Neither had we, until we read this article over at 365 Gay in which Reichen defines the new addition to the Gay Speak dictionary:
It’s to be outed by someone in the public media and to a celebrity, and Neil Patrick Harris, I understand, has been ‘lanced’…They’re calling it a ‘lancing’. It’s to be ‘lanced’.
The distinction between being outed and lanced, it seems, lies in the method of disclosure. When someone’s ‘outed’, the news typically comes from an outside source. When someone’s ‘lanced’, they are forced out of the closet but speculation into their private lives.
(Does that mean that only famous people can be ‘lanced’? Also, should ‘lanced’ actually be ‘Lanced’?)
How about we take this to the next level?
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rayj
Sounds like someone will go to any measures to keep his name in the public eye–Lanced, my ass. Moreover neither of these individuals were outed. When one’s dating life is that public the correct term is “publicity.”
Jonathon
Lanced-schmanced…. Bass was VERY careless in his personal life if he had the intention of hiding his sexual orientation. He was spotted with Reichen in tow at several gay events – so if anything, he outed himself and got more press for being gay than he ever did as a boy-band member.
I used to like Reichen, but he’s really just a media whore like Paris Hilton. He loves attention and wants to keep himself in the public eye. Chalk up this ridiculous story to that.
As for Doogie… congrats for coming out. It’s about time.
jackejett
so i am confused.
was rev. ted haggerd “lanced” or “outed”?
if one has never been in the closet can he/she be considered “jetted”?
jack e. jett(ed)
Leland
Welcome, Jonathon, to the growing throng of those who are finally seeing Reichen’s true colors. And, as demonstrated by this latest ludicrous example of his unflagging ability to perceive the entire world only through himself, can the announcement of a signature scent be far away. While he would want to call it “Reichen,” of course, “Delusions of Grandeur” seems so much more apt. Dim wit that he is, just a few months ago he, and his scary mama, were calling Perez all kinds of nasty names for outing Lance from his gold-plated closet. Now that it’s obvious that the identification of his latest Sugar Daddy Top has magnified his “celebrity” status a hundred fold, he should be sending Perez Dom Perignon. And another case to 365gay.com/LOGO who have so enthusiastically become a part of the Reichen Publicity Machine. “This just in: Reichen had a good BM this morning!”
With all the factual errors and typos in his book [entire words are missing from some passages] that could have been caught by a high school newspaper editor with adequate time, the absence of any pictures from his childhood, which much of the book is about, and its very abrupt ending, it’s obvious the book was rushed prematurely into print to capitalize on their relationship while it lasts. Ironically, reports are beginning to surface of his pissing off interviewers across the country for refusing to talk about their affair ostensibly because Lance is writing his own book.
hp
I’m afraid “lanced” has already been taken. You lance a boil to let the pus run out.
How he chooses to refer to his boyfriend is none of my business, but somehow, I don’t think this is what he had in mind.
FizziekruntNT
I believe the proper term would be “confirmed”. Neil Patrick Harris recently put an end to rumors of his sexuality by confirming that he is a homosexual. Jesus fucking Christ, people are stupid…and then they receive publicity that confirms just how fucking stupid they really are. Perhaps, as suggested by another reader, Lance can take care of that unsightly talking boil on the top of his boyfriend’s body and put an end to his (and our) suffering. Maybe he can pop it with a Britney.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Hey, what’s wrong with being a manic self-publicist? Just asking, guys…
DS
wait… what?!? Is Reichen implying Lance is worthy of having a word coined after him? the only trends worthy of attribution to Lance Bass are boy bands and blonde frosted tips.
MysterJay
There are a slew of horrid ‘penile poking’ jokes that will seemingly sprout from this horrid bit of tiny vomit that Reichen spat out. I can hear the cracks falling from some husky male comedian’s lips about how ‘all gays are lanced, that is what makes them gay.’ Don’t people think before they speak?
Creepy Lesbo
Oh Zaphod – that made me laugh!
And I used to love Dougie Howser MD! I had such a crush on him when I was 8. Now that he’s come out, that probably explains soooo much….
Jim
I read somewhere that Reichen’s nickname for Lance is “Bear.” Is that because Bass pays for all the honey?